My baby is gone. All my boys are gone. I'll tell more later.
-Donna

dear donna, please forgive me for not having responded a lot sooner. ive only returned to this site not too long ago as its been very hard for me to read all the sad, heart-wrenching posts that we have all written. Let me say how very sorry i am for your loss. its so fresh and can just imagine how your heart is breaking into so many pieces. please know that buck is in heaven now. his beautiful wings have sprouted and he is sending you his love from up above. i believe that there will be a day when you will be reunited with all your wonderful furbabies. i know it and i feel it. we need to hold on to something right? because without hope what else do we have? i also believe that our four-legged family members are a gift from up above. They are loaned to us for such a short time yet i know in my heart that they are welcomed back with open arms for they are missed up above as well. please take comfort in that. for now take it one breathe at a time ok? be kind to yourself. and please accept a big hug from my lucy and ethel and myself
you are in my thoughts and prayers
patricia

Donna,

I am so sorry. Just keep remembering what a wonderful life you gave Buck... what a lucky dog!

I am praying that you and your husband find comfort in knowing that you did everything you could for Buck.

Rhapsedy

Dear Buck,

They miss you. They'll always love you.


Dear Donna and family,

There is no comfort at a time like this. The sadness and empty house can be torturous. Buck is no longer suffering. I, like others, am sorry for your loss.

Dennis
"Strive to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are."

Donna,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Buck. I am at a loss for words of comfort because I know nothing I can say would help the emptyness in your home tonight. I can only relate to the loss I felt to come close to knowing the loss you feel. I had only one loss to grieve & you've now had three in such a short time.

Hopefully you will be able to somehow embrace the two kitties that need you now. Whether you feel it at this time or not, you may need them also.

Ginger

Oh my, Buck's journey on Earth has come to an end. He's comfortable now, no more pain or discomfort of any kind. You and your husband are the ones who will be taking on this pain now. You're not alone, so many of us feel what you're going through. And to be fur-friendless, it's a sad, sad home...I was there just recently and adopted a cat because I couldn't take it anymore. Hugs to you Donna!!!
Kelly

Donna-

I am so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Buck. You and he fought a hard battle, but in the end, his poor body just gave out. I know all too well what it is like to have an empty house now, and it is awful. I wish that somehow we could all wave a magic wand and take away your pain, but sadly, we cannot. All we can do is offer you tons of love, and a place to come and weep on our shoulders when you need to.

All love to you and your husband--

Margi and SpiritWolf

Thank you so much, Kelly, Ginger, Dennis, Rhapsedy, Patricia, and Margi. I know you know my heartache. I'm still a little numb. He's buried now. It was a peaceful passing. He was not able to get up on his back legs as of this afternoon. His numbers were skyhigh before they started the fluids. They had spiked over the weekend again. And while they did come down a little with the fluids, he wasn't passing the fluid at all. The vet said his kidneys were shutting down. He urinated a small amount after he got home but he should've been producing buckets given the amount of fluids he'd taken in today. His gums and tongue were pale and his eyes were weak. But, darn it, that tail was wagging and he was catching the golf ball from a lying down position right up until the vet got here. His body was tired even though he wasn't. I think the only way we could've ever have gotten "the look" from him would have been after we'd taken it too long.
The vet said the next steps for Buck were coma and/or seizures. We just couldn't take that risk. I told him we'd go to bed early tonight so he could rest. I asked him to never leave us even though he would leave his body. I asked him to protect his yard forever and to sleep with us every night in the "big bed." We haven't slept without him in 10 years. And at least one of us has been with him every single night for at least the last 4 years as we haven't travelled overnight so we wouldn't leave him.
He was a handsome boy tonight. He sat up proud and strong in his yard. There was a gentle breeze. Later, after he was gone, I sat next to him and talked to him but I had the distinct feeling that he wasn't in that body anymore. I told the brothers before he passed to let him get on the couch with them. I'm sure Frasier is slapping Buck's snout right now. My boys are together again. I can't believe I've lost my family in 10 months. 8/27/09, 3/19/10, and 6/7/10 - I wouldn't play the lottery with those numbers. My boys are gone. I'm not going to clean his things away quickly like I did Niles'. I waited with Frasier's things and I know now that is the way for me to go. I regret cleaning up after Niles so quickly. I still have so many issues to resolve about his death. I fear the grief that may overtake me now. I haven't fully grieved for Niles. And now I add Buck.
For those of you who encouraged me to skip work, I'm taking tomorrow off. I'll be alone but I'm sure I'll be on the forum. I think I need some quiet time.
Oh, the emptiness. There's so many holes. His presence in this house was overwhelming. We haven't had a conversation, my husband and I, in forever where Buck didn't get involved somehow. Demanding attention or food. He was the best.
I love you Buck. Sweet dreams, big man. Stay close. - Mommy
-Donna

Donna
I am so very, very sorry to hear about Buck. I haven't been around the forum much as I found it to be too painful sometimes to read of everyone's pain and sadness at the loss of their beloved pets. Today it's exactly 6 months that Sammy is gone. It's getting better - but then when I read posts like yours it brings it all back again. I wish I could take your pain away. I just try and tell myself that the joy our pets brought into our lives far, far outweighs the sorrow of their passing - even though at the time you feel you're going to go crazy with grief.

Again - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Take care
Sharon

Oh Donna I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you say about Buck being such an important part of your marriage. My Opie was the same. We focused all our attention on him, he was the main staple of our relationship. Now things are so different. But slowly, you do get into the new routine.
Buck is at peace now and with his brothers.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

In the words of James Taylor:

"I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought I'd see you again..."

"He took my heart and ran with it, and I hope he's running still, fast and strong, a piece of my heart bound up with his forever"
-- dog quote by Patricia McConnell, For The Love of A Dog

buck has a piece of your heart forever and he will never leave your side. may you find peace and be comforted thru these most difficult times!
patricia

Dear Donna

I went to bed with a heavy heart as I knew what you were about to go through. This morning I prepared myself for what I would read, but the tears are flowing for you all. Your dear Buck tried his hardest to stay with you all for as long as he could, but there's only so much that precious body of his could take. Bless him, remember he was happy and playing and having the best possible care and treatments, right up to the end. You gave him the chance by trying the fluids, but sadly it was time for him to move on. He will always be with you, along with your precious Frasier and Niles. They will have been there for him, to welcome him to the next phase of existence where they can play and watch over you and be healed from all pain and suffering.
Donna, I know right now nothing we can say will stop the pain and emptyness that you and your husband are feeling, but we are all here for you whenever you need us. I'm so pleased to see that you got the day off work and I will keep popping in to ' chat' to see if you feel you need to talk. If not I fully understand, but I'll be there just in case, time differences apart.
I send my prayers and hugs for you.

Thniking of you
Jan and my Angels and Pixie.xx

Angel Buck 6/7/2010
Donna
I am so sorry want you to know I am thinking of you and your husband at this difficult time. Wish I could be there
to give you both a big hug. Dennis mentioned to go to rainbow bridge to light a candle I want to post one here for
Buck. Please know we are all here for you and can feel your pain. We all here become part of each other and come to
know and love each others angels.

Hugs
xoxo
Anna and My Angels

Hi Donna,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you did all you could for Buck. He was a very lucky dog to have been adopted by you and your husband. You gave him such a wonderful life, with years of joy and fun (some dogs are not so lucky). I know how hard it it to lose the battle and to have gone through it three times in such a short period is very difficult. Your boys are reunited once again and are healthy and happy. They are in God's hands and there is no better place to be.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
Karen

Thank you everyone. I'm home alone. Well, Daphne & Sera are here but whatever. There's a huge black hole right around me. It's the hole that Buck left. Oh, how much I talked to him during the day. We would talk about his daddy and how much we love him. We would talk about how he shouldn't lick his elbows. I would apologize for not being as fun as his daddy. I would sew up some of his toys he'd ripped open. He would watch me do it as if that particular toy was his all time favorite. And just like a child, he'd play with it for all of 30 seconds after I was done and then move on. He would rub on the back of the couch just to make me mad.
We buried him with his golf ball and his stuffed soccer ball. I miss the sound of the squeeker in that ball. It was comforting to hear it from another room. I would know he was entertaining himself. He has a mound, and I do mean a mound, of toys. My husband would buy something everytime we were out if I would let him. We'd name each toy. Buck would remember the names until they ended up in the bottom of the basket. The basket is next to me at the computer. I don't plan to move anything today. You all know. Everything that stares at you and yells at you when you walk by - the food bowls, his blankets, his mat outside, his toys, his brush, his basket of supplies, his medicines, his whole life - staring at me. I don't feel like I have any muscles in my face. Like it's paralyzed in a sad look. My husband didn't sleep well. He didn't finish burying him until 10:30 last night. His t-shirt and jeans were completely drenched with sweat. He just threw them away. He wept when he got in bed. It's hard to see a man cry. I feel guilty that I'm off of work when he can't be. I wish I could take all the hurt away for him and put it on me. He buried his best friend. I just wish I could take it away.
I'm being hit by a wave at this moment. The loss, the incredible loss. Buck was perfect for us. The vet looked at him last night when he got here and said, "he's an increcible dog. It's too bad they don't live as long as we do because he's one of the ones you'd really want to." He was our son. He was our son. I know time will heal and memories will comfort but HE WAS OUR SON! It would've been so easy to lay down with him and go with him. My son.
I've gotta go.
-Donna

Oh Donna, my heart is breaking reading your story about your loss, especially reading about your husband doing the burial. My husband did the same thing with our lil' Zoe. I was in a complete daze while he was digging her spot, I think I was almost in denial, I couldn't believe that my Zoe was gone. We had just finished a relaxing evening walk, that she/we so much loved. I couldn't believe in a spilt second she was taken from me. I want you to know that everyone in these forums know the horrible pain and emptiness your are feeling right now. It's ok Donna, whatever you feel and however long you feel it, it's ok. Buck will live forever in your heart.
Take care of yourself.
You are not alone.
Deanna

Good for you, Donna, for being able to post here as soon after this "event" as you are. I did too--I didn't want to lost my thread of connection to these wonderful people.

It sounds as if you "set the stage" for the perfect passing for Buck. I know how painful that must have been for you, having just gone through it myself. I feel for your husband, who is obviously suffering as much as you are. And, of course, I feel deeply for you. Buck was one-of-a-kind, not just to you, but to your vet, and to all of us. I know that feeling of paralysis--I didn't feel it with Lady's passing, but I've felt it other times. It's a natural part of grieving, painful as it is.

I did laugh when you said that you told him not to lick his elbows--ever the good mom!

I wish I had more profound things to say to you, but they all sound like cliches sometimes. Buck is free of pain now--that is NOT a cliche. His poor body just gave out, finally, and you couldn't hold him here any longer, and were wise and compassionate enough to recognize that. You did a great service for Buck, and saved yourself from a passing that might have been incredibly difficult for all of you. I am so, so sorry.

Keep o posting as you are--it'll do you a world of good, believe me. I did the same, posted all evening and the day after Ladywolf died. It was the only way I could keep my sanity!

Big Hugs and much love to you--

Margi and the Spiritwolf

Donna
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you made it as comfortable as possible for him with the vet coming to the house (I did not know they would do that) and having some quality time with him beforehand. And you had the assurance from the blood work and his condition to know for sure that the time had come. I wish I had been that sure and had a better setting for my sweet kitty-I'll never know for sure. I hope that you can somehow take some comfort from Daphne and Sera. I know you have been so focused on Buck that it has been difficult with the new kitties and you are probably not ready but I'm sure they sense your sadness. Try to get some rest today and be good to yourself.

Oh Donna, I am so sad for you, I know how you fought for Buck every inch of the way, until you could do no more. May he rest in peace with his buddies xx

madi xx