I Miss My Baby. Does Anything Happen For A Reason?

Does anybody think that some things happen for a reason??? I miss my baby chihuahua Hendrix so much! I've never dealt with loss like this before and its so painful. I feel so much guilt and sadness. He was only almost 4 years old! While i was gone christmas shopping the other day I came back and there were messages on the phone from my little brother's best friends mother. She said to come over right away because they had Hendrix and he was not doing well. I didnt realize the message was a couple hours old and when we got o their home nobody was there. Later when they got home from church they said that they had been driving by when they saw a neighbor dog with something in its mouth, that looked like a rabbit, but it was realy my Hendrix. They told me this big dog acted as though it didnt know Hendrix was a real dog but a toy, because he is so fluffy and small. They said they got him away from the big dog and he was fine at first, that they couldnt find any puncture wounds, but when they went to take him home to my empty house Hendrix would not move and he looked frozen like in shock and his legs wouldnt work. They took him to their home and there he started having great trouble breathing. They thought he might have punctured a lung. He struggled for two or three hours before he died, and this was only about an hour before i got home! I wish so badly i hadnt gone shopping. i dont need clothes or stupid objects i just need my baby! My brother hadnt brought his phone either so they werent able to contact us. I was just wondering if anyone beleives that things happen for a reason because i cant deal with this guilt. I know that if i had been there this wuldnt of happened and he would have held on longer because he loves me so much and he wouldnt have been so scared if he was with someone he knew. I can imagine how scared and hurt he was i wasnt even there.

Im so depressed and everything i do reminds me of him. I have two other chihuahuas, Hendrix's son and the mama. and they seem so sad all the time too. I went to get Hendrix cremated and it was so hard to say goodbye to his body. Its realy hard for me to realize that he's not with his body anymore, hes somewhere better. I love hima nd miss him and i cant get out of the house now. He realy was like my baby, not like a pet. What can i do to feel better? I dont want to try and forget him because thats impossible and he will always be my baby but i need suggestions for helping me not feel like this it just hurts way too bad and im so tired of crying.