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Posted by: Deanna Jun 18 2008, 07:39 PM

HELLO PET LOVERS
I am new to this ~ I posted this story on the "new beginning" forum instead of the death & dying pet support forum.
Although, there were a few who noticed and helped me tremendously, especially, Goliath, Myhrtisbrkn, Sissycat & Jorge.
Thanks to you guys, I'm able to function another day, although my heart hurts ...I miss my lil' punkin' pie, Zoe.

I AM HURTING TO WHERE IT'S ALMOST UNBEARABLE. I NEED SOME SUPPORT ON HOW TO DEAL WITH MY LOSS.

I GREW UP WITH NO DESIRE TO HAVE A PET OF ANY KIND, HOWEVER, TWO YEARS AGO, A CO-WORKER OFFERED ME THE MOST ADORABLE WESTIE (PUPPY) THAT I HAD EVER SEEN. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I FELL COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THIS DOG (NAMED ZOE), I LOVED HER MORE THAN ANYONE IN MY LIFE ...SHE WAS MY SHADOW. SHE SLEPT WITH ME, WOKE UP WITH ME, WE PLAYED TOGETHER IN THE MORNINGS IN BETWEEN ME TRYING TO GET MYSELF READY FOR WORK, I LIVE CLOSE TO WORK, I'D COME HOME AND PLAY AND WE'D HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER ...I CAME HOME TO HER AFTER WORK SEEING HER JUMPING UP N' DOWN AT MY FRONT DOOR...ONCE I GOT IN...SHE JUMPED UP AND DOWN ON MY LEG UNTIL I PICKED HER UP (IN WHICH I DID ALMOST IMMEDIATELY), GAVE HER KISSES, RUBBING HER BACK AS SHE LICKED MY FACE. WE BOTH FELT THE LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER ALL DAY EVERY DAY. AFTER DINNER, SHE GAVE ME "THE LOOK" THAT IT WAS TIME FOR OUR EVENING WALK. AFTER OUR WALK WE WOULD COME HOME AND RELAX AND PLAY UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO GO TO BED TO WAKE UP TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I NEED TO MENTION, I HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS, THAT ADORED ZOE AS WELL, BUT NOTHING LIKE I DID. I WAS GUILTY OF GIVING ZOE MORE AFFECTION THAN TO THEM, BUT THEY UNDERSTOOD, THEY KNEW I WAS ATE UP WITH HER.

WELL, ON LAST THURSDAY (JUNE 12TH) OF ALL DAYS ...(MY BIRTHDAY)...ZOE AND I WERE HEADED INTO THE HOUSE AFTER OUR WALK, ( I ALWAYS UNCLIP HER LEASH ONCE WE'RE ON THE PORCH) ... MY NEIGHBOR HOLLORED AT ME THAT SHE NEEDED TO TALK. ZOE AND I WALKED OVER TO HER PORCH...ZOE ALWAYS WOULD STAY IN OUR YARD AND SHE WOULD FOLLOW ME IF I WALKED OVER TO MY NEIGHBOR ...HOWEVER, ZOE SPOTTED A SMALL RABBIT HOPPING IN THE NEXT YARD AND MADE A MAD DASH TO CATCH IT, RUNNING INTO THE STREET AND SHE GOT RUN OVER, SHE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY. I RAN OUT TO THE STREET, PICKED HER UP, LOOKING INTO HER FACE, SAYING HER NAME OVER AND OVER AND KISSING HER, PLEASE DON'T GO...BUT SHE WAS GONE. FROM THAT MOMENT, I CAN'T SLEEP, EAT, OR BARELY FUNCTION TO GO ON WITH MY NORMAL DAILY ROUTINE. MY FAMILY THINKS I SHOULD BE OVER THE DEVASTATION BUT THE ACCIDENT RUNS THROUGH MY MIND A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. I HAVE ACCEPTED SHES PASSED, WE BURIED HER IN THE BACK YARD, I HAVE HER A BEAUTIFUL MEMORIAL STONE AND FLOWERS WITH HER PICTURE. I LOOK OUT MY WINDOWS OF MY HOUSE AND SEE HER BURIAL SPOT AND IT JUST KILLS ME. SHE WAS SO SPECIAL IN MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER ZOE. I MISS HER SOOOOO MUCH, I AM CONTINUOUSLY LOOKING FOR HER TO COME AROUND THE CORNER OF ANY ROOM. PULLING UP IN MY DRIVEWAY FROM WORK IS THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST THING NOT SEEING HER ADORABLE LITTLE FACE AT THE DOOR.

I FOUND THIS WEBSITE TO POSSIBLY GET SOME SUPPORT, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY.
THANKS IN ADVANCE

Posted by: myhrtisbrkn Jun 18 2008, 07:50 PM

Deanna,

She was just a doll. Who could not love a face like that. I'm glad to hear you are doing a little better. As Judy said in another thread (paraphrasing), we take our baby steps forward, and we're allowed to take one backwards, from time to time.

Thinking of you,
Dayna

Posted by: goliath Jun 18 2008, 08:04 PM

Welcome to the family Deanna. Though you found us through having suffered a loss of such a precious love, I am glad you are here to heal right along with us.

Your Zoe's death is still so brand new to you and it will take alot of time and tears before you begin to feel just a little bit better.

When Goliath passed away so suddenly and unexpectedly I became crippled and lost all desire to live. I couldn't even imagine living without him. My world was completey turned upside down and nothing seemed right. Over time I realized his loving spirit would never leave me though his body had persihed. Because of him and the lessons of love he taught me I became a better me. Though I miss him each and every day, my life is good again. Each day is an opportunity for me to share Goliath's love with all those around me wherever I go. I will love him til the day after forever.

One day you too will feel Zoe's love and the happy memories she left for you. These are her gifts she left just for you when she passed away that are stored in your heart. This kind of bound love can never be shaken and lasts til the end of eternity.

Tell us stories about Zoe, bring more pictures and share her love and what she taught you. The journey of healing is long. But you will find inspiration and a hope which leads to happiness. Reach inside yourself and you will find Zoe is very much alive and well.....She will always be with you.

Much love wrapped with warm hugs Deanna,
Beth

Posted by: sissycat Jun 18 2008, 11:10 PM

Oh Zoe has such a sweet face. Just beautiful.
Glad you contiue to post here. It really has helped me. Even if it is a few words to Zoe. It just takes time and no one can make you rush the grieving process. I know if hurts so badly. You'll think you just can't go on another day, but you somehow manage to. Everyday is a day closer to seeing your loved one once again. You just have to keep remembering her sweet face and all of the great memories she gave you. When you are ready share some stories or more pictures. Would be glad to listen to them.
It WILL GET BETTER!!!!!

Posted by: kendrasmommy Jun 19 2008, 12:03 AM

oh i am so sorry,when it comes to accidents and something dies i think its because god needs them for some reason,your hurt shows how much you cared.may god be with you,and bless little zoe,you both will be in my prayers.

Posted by: CottonsMom Jun 19 2008, 10:31 AM

It was really hard to read your post, through my own tears. The description of the love you shared with your dog is so similar to my dog, that I lost yesterday. Words can't even begin to describe it.

I just thought I'd offer you a cyber hug, and tell you how sorry I am for your loss. May we all heal in time.

Posted by: Candy's Dad Jun 19 2008, 12:24 PM

Zoe looks so sweet. I'm deeply sorry for your lost. My dog Candy is going through cancer at the moment, but her sister Pepper was struck by a car 7 years ago and it was a heart wrenching loss. But now, years later, though I still miss her terribly, time does heal wounds and now I think of just the pleasant memories.

My deepest condolences for your lost.

Posted by: RhiRy Jun 19 2008, 02:25 PM

I am so sorry for your loss - Zoe looks and sounds like an absolute sweetheart. Please don't listen to people telling you you should be getting over it - I have people doing the same thing to me, they simply don't understand.

My thoughts are with you x

Posted by: havana Jun 19 2008, 03:09 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 18 2008, 07:39 PM)

Posted by: zoodoctoo Jun 20 2008, 12:25 AM

My condolences in your loss of Zoe. I know how painful it is to lose a pet since I just lost Raygan last Friday. But I had weeks to "prepare". Your loss was so sudden and tragic. Don't let anyone minimize your grief for your beloved pet!! Pet loss is painful and real. I think I've grieved as much or more for my pets that than I have for humans. Dogs love us and like us no matter what and that is a gift more precious than gold. They never say that our shoes are ugly or that our cooking stinks or that our socks are unmatched because they don't care about the superficial stuff!

I hope that each day gets a little easier for you.

Hugs, Alice

Posted by: AngelCareOne Jun 20 2008, 03:23 AM

Posted by: LoveThem Jun 20 2008, 08:26 PM

That picture of Zoe certainly shows just how adorable she is and will always be. I am so sorry to read about the accident. For some reason, it was Zoe's time to go and if that is not true then the accident would not have happened. That's the reasoning I use to help me understand such things. So I don't have to torture myself did I make the right FINAL decision? Understanding that things are taken out of our control for a reason we do not know..has helped me cope with more than one loss in my lifetime.

It is devastating pain you feel and it will take time for that pain to not be so overwhelming. We all feel the same intense pain on our loss and that is why we understand exactly how you feel and also why we can truthfully tell you...you are not alone in what you feel...
we are there or have been there and some are going again....that's the price asked of us when we accept these babies and their unconditional love in our lives.

Whatever the time is we are with them, it is never long enough..for them or for us..but none of us makes that final decision that changes our lives forever. All we can do is love them and treasure them while we can and pray their time does not come soon.

Accidents happen so quickly...it is like a double pain..twice the devastation..but we have no choice but to accept when it is their time to leave..no matter how much we hate it...we hate them being taken away. They are a part of us and their love and memories will be with us forever...only the physical can be taken from us..and that, indeed, hurts so very very much.

We combat that hurt by forcing ourselves to remember the fun and happy times...the times our sweethearts would want us to remember because they would never want us to be sad about anything.

It may help to post more pictures, tell some good memory stories about Zoe, and one thing many have found helpful is just to post here a letter or note to Zoe...telling her your feelings and thoughts...after all, she is that angel now sitting on your shoulder and she is listening very intently to whatever you say.

Take care...I wish you peace and healing....and...it really does take time and we do have to work away the pain the best we can.
What makes you feel good to do or say is the right thing. There are no time limits. And the people who truly understand have no judgments.

I would love to see more pictures of Zoe.

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 04:54 PM

QUOTE (kendrasmommy @ Jun 19 2008, 01:03 AM)

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 05:06 PM

QUOTE (LoveThem @ Jun 20 2008, 09:26 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 05:09 PM

QUOTE (AngelCareOne @ Jun 20 2008, 04:23 AM)

{{{{{{{Deanna}}}}}}}

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

Tight Hugs and Much Love, Dear One!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 05:16 PM

QUOTE (zoodoctoo @ Jun 20 2008, 01:25 AM)

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 05:21 PM

QUOTE (Candy's Dad @ Jun 19 2008, 01:24 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 05:23 PM

QUOTE (RhiRy @ Jun 19 2008, 03:25 PM)

Posted by: AngelCareOne Jun 22 2008, 07:15 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 22 2008, 05:09 PM)

See? There she is. Right by your side showering you with kisses, Deanna! And she will never, never, ever leave you. She loves you so much and knows how much you love her.

Many Tight Hugs and Much Love to You and Your Fur Child Zoe.

Posted by: LuvLabs Jun 22 2008, 07:19 PM

Deanna, I am so sorry to read of your loss of your sweet girl Zoe. You found a wonderful place full of animal lovers here. As you read the stories here, you will see that we all shared a special bond with our babies. We know the unconditional love that these furry creatures give us. We are all so fortunate to have shared such wonderful memories with our babies. Unfortunately, we also share the pain of losing them. Some of us have lost our loved ones to illness, others like yourself through accidents.

I know you are thinking of Zoe and missing her so. Only time can ease the pain you are feeling. Grief is a process and is filled with ups and downs. But I hope that you will soon feel at peace with your loss. And I hope that we can offer you comfort and hope during this difficult time. Take care, Nancy

Posted by: AngelCareOne Jun 22 2008, 07:35 PM

Sweet Deanna, here is a "Blessing" lullaby that my Alex loved so much. To me, it's just about the most beautiful song I've ever heard. I hope and pray that you and your Fur Child Zoe will enjoy it, too.

Please click on the glittering Angel Lady to hear her sing the Blessing song for you and Zoe. Okay? Hugs!

Posted by: Deanna Jun 22 2008, 08:56 PM

QUOTE (AngelCareOne @ Jun 22 2008, 08:15 PM)

Dearest Deanna, I had that feeling from all you've told about your precious Fur Child Zoe. You're so very welcome and it makes my heart soar knowing that my message to you brought some small comfort, Dear One.

Guess what else I know? Not only did Zoe not die, but also she is with you at this very moment. Right by your side and just a breath away. Deanna, a breath away is not far at all to where Zoe is. Shhh ... Be very still and you will feel and hear her whispers to you. Zoe is that very close by indeed.

Click on Zoe's photograph to view and listen. Then you will know all I say is true, Dearest Deanna.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BUfTlEoVqbE

"To Where You Are"

Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear.
Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are mine. Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above!

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile!
If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen.
As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above.
And I believe that Angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star! I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are!

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!

See? There she is. Right by your side showering you with kisses, Deanna! And she will never, never, ever leave you. She loves you so much and knows how much you love her.

Many Tight Hugs and Much Love to You and Your Fur Child Zoe.

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

Posted by: AngelCareOne Jun 22 2008, 09:16 PM

I Love You Deanna and your precious Fur Child Zoe too, of course!

Hey, I do believe that's Zoe peeking around from behind the bush at the right and smiling at you from The Rainbow Bridge. See?

Posted by: Deanna Jun 25 2008, 06:21 PM

I love and miss you so much Zoe.
You're still mama's lil' punkin pie.
I would give anything to have you in my arms again!
Mama

Posted by: LoveThem Jun 25 2008, 07:34 PM

I love your picture and can certainly understand how you miss this adorable sweetheart so very much. Zoe looks very very huggable.
Pictures are so precious. We don't always realize when we take them...how very much they will mean someday...and they do.

Pictures and memories....as we remember the good memories associated with the pictures, at least for that moment we can feel good inside....reliving as best we can that time.

We do love them forever and miss them forever and hold them in our hearts forever.

All we can do for each other is simply.....a hug...so here is a bunch of them for you.

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG..................and so on to fill the page......cause we can never get enough hugs.

Hugs that say I know how you feel. I miss my baby also.

Posted by: Deanna Jun 25 2008, 09:33 PM

Thank you for the kind words Lovethem.
Zoe was very huggable. I hugged and kissed her constantly. My husband and two children were always like...."hello?", however, they understood ... my kids are big and are out of the huggable stage (18 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son) who thinks getting hugs and kisses from mom ..is not cool. I guess that's why I was all over Zoe so much. My husband said Zoe was my baby ...that it was her that I was nourturing, since our kids were older. I guess that was true. I do feel I've lost "my baby". My heart hurts for her loss. I am trying so hard to focus on our good times together, rather than her death, but the pain and hurt is still winning right now. It may sound crazy, but I started a journal today "To Zoe". I have poured my heart out in this journal and I can't seem to stop writing. I think it is helping ....it is allowing me to express my thoughts, some have been happy that made me smile, some ...I cried, and cried hard. Ewww ~ weeee ... I am trying so hard to stay strong, it's been 13 days since I've lost her and it seems like it just happened today.
Thanks to everyone on this site for your support.
It is something I look forward to when I come home in the evening.
Much Love
Deanna

****Zoe napping in one of her favorite spots, on top on my recliner. (I always covered her up with her blanket.) **

Posted by: myhrtisbrkn Jun 25 2008, 11:20 PM

Deanna,

Those pictures are just priceless, sleeping on top of your recliner...isn't she sweet. They bring tears to my eyes. It sounds like you have a great family, and Zoe was an important part of it. These little furred ones are so dependent on us, more so than all but the youngest of human kids. And they are so uncomplaining. They are our babies and they remain that all their lives.

Journaling is good. It gives those thoughts, the happy ones and the sad ones, a shape ,and a place to be wher we can set them aside when we need to and come back to them later.

That " it just happened today feeling" comes and goes. Just the other day I really looked at a picture of Mack I'd had stuffed in a book. His beauty was so vivid, his absence so profound...I could smell the candles that were burning that evening when he died in my arms. That was my last moment with my boy...until we meet again.

You continue in my thoughts and prayers,
Dayna

Posted by: Deanna Jun 26 2008, 06:32 AM

QUOTE (myhrtisbrkn @ Jun 26 2008, 12:20 AM)

Posted by: Candy's Dad Jun 26 2008, 09:20 AM

What a sweet picture. She is such a cutie pie and looks very smart too.

In all my sadness, I'm grateful that you guys do share your stories and pictures of your babies. It does make me smile and remember great memories from my Candy and not feel as sad.

Thank you so much and I'm hope you are hanging in there.


Candy's Dad

Posted by: LoveThem Jun 26 2008, 12:20 PM

Okay..that picture napping on the picture got to me....can anyone look more precious than that?
I don't think so.

I think your idea of a journal is great! What a wonderful outlet..at a time it is so needed.

You really do have some great pictures of Zoe and even though all of us who have also lost our sweethearts can truly understand the pain, the grieving, the missing, all of it....when you post a picture of Zoe and we can look into those beautiful eyes that are definitely focused on the picture taker .....we can actually see what you are remembering about her....and just how very very special she is and always will be.

Hugs to you and Zoe. She may be an angel now but even angels need hugs, don't they?

Posted by: Deanna Jun 26 2008, 02:02 PM

QUOTE (Candy's Dad @ Jun 26 2008, 10:20 AM)

Posted by: Deanna Jun 26 2008, 02:53 PM

QUOTE (LoveThem @ Jun 26 2008, 01:20 PM)

Okay..that picture napping on the picture got to me....can anyone look more precious than that?
I don't think so.

I think your idea of a journal is great! What a wonderful outlet..at a time it is so needed.

You really do have some great pictures of Zoe and even though all of us who have also lost our sweethearts can truly understand the pain, the grieving, the missing, all of it....when you post a picture of Zoe and we can look into those beautiful eyes that are definitely focused on the picture taker .....we can actually see what you are remembering about her....and just how very very special she is and always will be.

Hugs to you and Zoe. She may be an angel now but even angels need hugs, don't they?

Posted by: AngelCareOne Jun 26 2008, 03:25 PM

{{{{{{{Deanna}}}}}}} Such a Beautiful, Loving photo of you and your fur child Zoe. I just had to frame it really fancy and thought you might like to save it to your files.

Well, Zoe saw you and had to say something. I caught Zoe's words and this is what se's telling you as she sends lots of Hugs and Kisses!

Awww Deanna, I can sure see why you miss her so and I hope and pray that you know in your heart that she is right there with you and will never leave, Dear One. So much Love!

Posted by: goliath Jun 26 2008, 06:00 PM

Your pictures of Zoe are absolutely angelic. I especially love the one where she is napping on the couch. These are the sweet memories they leave us when they pass on.

Journaling is such great therapy too. When Goliath & Gidget were just puppies I started a scrapbook entitled "For the Love of Goliath & Gidget." The reason I started it was because I knew one day they would leave me to go to Heaven. In each picture I added what it was that was going on during that special time. When Goliath passed away this last November, I was soooooooo glad that I had d o c u m e n t e d his life along with pictures in a love that could never end. I still keep a journal because it helps me to really get all of my feelings out.

Zoe's love and fond memories will forever be in your heart. These are her gifts to you Deanna.

Much love with many warm hugs,
Beth

Posted by: Deanna Jun 26 2008, 06:39 PM

QUOTE (AngelCareOne @ Jun 26 2008, 04:25 PM)

{{{{{{{Deanna}}}}}}} Such a Beautiful, Loving photo of you and your fur child Zoe. I just had to frame it really fancy and thought you might like to save it to your files.

Well, Zoe saw you and had to say something. I caught Zoe's words and this is what se's telling you as she sends lots of Hugs and Kisses!

Then Zoe got really excited! She had to say it again and jumped right out of the picture frame!

Awww Deanna, I can sure see why you miss her so and I hope and pray that you know in your heart that she is right there with you and will never leave, Dear One. So much Love!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

PS. Be sure to click on the "black size caption lines" above the photos. HUGS!!!

Posted by: Deanna Jun 26 2008, 07:20 PM

QUOTE (goliath @ Jun 26 2008, 07:00 PM)

Your pictures of Zoe are absolutely angelic. I especially love the one where she is napping on the couch. These are the sweet memories they leave us when they pass on.

Journaling is such great therapy too. When Goliath & Gidget were just puppies I started a scrapbook entitled "For the Love of Goliath & Gidget." The reason I started it was because I knew one day they would leave me to go to Heaven. In each picture I added what it was that was going on during that special time. When Goliath passed away this last November, I was soooooooo glad that I had do%%ented his life along with pictures in a love that could never end. I still keep a journal because it helps me to really get all of my feelings out.

Zoe's love and fond memories will forever be in your heart. These are her gifts to you Deanna.

Much love with many warm hugs,
Beth

Posted by: goliath Jun 26 2008, 08:21 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 26 2008, 08:20 PM)

Posted by: LoveThem Jun 27 2008, 02:24 PM

Deanna

Never worry about replying too much in your own topic...that is what it is for...for your thoughts and feelings, for replying to friends who have stopped by, for writing a note to Zoe, in other
words, to do all the things that make you feel better. Don't worry about posting to others, we all know we are in pain and there is nothing "expected" to do here, except be yourself and do what you need to do to help heal yourself.

When we have something good to post..whether in our topic or another's...it makes those who read it feel better themselves inside. We need to hear good news whenever it is possible...and it is good news when someone says they feel better for finding this forum or something someone said helped them. We all like to read these positive things. It helps us all heal.

Take care and keeping posting in that journal and also posting here.

Hugs

Posted by: Deanna Jun 29 2008, 02:51 AM

Hey Punkin' Pie (Zoe),
Here it is, 3:30 in the morning, I have no idea why I am up, however, the second my eyes opened, you were on my mind. I know in my heart, that if you were here with me, you would have just ...nudged me with your lil wet cold nose ... tried to get alil' closer ... flipped over on your back, (let out a sigh), then at that point, I would have then rubbed your belly, until I fell back to sleep. I really miss cuddling with you. Daddy said he misses your feet being pushed against his back. haha He's having a hard time with you being gone too, we all are. We talk about you daily, we talk alot about the gift you left us. The amount of love and joy that you brought in our lives. I never knew this type until I met you. The unconditional love you had for all of us, was out of this world.

Daddy and I had a few friends over for a cookout tonight and for good part of the evening ...the topic was all about you. Several different stories and memories were told of the many silly things you had done, as well as, the love they remember you giving them. Travis took a nap (as always) and he mentioned, although he is allergic to dogs, he would still not be able to turn you away when you wanted to nap with him. He said you were so sweet and lovable. Many of the stories made us all laugh, and of course, made me cry in between. However, my friends are telling me, this is what I need to do, to ease the pain. I guess I could say, it did make me feel better by the end of the night, however, I guess with all the talk and conversations about you, you're on my mind pretty heavy.

I will always love and miss you until the day after forever.
You will remain forever in my heart.
Hugs n' Kisses
Mama

Posted by: goliath Jun 29 2008, 07:12 AM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 29 2008, 03:51 AM)

Posted by: Deanna Jun 29 2008, 10:57 AM

QUOTE (goliath @ Jun 29 2008, 08:12 AM)

You have been blessed in having wonderful friends who you can share your grief and joys with. I too am blessed in having those kind of special loving people in my life. Good friends do help ease our pain and promote healing when we all talk about how we feel and share the sweet and happy memories together. It sounds like your friends loved Zoe very much.

I loved hearing about Travis and how he couldn't resist Zoe, even though he is allergic to dogs. My sister is very allergic to many animals, including dogs, and can never resist holding and talking to my little furbabies. Though I only get to see my sister once or twice a year, not a one of my babies ever forget her. She is always greeted with lots of lovin'.

You said, "I will always love and miss you until the day after forever." That sentence touches me so deeply and brings tears to my eyes this morning. From the day I met Goliath until this very day............I have said a thousand times over "I will love you til the day after forever." He remains in my heart, my forever best friend. These very words, which I keep so close to my heart, are also contained in my Heartfelt Letter To Goliath posted in this section of the forum. When I read my letter written in a poem, it reminds me that one day he and I will be together again some day.

You and Zoe will also be together again some day in a place where love lives never ends.

Have a wonderful day Deanna. I wish you sunshine and laughter in whatever you and your family do together.

Much love with lots of hugs,
Beth

Posted by: goliath Jun 29 2008, 12:57 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 29 2008, 11:57 AM)

Yes, I love that phrase "I'll love you until the day after forever" I am assuming had read the phrase in one of you forums. Didn't mean to copy, but, you're right ...forever isn't long enough. I am holding on tight the thought of being with her again some day.

Posted by: Deanna Jun 29 2008, 08:31 PM

QUOTE (goliath @ Jun 26 2008, 09:21 PM)

If and when you decide to bring a new addition into your family you will know. Somehow I can't imagine your heart not ever loving another furbaby again. People like us are destined to love these special loving creatures who teach us so much.
Your heart Deanna is more than full because Zoe is there. When two loving hearts become one they can never separate, not even in death. Sharing that love assures Zoe's memories will always bring sunshine into your life. Without Zoe's death you would never have had the pleasure of knowing her nor would you have learned the lessons of love and learning she brought you as your gift.

A dear friend of mine recently gave me the book, ANGEL DOGS by Allen & Linda Anderson. Each night I read a chapter or two while Browser lays on my chest just before going to sleep. The stories are so comforting and filled with heart healing messages. Each story is only 2 or 3 pages long but they are packed with emotional healing verses of gratitude and experiences of those who truly love their dogs. Basically the book focuses on the important lessons we can learn from our doggieloves and how they lead us spiritually. This book will take you on an amazing journey Deanna and I hope you will read it.

May God bless you always and shower you with Zoe's love.


Many warm hugs filled with love,
Beth

Posted by: Deanna Jul 2 2008, 07:58 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 29 2008, 09:31 PM)

Posted by: goliath Jul 2 2008, 11:30 PM

I have finished "Angel Dogs" now. My words cannot begin to express just how much my spirit has grown because I took the time to read it. I wish the same for you!

I am now reading "GOD'S MESSENGERS" What Animals Teach Us about the Divine. The more I read and allow myself to feel, I am filled with peace. This too I wish for you Deanna.

Much love and many hugs from my heart to yours,
Beth

Posted by: myhrtisbrkn Jul 3 2008, 03:59 PM

Deanna,

I've been thinking about you and Zoe. I have a sick kitty so I'm having trouble finding much time to post.


Love to you and your sweet family,
Dayna

Posted by: Deanna Jul 4 2008, 09:34 AM

QUOTE (myhrtisbrkn @ Jul 3 2008, 04:59 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Jul 7 2008, 06:10 AM

It was another long sad weekend without you Zoe.
I miss you terribly.
I am holding your spirit in my heart to go on.
Love you more than anything.
Mama

Posted by: Candy's Dad Jul 7 2008, 10:57 AM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jul 7 2008, 06:10 AM)

Posted by: Deanna Jul 7 2008, 01:16 PM

Hey Candy'sDad,
Thanks so much for your reply. You guys help me so much, there are many of you, and you know who you are. I know there are several of us who are going dealing with our grief of losing our babies on or about the same week. I realize my baby is gone, I want so bad to think about the great times we had together and smile about the two wonderful years we had together, but I am having a REALLY HARD TIME. I miss her so much. I may have mentioned this is another forum, but I am "normally" a very high spirited, smile, laugh all day kind of person. However, with losing Zoe ...I have never had anything like this grab a hold of me and bring me down like this. I am doing good to get up and go to work, come home and make sure my kids are taken care of, try to find something to occupy my mind during the evening, (take a sleep aid) and go to bed. (This may sound horrible to some, but I lost my father two years ago, and I didn't grieve like this, nothing near .... like I currently am for Zoe. That little girl meant so much to me. I have such an empty hole in my heart.

How are you doing? How'd your 4th of July weekend go? Still thinking about adopting another precious baby? I throw the idea back n' forth ...I don't know if it's the right thing to do right now?

I can't thank you enough ~ I really can't.
Take care and keep in touch.
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Jul 13 2008, 10:53 AM

My lil' punkin' pie, Zoe,
It was a month yesterday, that I lost you to a tragic accident. You are missed more than you'll ever know. I shed a tear everyday that's you're gone. I think about you ...all day ....everyday. It's so hard to accept that you're gone. I want so bad to hold you and love on you ~ and I will....someday. I know every day that passes is another day closer to seeing and being with you.

A GIFT FOR SUCH A LITTLE WHILE
YOU'RE LOSS JUST SEEMED SO WRONG,
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE LEFT ME,
IT'S WITH ME...IS WHERE YOU BELONG.
MAMA

~Zoe - Forever In My Heart ~

Posted by: Deanna Jul 16 2008, 07:11 AM

I miss you Zoe.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Jul 25 2008, 04:04 PM

Hello Everyone,
Sorry I haven't been expressing myself my thoughts and feelings here on the LS site very often, although, I do visit quite regularly, and view how you are all doing, but at times, I'm really not quite sure what to say. I'm afriad, everytime I would reply or comment, I would be saying the same things over and over and I don't want to sound like a broken record. It's been six weeks, since Zoe's tragic accident and I'm still grieving terribly. Tears still come easily when I talk about her or when I just sit quietly and think about her. I miss her so much. I want nothing more than to have her in my arms again and to cover her with kisses, however, I know that's not possible. I still take it one day at a time, some are better than others, but for the most part, I'm just trying to cope and to try my best to make it through another day. To help myself, I write in a journal I bought ...and it's all written to Zoe. I've cried my way through it, with a snicker in between, every now and again. I am also making a scrapbook on her as well. It keeps me quite occupied in the evenings, after everything has settled. I keep telling myself, while I am working on it .... that I would much rather be out taking a walk with Zoe, rather than glueing pictures of her in a book. I've cried through it as well. I am taking all of this as a part of healing process?!

I would like to take a minute and say THANKS to each and everyone of you who may have commented on my thread. It means to much to me. I can honestly say, this is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my 42 years of my life. Zoe was my first puppy love. It was all about her and I together, no matter what was going on in the world, and I miss it.
Again, thanks to all,
Hope everyone is hanging in there
Lots of love and hugs
Sincerely,
Deanna

Posted by: LoveThem Jul 25 2008, 04:43 PM

You will never forget Zoe and you will never replace her..because that is always impossible to do. But you might think about getting a puppy ...maybe you will see one that reminds you of Zoe.

I adopted a boy kitty that reminded me of my Little Guy and when I see him lie down by a window....I sometimes feel as though for a second...it is my Little Guy lying there...that thought makes me smile. I will never have him back but I like the distraction of one who reminds me of him for that's as close as I can get physically to "having" him back.

I needed this distraction because I could not tolerate anymore an empty home. I knew there were furbabies out there needing someone to hold them and I wanted to hold one again, to talk to them and have them talk back.

I realized after crying and grieving over and over that it didn't make me feel better....I needed to do something else. All my grieving does not bring my Little Guy back. All it does is use up time but when I thought about the fact that even time was not making me feel better...I decided on the distraction of getting another. And they are distracting...they do add to your life...they can't help it cause they live in the moment and kind of force us to live in the moment too.

I guess what is best of all....they make you feel "alive" again......instead of "dead" inside.

That doesn't mean we will ever forget the ones we lost...not ever. and we still will miss them everyday because they are and will always be a part of us. I still write notes here to my Little Guy. I have his pictures and his siblings pictures in every room I walk into so I look into their eyes. I can touch their face in the picture. I can say Hello to the picture.

But that little bundle of fur racing from one end of my home to the other...the new boy I named Lucky....well..him I can pick up and hug that furry body and it feels good to do that. He needed a home and I needed him. The loneliness still comes but it is not everyday anymore and not devastating unless I let it.

Yes, taking it all one day at a time is the best way to get through each day while we wait for time to pass and the pain to become bearable. After a while I needed help to do that.

Take care..Hugs to you and Zoe. She is truly precious and anything you feel like doing that makes you feel better..is the
right thing for you to do.

Posted by: Deanna Jul 27 2008, 09:40 PM

Lovethem,
Thank you for your reply. It is good to hear from you.

As much as I am grieving for the loss of Zoe. Your suggestion of getting a new puppy has just recently crossed my mind. The emptiness of my home without a fur baby is so sad and quiet. I feel it intensifies my grieving. I miss the love and joy that Zoe and I had together. I was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. Zoe was my first puppy love at 40 years old! It was heaven on earth when I was with Zoe. I miss her soooo much.

When I do think about getting a new puppy. I fear I will compare it to Zoe and I will be dissappointed. I do have to come to the realization that no matter what puppy I get. There will never being another Zoe. They all have their own love and personality. I am searching for the one to make me feel alive again.

Again, thanks Lovethem
You have been a tremendous help to me!
Take care and keep in touch,
Your friend,
Deanna



******I WILL FOREVER LOVE AND MISS YOU ZOE*********

Posted by: Steph Jul 27 2008, 09:59 PM

Gosh that was a cute dog! I just read about how she died and burst out crying.
I had to put my beautiful golden to sleep two days ago, and am just a wreck. I keep seeing his last moments over and over and over again.
Four years ago I lost my border collie to sudden death due to illness, so I've been through long drawn out suffering illness, and a sudden death in which a pet was ripped away without a chance to say goodbye. It is so devastating.

This site was a big help four years ago, and I think it will help me again now.

Posted by: Deanna Jul 28 2008, 01:13 PM

Steph
Thank you ~ Thank you ~ I thought she was cute too!
She brought such an enourmous amount of happiness in my life ~ the pain of losing her has been beyond devastating. It's been really hard to get back to the real world and act like a half-way happy person.

I'm sorry my story of losing Zoe upset you. It was such a horrible tragedy how I lost her, and of all days ~ my birthday?! I know, losing her on any other day would have been just as horrible, but I will... forever ... never want to celebrate my birthday again.

This site has helped me tremendously ~ I really don't know what I would have done without it.
Again, thank you for your kind words.
Hang in there ~
Deanna

Posted by: Steph Jul 28 2008, 11:23 PM

Hi Deanna, don't apologize for upsetting me with the story of how you lost Zoe - that's what this site is for - to share our stories.
Thanks for taking the time to see what my Falkor looked like. He truly had a heart of gold. He was so gentle.

Posted by: Deanna Aug 5 2008, 08:18 PM

Hi Zoe ~ It's mama
I still think about you every waking moment. I miss you terribly. I try so hard to have happy thoughts of you and of the times we were together, however, the sadness of you being physically gone overwhelms me throughout every day. I am consumed with thinking about your accident and how you were taken away from me way too soon. You were such a wonderful, healthy, and VERY HAPPY puppy in my eyes .... with so much more to give and receive. There was so much we didn't get to do together for the short two years we were together ... and the things we had done and enjoyed, I wanted to do it over and over and over again. Like taking our long walks though the neighborhood, being silly, playing around the house and in the yard, letting me rub your belly and scratch behind your ears, giving you warm baths and blow drying and brushing your hair, giving you treats and chew bones that you enjoyed and deserved, sharing the recliner while watching TV and sharing a pillow and snuggling closely thoughout the night together. Not to mention covering you with hugs and kisses when we did all this ~ ~ just so we could get up and do it all over again.
I miss you .... Dear God ... I miss you.
I am lost without you.
Although your gone, you're cetainly not forgotten and never will be.
You are forever in my heart and everyday that passes means I am one day closer to being reunited with you again.
I love and miss you Zoe.
You'll always be mama's lil' punkin pie.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Aug 7 2008, 11:56 AM

I miss you today ~ the sunshine is so bright. I know in my heart, if you were here with my now, you'd be taking a nap in the sun.
Love you Zoe.
Mama

Posted by: LoveThem Aug 7 2008, 12:14 PM

Oh, Deanna

That last picture of Zoe is so adorable. And....your baby has that "listening" pose. So you know every word you set down here is heard by a very very pretty Angel who is a part of you and will be forever.

Hugs to you and Zoe

Posted by: Deanna Aug 7 2008, 10:26 PM

Awwww......Lovethem ~Thank you
~ As I talk and write to her, I do hope she can hear and see every word. It's coming straight from my heart.
Good to hear from you, hope things are going ok for you. I am taking it one day at a time to heal from losing my adorable angel, Zoe.
You take care, I can't thank you enough for your kind words.
Cyber Hug
Deanna

Posted by: oliver's mama Aug 8 2008, 01:43 AM

Hi Deanna,

Wow those pictures are cute! Her coat is all shimmery and silver. She looks like one of my best friend's dogs, whom I personally adore. I just wanted to say you shouldn't feel like a broken record. If you want to say things every day over and over, you should. No one here minds, I know that I have left notes for Oliver and others here have used their threads to say a few quick words to their babies too, almost like a journal. We have to deal enough with censoring it with others, this place is a haven from that so literally post until your heart's content.

Posted by: Deanna Aug 9 2008, 11:29 PM

Oliver's Mama,
Thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, I kept Zoe pretty clean ....I'd let her run and play and dig in the backyard and she'd get so dirty sometimes, however, she knew, mama would clean her up and make her silky and shiny again. I loved her so much...clean or dirty. (ha)
Again, thanks. Your support, as well as, many others, on this website has been Godsend.
With much appreciation,
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Aug 9 2008, 11:39 PM

Hi Zoe
You've been on my mind heavily the past couple of days. I received your doggie license renewal notice in the mail and it upset me terribly. I returned it along with a letter explaining to the Metro Animal Services department that I had lost you in a tragic accident, and that you were waiting for me at the Heavenly Gates and that you didn't need a license anymore, due to the fact that God doesn't require them. haha
I miss you sweetheart.
Love you more than life right now.....
Mama

Posted by: LoveThem Aug 10 2008, 02:02 PM

Hi, Deanna

Those little "surprises" in the mail are something we don't think about and don't need to see....it is more heartbreak
when they show up.

But I did like your answer....someone at that office must have felt badly reading it. But to them it is just business.

When I look at Zoe, and my Little Guy and his siblings, and so many beautiful babies here....ooh do I wish I could wave a magic wand and say....."we want them back..healthy, happy, for many more years...and we want them back NOW."
And everyone here was reunited with their special ones.

How's that for a fantasy?

When I lost Little Guy's sister in 2006...when my husband stopped at the vets to buy some Laxatone for my Little Guy..the last baby left...the sheet the vet would print up had his sister's name on it so one day I called and asked them to please change that as she was deceased and it hurt to see her name printed on a current receipt...just another reminder that she is gone.
They did that for me but yeah...when you see their name unexpectedly...it's like..why doesn't everyone know my baby is gone...I know..why don't they?

Hugs, Deanna

Your answer to their unfeeling computer was just perfect.

Judy

Posted by: Deanna Aug 10 2008, 03:42 PM

Judy,
Hi Dear ~
As always, it is so good to hear from you.
Yes, that little surprise I received in the mail... it just about dropped me to my knees, right in the middle of my yard when I opened and began reading it about her license renewal. They were kind of mean stating I was deliquent and they were going to charge me additional fees, etc. In addition, to opening my wound of losing Zoe, it really upset me that the letter was worded so mean. Zoe's license renewal was always handled at her vet's office, so I hadn't received anything like this before. Although, my husband mentioned there was another surprise that came from the vet's office about her renewal shots. This was without my knowing....he took it upon himself to call the vet's office to inform them of Zoe's accident and that they could discard her records.... (sigh...). When I received the notice, it upset me so bad ...I came in and just threw it garbage. Although, I begin to think about it long and hard, so I decided to get it back out of the garbage to read it fully (I wasn't able to do so, when I first opened it). Anyway....at the bottom of the notice, it had a place or a box that you could just "check" stating you no longer own the dog. I could not bring myself to "just check a box" to let them know she was no longer with me. Hello people? Zoe's gone! How dare you send this to me! That's when I came up with the idea of writing a letter to let them know this precious furry soul no longer needed the license, that God didn't require them. My husband loved it ....he said be sure and mail that ...I told him I had planned on it....and I did. (Those people are probably going to think I'm physco, but I don't care). I'm trying to letting the world know she's gone and that she's missed terribly.

Love the fantasy .....I would love to have that magic wand to bring our angels home NOW.
I would have given anything to need to pay for the license renewal!
Hugs back to you and your Little Guy
Deanna

Posted by: LoveThem Aug 10 2008, 03:50 PM

Deanna,

You said:
I would have given anything to need to pay for the license renewal!



My answer is:

AMEN!!!!!!!!


Judy

Posted by: Deanna Aug 12 2008, 02:26 PM

Hey Sweetheart,
This morning was a tough one. It was one of my "firsts" without you. I woke up at about 2:30 in the morning thinking about it and couldn't go back to sleep. It was Zack's first day back to school and I missed you "helping me" get him up. You know how hard it is to get Zack motivated, however, you were always able to wake him up fairly easy and in a good mood. As sad as I was, I didn't want to mention it to Zack to upset him, but he mentioned it .... so he remembered. "There was something missiing this morning ~ and it was you." You brought such joy in our lives in everything we did and we miss it and you terribly.
It's been a really sad day without you.
I miss and love you so much....
You are forever in my heart,
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Aug 13 2008, 05:51 AM

Hey Zoe,
Mama's struggling through another morning without you. This time of the morning was our "quality morning time" for just you and I ... (you know before the rest of the gang got up to get ready for school and work).
You are dearly missed.
I'll miss and love you forever,
Love
Mama

Posted by: goliath Aug 13 2008, 07:29 AM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Aug 12 2008, 03:26 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Aug 13 2008, 06:42 PM

Good Evening Beth,
Yes, these "firsts" have been really hard for me. As well as the "seconds".... are so tough too. .. (as you could tell from my comment this morning. I thought to myself "ok" you made it through the first time of getting my son up for school, so I thought last night that this morning would be alil' easier.....wrong. You worded it so well, with it's difficult to find a different way of life, when the one we knew so well is gone.
I am trying so hard of working on that peace and happiness again...but it's a slow process.
You are too sweet,
When I read your reply this morning ...it did make a difference in my day. (A positive difference).
I think the world of you ~
Deanna

Posted by: goliath Aug 13 2008, 07:04 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Aug 13 2008, 07:42 PM)

I am trying so hard of working on that peace and happiness again...but it's a slow process.

When I read your reply this morning ...it did make a difference in my day. (A positive difference).

Posted by: Deanna Aug 14 2008, 07:57 PM

You've made another good point. My whole 42 years of my life's sadness, grief and pain added together x 1000 could never measure up to what I felt when Zoe died the night of June 12th. Before I laid her her little lifeless body down in a chair before we buried her, I held that baby in my arms for about 10 minutes and cried the hardest I ever had in my life and I did it all night long, and when I woke up the next day, I felt competely numb with disbelief of trying to accept that she was really gone. It happened so fast. We went for a walk about 7:15pm, came home about 8:30, walked to the neighbors house immediately afterwards at 8:40pm, then at about 9:00pm was when she darted after the rabbit and then she was gone. We buried her that evening about 10:30pm. In just a matter of a few hours that night, my life is changed forever. I will never completely recover from losing her. I was guilty of taking her for granted.
With your help, and with everyone else's support on this site, I am doing ok. I have made progress in my grieving.
I want to thank you. I wouldn't be where I'm at today without all of you.

Thanks for recommending .... I am very familar with the Serenity Prayer ~ I say it to myself just about every other day .... it sure helps.

Beth~ Thank you
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Aug 15 2008, 06:00 AM

Hey Zo....
I missed you this morning....and you will be missed throughout the day as well.
Miss and Love you sooooo much,
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Aug 22 2008, 06:02 AM

Hey Sweetheart,
It's those quiet morning hours that sadden me terribly. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
Love you more than life right now,
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Aug 26 2008, 05:57 AM

Hey Zoe ~
You're on my mind and in my heart today. I will carry good memories of you at the same time I am missing you.
I will love you forever and a day.....
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Aug 26 2008, 07:05 PM

yep ....you've been on my mind all day and I am missing you....what I would give to have you in my arms again.....
i miss you little girl .....
mama

Posted by: goliath Aug 26 2008, 07:49 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Aug 26 2008, 08:05 PM)

Posted by: Gabbycat94 Aug 26 2008, 09:50 PM

Deanna,

I just found this group last week. I wanted to say how sorry I am about you losing your girl. I had two cats that were brother that were both hit by cars. George Walker was a kitten and Danny was 3 1/2 year old. At least you got to be with her at the end. I had taken Danny to the get and he had to stay there they were checking for how much damnage was done. I alwasy bring another cat when something bad happens. I didn't take Anne and the next morning the phone rung and I knew it wa the vet calling to tell me Danny had died.

How I wish I brought him home over night so I could be with him. 3 years later Dylan w as brought int omylife. I lost him April 26, 2008 to chronic renal failure with hypertention.

My prayers are with as you deal with losing Zoe.

God bless,
Michelle

Posted by: Deanna Aug 31 2008, 06:03 PM

Hi Michelle ~
It was so good to hear from you. Thank you for your condolences. That's true ...Zoe was snug in my arms when she took her last breath and completely relaxed. I kissed her face the whole time begging her to please don't go, however, God decided it was time for her to be with him.
My heart goes out to you with your situation with losing Danny and Dylan. I'm sure it's been hard for you.
I miss Zoe so much.
Thanks so much dear for keeping me in your prayers while I deal with my mixed emotions of losing Zoe.
She's forever in my Heart,
Again, thanks
Take care
Deanna

Posted by: AngelCareOne Sep 1 2008, 01:10 PM

Dearest Deanna, your precious fur baby Zoe came to visit with you and wished to stay for a while and shower you with Oodles and Boodles of Love (see the hearts?) and also to show you how beautiful it is at The Rainbow Bridge. It's just like home! See the bottom twinkling photo where a light passes from left to right every few seconds? Those are Angels watching over you and your fur baby Zoe!


http://www.flektor.com/view/_1220291209_791133_78283_2_0_002_026

http://www.flektor.com/view/_1220291293_576490_65422_2_0_005_001


Big Comforting Hugs to You and Your Fur Baby Zoe!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Posted by: Deanna Sep 3 2008, 08:30 PM

Thank you Dottie ~ you are always so sweet and always seem to bring a positive feeling of me being surrounded by my sweet lil' Zoe.
I really appreciate your support,
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Sep 3 2008, 08:31 PM

Zoe, I missed you today sweetheart.
I love you more than my heart can hold.
Mama

Posted by: sissycat Sep 4 2008, 12:04 AM

Deanna that is sweet. I know your Zoe hears everyword you say!!!!!!!!

Hugs to You and you Angel Zoe!!!!!!!

Posted by: Deanna Sep 4 2008, 06:02 AM

Thanks so much Sissycat ~ that makes me feel good .... I want Zoe to know her legacy will live on in my heart.
Hugs back to you, hope you're doing ok.
Good to hear from you,
Have a good day,
Your cyber friend,
Deanna

Posted by: Candy's Dad Sep 4 2008, 11:14 AM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Sep 3 2008, 08:31 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Sep 4 2008, 01:31 PM

Very cool Hal ~ great minds think alike.
God Bless you and Candy,
Deanna

Posted by: goliath Sep 4 2008, 09:09 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Sep 4 2008, 07:02 AM)

Posted by: Deanna Sep 6 2008, 06:10 PM

Thank you so much Beth. You've taught me well, to believe Zoe is alive and well in my heart ... she's my heartbeat that keeps me going everyday.
Hope your days are continuing to go well for you.
Take care,
Lots of love to you, Browser, Gidget and, of course, Goliath
Deanna

Posted by: AngelCareOne Sep 6 2008, 08:24 PM

Dearest Deanna, as I explained to Jan, it's so difficult to put my thoughts into words rather than images, songs, poems, the like and, believe it or not, I am crying so hard for the loss of your most precious, cherished fur child Zoe and you too because I know exactly how devastated you're feeling, the sorrow, grief, void, loneliness. I hope and pray that these images I made to hopefully cheer you up a bit, lift your spirits and put a teeny tiny smile on your face won't be taken the wrong way. I want SO MUCH to comfort you and ... Tears! Sorry. This is what came to my mind to do. Gosh, I hope I can see through my tears to post what I did. Please, Dear God. Please bring these a small smile to Dearest Deanna's face. Please. Thank you, God!

Okay, here's Zoe singing and she thinks no one is listening but you caught her in the act! Oh My, she's ever so embarrassed! Here are the images. First without frame, then two different frames. Unfortunately, the frames make the text a bit smaller. God Bless You, Dear One!!!

Tons of Hugs and Lotsa Love to You and your Precious Fur Baby Zoe!!!

PS. Please don't sneak up and eves drop in the future when Zoe is singing. Okay?

Posted by: Deanna Sep 7 2008, 11:06 AM

Hi Dottie ~
You did it ....it brought a smile to my face.
Yes, I still deal with the pain of losing Zoe everyday. I miss her so much. I try really hard to think of the happy, fun loving memories of her and I together, however, the sadness of her not being with me overwhelms the happy thoughts at this point. Don't get me wrong, I am doing better, but it still hurts. I can't thank you enough for your support. You are such a thoughtful and caring person when providing support to someone who has lost a fur baby.
Again, thanks
Deanna



***Here's a pic of Zoe when she was ready to run a lap around the sectional for me to get her toy from her.*** I miss playing with her.

Posted by: LoveThem Sep 7 2008, 03:58 PM

Deanna

I love your photos of Zoe. She is such a beautiful baby. Her time came much too soon but then anytime is too soon because we want them with us forever. We love them forever. We will miss them forever. Pictures help bring a smile to our faces when we look into such a precious face. She is definitely one that makes us want to scoop her up and hug her tightly.

We never lose touch with their soul and spirit because those are within our hearts.

So rest assured, your Zoe, being one of the prettiest Angels, is just sitting on a cloud watching "Mom" and maybe turning her head to the side to hear a little better...any words you send to her...whether here in a post or at home in your thoughts.

I just know Angels are always listening....and they know how we feel.

Hugs
Judy

Posted by: Deanna Sep 7 2008, 07:56 PM

THANK YOU JUDY
I am very happy to continue to post pictures of Zoe. She was a beautiful furry soul. Anyone who knows me, knew Zoe was my life. I talked about how beautiful she was inside and out. I would pick her up off the floor, all throughout every day, to give her a snug hug and to kiss her little face and tell her that mama loves her so much. I had her completely rotton.

I do believe her soul and spirit lives within my heart. I talk to her every day. A part of me went with her.

Your words are so comforting me assuring me Zoe's watching and listening to "mom".

You take care ..... it is really good to hear from you.
Keep in touch,
Hugs back to ya ~
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Sep 10 2008, 05:41 AM

Hey Zo ~
Mama's still missing and thinking of you all throughout my days.
Love you forever.....

Posted by: Deanna Sep 11 2008, 07:28 PM

One of my babies are missing in the picture ..... it's you Zoe!
We all miss you ... you made our family complete and full of joy.
You will forever be in our hearts!
Love Mama, Daddy, Chelsea & Zack

Posted by: goliath Sep 11 2008, 07:39 PM

Oh Deanna! What a sweet picture that is of all 3 of your kids. Zoe is actually posing for the shot. What a little camera queen she was.

Hugs, Beth

Posted by: havana Sep 11 2008, 07:57 PM

I just got finished reading your last posts and looking at all the pics of the happy times and I see so much love and not knowing it had two big tears coming down my face and thought about my Buster and the happy pics I also have and saw my self there back again, you and all your family look so good together it is very easy to describe, God Bless you all, always, Jorge

Posted by: Deanna Sep 12 2008, 09:43 AM

Good Morning Beth and Jorge ~
It's been three months today since Zoe's accident. Oh...what a sad three months it's been.
Yes, those are all my "three" kids. I miss the little furry one. Yes, Zoe, was quite the camera queen ....everytime I had my camera out, I would call her name and she always gave me her full attention, as you can tell I have quite a few pictures of her looking straight at me. In that picture, you can see, my daughter Chelsea, was holding her. We had her sooo rotten. If it wasn't myself (which I did all the time), she was more in someone's arms than running around on the floor. heehee Anytime she would jump on anyone's leg ~ they were sure to pick her up. Anytime there was a group of us talking around the table, yep, she was in my lap.
Oh, you're so right Jorge, so many wonderful memories. I miss making more of them. Also, thanks to you both for the nice compliments of my family. They are precious to me.
Thank you both soooo much for your caring comments.
I really do appreciate them. I've said it many times before, but I really, really don't know what I would do without you good people with such big hearts and understanding of my painful heartache of losing my adorable lovable Zoe.
Much love to you both.
You're always in my thoughts and prayers.
Deanna

Posted by: Candy's Dad Sep 12 2008, 12:41 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Sep 11 2008, 07:28 PM)

One of my babies are missing in the picture ..... it's you Zoe!
We all miss you ... you made our family complete and full of joy.
You will forever be in our hearts!
Love Mama, Daddy, Chelsea & Zack

Posted by: LoveThem Sep 17 2008, 02:39 PM

I was posting to a new member, Westiemum, here in the D&D Section, and mentioned that her pictures reminded me of your Zoe. I just came back here and saw your starting post where you said Zoe was a westie (boy did I feel smart...I am learning breeds better).

I don't know if you have seen her topic but there seems to be a special tiny extra bond with those whose babies are very similar. I feel that way everytime I see a black kittie. I feel that way when I see a German Shepherd face. And, seeing pictures of ZOE and another westie, recently lost, I had to tell you two about each other. Zoe's pictures are always so adorable..they make me smile.
Now I truly know the "westie" breed. Are they all...all white babies? They sure do take great pictures.

I know you miss her everyday and I also know she is a special Angel that watches over you..
everyday.

I always wish I could wave a magic wand and change things back to the babies being here again..but in healthy times..and with many more years to be with us. Even though it is a
fantasy...the thought makes me feel good..for a fantasy moment.

Hugs, Deanna............and a special hug/kiss for your beautiful sweetheart of an angel, Zoe.

Judy

Posted by: Mikki Sep 17 2008, 07:29 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 18 2008, 08:39 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Sep 19 2008, 01:34 PM

Sorry....my caring, cyber, pet lover friends, but I have been without power since Sunday (9-14)...however, we got 80-90 mph winds from Hurricane Ike and it has destructed our city something terrible, schools have been out all week as well. I still don't have any at home, but I'm here at work and wanted to check in....I have felt lost having no connection to you wonderful supportive people.

Mikki ~
Thanks so much for your sweet comment. Yes, Zoe was my heartbeat. Going on with my day-to-day life has been really tough without her. She meant so much to me and brought such joy to my life .... I life that I knew an loved was gone. I miss her sooooo much. I think of her daily.
Again, thanks so much .... I'll be in touch with you more, once I get my power on.

Judy ~
It is always good to hear from. You have such kind words for my heart. Thank so much. Yes, all of these precious westie babies are white ...they are classified as West Highland White Terriers, nicknamed "westies". They are very easy to bond with. I would have to agree with you ~ they take great pictures. Again, thanks, I'll be touch again soon. (Hopefully, I'll get my power back on soon)!
*** I will take a peek and send some support to Westiemum as soon as I get a chance.

You may be seeing me on the "New Beginning" section soon. I am going to go look at some new babies tonight. I am so excited at the same time I am nervous about taking the big step on getting a new baby. I'll be in touch.
Much love to you all ~
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Sep 19 2008, 01:39 PM

Quick word to Hal ~ Candy's Dad,
I was able to take a peek and see the last pictures you posted of Candy. My heart goes out to you.
I'll be in touch again real soon.
Thanks a buch,
Hanging in there with ya,
Deanna

Posted by: LoveThem Sep 19 2008, 01:50 PM

We'll be waiting to hearing about everything when you get power.

And, thanks for the info about Westies....I loved hearing about them being so very special.

Judy

Posted by: Deanna Sep 22 2008, 01:01 PM

Hi Everyone ~ I have power now. I missed the opportunity to sign in whenever I felt like it.
Hope eveyone is having a peaceful day with your fur baby in your hearts.
We miss them terribly.
Love to you all
Deanna

Posted by: LoveThem Sep 22 2008, 01:32 PM

Welcome back, Deanna

Did you go see those new babies you were talking about? What happened?

Glad you got your power back....we always like to feel we can come here whenever we want to or need to.....


Judy

Posted by: Deanna Sep 23 2008, 05:40 AM

Yes ~ I went and seen the babies and brought one home! I have a new baby, she is so precious. She's another westie and her name is Sasha. It's been kind of a wild emotional roller coaster (again) for me. I laugh, smile and cry with Sasha being around. (With her being the same breed Zoe was, it has brought back memories of when Zoe was so small and being silly). Overall, it's a wonderful thing. I am loving Shasha through Zoe. Zoe has taught me well.
Thanks for asking. I posted a picture of her on the New Beginnings site.
Have a great day, Judy, I'll be in touch with more stories and pics.
Much love,
Deanna

Posted by: AngelCareOne Sep 23 2008, 05:58 AM

Oh {{{{{Deanna}}}}} I'm so pleased to hear about you bringing home your new fur kid Sasha! I can just imagine the gambit of emotions you're feeling and that roller coaster ride especially with your new baby Sasha being the same breed as Zoe. Still, I see it's brought back many happy and silly memories for you, Dear One. And, that's a lovely, loving and wonderful thing!

I can't wait to see the pics in The New Beginnings forum here, Deanna. God Bless!!!

Many Tight Hugs, Lotsa Love and Sasha Puppy Breath and Kisses!!!

Your Pal Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Posted by: Deanna Sep 25 2008, 10:09 PM

Thank you Lovethem,
Yes, it's been a wild emotional roller coaster ride this week. Sasha is keeping me pretty busy physically and mentally. I'm on potty patrol. Trying to get the little girl to do her thing outside. (ha) Oh .... I've cried several times, it being a good and bad thing. Just within these past 5-6 days, I have already fallen in love with Sasha. My husband said "here we go again, you have completely spoiled her within the first three days"! heehee She wonderful and makes me happy, although at the same time, she does things that just rips my heart out (over and over)... only because she makes me think of Zoe when she was little. I still talk to Zoe sooo much, even more since getting Sasha. I want her to know that even though I've got Sasha doesn't mean she "Zoe" isn't on my mind daily, because she is. My family has made good and sad comments, like "Zoe did that but .... and Mom, Sasha is sweet and I love her, but she's not Zoe.....etc., We do all understand no other dog can replace Zoe, we can only hold on and talk about the happy memories we have of her when she was in our lives.
I am still taking it day by day with the healing process of losing Zoe at the same time ...learning to love another fur baby without the daily pain of Zoe's absence.
I still need each and everyone of you.
Zoe, Sweetheart, mama still misses and loves you more than I ever have.
I am looking forward to that glorious day of when we meet again at Rainbow Bridge to scoop you up in my arms again.
ZOE ~ FOREVER IN MY HEART
Deanna

Posted by: ann Sep 26 2008, 01:36 AM

Hi Deanna, Getting Sasha and loving her doesn't in no way, shape or form is or will ever be replacing Zoe. Don't feel guilty about that. It's ok to love and spoil again. You gave Zoe a warm and wonderful life. You Will miss Zoe for a long time if not forever and that's ok too. In time the things Sahsa does that mind you of Zoe won't tear your heart out, it will fill it with joy. Almost like still having her with you in some ways. You'll see, give it time.. Enjoy your new furbaby and love her each day like it was the last.. Hugs.. Ann

Posted by: Deanna Sep 26 2008, 03:39 PM

Thanks Ann ~ I am enjoying Sasha and doing a great job of spoiling her. Yes, Sasha does make me feel good inside as if Zoe was around. Thanks so much for your kind words. Your comment of "enjoy your new furbaby and love her each day like it was the last" is some wise advice.
Thanks so much for your support,
Hope you are doing ok as well.
Deanna

Posted by: LoveThem Sep 27 2008, 09:07 PM

Wonderful news! Sasha sounds like a real sweetheart. So it is like Zoe has a new sister. I am so glad you are enjoying your new baby. I agree about enjoying her as much as possible.

I always try to remember the new ones we have..live in the moment..and maybe they can teach us something about how to do that at times.

Hugs to all of you. Your pictures of Zoe always bring a smile to my face for she is so pretty.

Looking forward to more pictures of Sasha...and always love to see Zoe too.

You have the perfect distraction. My new cat, Lucky, was the distraction I needed and I think Sasha is "handling" you just fine.

Enjoy the little sweetheart. She also loves you and needs you...and it is nice to be needed again, isn't it? And to hug the furry body of such a precious one.

Posted by: Deanna Oct 2 2008, 05:42 AM

I still miss you and love you so much Zoe.
Your heartbeat is beating with mine.
Waiting for the day to see and hold you again.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Oct 3 2008, 07:11 AM

Hey Zoe ~ Dad and I got your "hello" I'm still with you last night
It was a good feeling, keep em' coming....
Love you and miss you
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Oct 7 2008, 08:26 PM

I love and miss you soooooo much Zoe ~ I still think of you everyday.
There will never be another furry soul like you.
We all miss you....see you at the Rainbow Bridge
Much Love
Mama

Posted by: LoveThem Oct 8 2008, 02:21 PM

Deanna

Your Angel Zoe hears every word you say to her.

She is watching over you (and her new sister) and is always listening. She would never want to miss a word of anything you say...she was that way with you here and she is still that way..cause she is still here.



Judy

Posted by: Deanna Oct 19 2008, 11:19 AM

Hi Sweetheart
I still think about you throughout everyday. The thought of you brings a tear and a smile.
I love and miss you so much....I do.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Oct 25 2008, 03:43 PM

Ditto ....from 10-19-08
Still thinking about you throughout my days.....love and miss you so much.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Nov 11 2008, 07:04 AM

I am still missing you Zoe ~ there'e something missing....it's you baby.
Love you
Mama

Posted by: LoveThem Nov 11 2008, 12:15 PM

Deanna

Zoe will never leave you because she is a part of your heart...forever.

Still.....we truly will ache and miss these sweet best friends....everyday...forever, won't we?

It is a bond forged out of such a strong love...it can never be broken.

We are so grateful for the time we had with them and..we wish so very badly...we had had more time....much more.

We will love them forever and miss them forever.

Hugs,
Judy

Posted by: annf Nov 11 2008, 09:20 PM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Oct 25 2008, 04:43 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Nov 26 2008, 03:56 PM

Hi Ann ~ and hello to the rest of you wonderful pet lovers,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I do seriously apologize for playing the disappearing act from this forum, it's not that I don't think of you angels that helped me sooooo much during the saddest days and months of my life. I really don't know what I would have done without this site and each and every one of you. I still miss Zoe terribly every day and I honestly believe the hole in my heart will remain until I my dying days. She was my furry soul mate. Sasha is wonderful and she has helped me. She runs to me when I come in the door, covers me with kisses when I pick her up, just as Zoe did, but somehow it's still so different. It's ok. I still love my Sasha kisses. Now, that we are getting closer to the holidays ...all I can think of is when Zoe was here this time last year. I talk to her all the time. When I take Sasha out, every now and then, I'll say "com' on Sasha, let's go tell Zoe we love her and miss her"...sounds sick, huh? However, it's so bizarre, how long and often Sasha will just hang out at Zoe's memorial site? I figure it's letting Zoe know she's not alone. (ha) I could go on forever, however, I'm at work, so I guess I should get back to it.
I love you all ~ please take care and have a wonderful thanksgiving with your lost loved ones in your heart.
I'll be in touch,
Deanna

***Zoe ~ I love and miss you ~ Mama ***

Posted by: LoveThem Nov 26 2008, 05:35 PM

Everything you said sounds perfectly normal here. There is nothing that sounds "sick".

I am so glad that Sasha came into your life and I'll bet Zoe guided her to you. And, yes, I
understand about the kisses being different from Sasha. Zoe was her own unique personality and so is Sasha but they are not alike....so each can be extra special in their own way.

Sasha is helping you like Lucky is helping me. He is not my Little Guy that I lost but he is the distraction that brings a special life into mine.

The new ones make their own memories with us but the ones we lost have left us with good memories that are truly priceless and ensure they never leave us again...for now they are a part of us forever.

Wishing you all the best over the Holidays. Remember the happy, healthy Holidays with Zoe and enjoy the current happy, healthy Holidays with Sasha. They live in the moment and not in the past and I guess that is why their tail is always wagging

Hugs to you all
Judy

Posted by: Deanna Dec 2 2008, 08:01 PM

Thank you Judy ~
Your reply means so much to me. It was really good to hear from you.
Zoe will forever be missed. It's hard to put into words how that furry little girl had such an impact on my life. She made me complete. I am forever changed with her loss. I've still got her close to my hear
I still think about you every....day....Zoe.
I love you so much
Mama

Posted by: ann Dec 3 2008, 02:03 AM

Nothing will ever heal that hole in our hearts we have for our special friend. It will remain until the time we meet them again. 16 years had passed from the time I lost my Daisy(who was my soul mate) until I got Arthur. His personality reminded me of her in so many ways. Lost memories resurfaced. It almost seemed I loved him more with each passing day. Making up for loss time I guess. Nothing you do to hold onto Zoe will ever be silly, or sick, or stupid in anyway, shape or form. No one has to know, do what you need to, whatever makes YOU feel happy. Zoe is Sasha's special angel now, and those kisses are from both of them. I like what Judy said "they live in the moment and not the past, that is why their tails are always wagging". Words to live by...Take care.. Ann

Posted by: Deanna Dec 26 2008, 03:19 PM

My precious lovable furry ol' ZOE - i miss you baby, your heartbeat is with mine.
You are my angel that I look into the sky to see ~ love and miss you until we're together again.
Love
Mama

Posted by: sissycat Dec 26 2008, 03:44 PM

Very sweet message to your Zoe..


Hugs!!!!!

Posted by: LoveThem Dec 26 2008, 07:57 PM

Hi, Deanna

The words you just wrote I could so easily say to my Little Guy also.

Your other post about telling Zoe you miss her everyday. I feel like that about my boy also.

You know, time goes by and we feeling we are healing more each day so that the days are bearable. Since I lost my boy a few months before last Christmas..I think at that time I was still more in shock. So this is my 2nd Christmas and Christmas morning as I handed some presents to my husband to unwrap I started crying and he looked at me questioningly and all I could say was all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with missing my Little Guy.

Even just typing this to you, I am in tears again.

Yes we do miss them everyday and then there are days we can't help but tear up. Apparently the tears never truly leave us, do they?

Someday your precious one will come racing toward you to be scooped up and hugged. That is the moment many of us think about and that thought gives us some hope about the future.

Hope Sasha and you had a precious Christmas and know your Angel Zoe was right there by your side as she is everyday.

Hugs and peace and healing...are my wishes for you.

Judy

Posted by: Deanna Jan 11 2009, 07:01 PM

Hi Judy and the rest of you wonderul supportinive pet lovers,
Thank you so much for your sincere replies, it means so much to me. Ths holidays were nice (but at the same time) a tough one making it though them ...it was my first christmas without Zoe since I lost her. I had a house full of family and friends at my house, however, periodically, I felt so alone...phasing out thinking of Zoe. She was such a wonderul gift in my life. I miss her dearly. I keep my chin up knowing, I will, someday see her again.
Again, thanks for the replies.
Take care ...you're never alone on this site....never.
Love you all,
Hugs,
Deanna

Posted by: myhrtisbrkn Jan 11 2009, 10:47 PM

Pics of Sasha puuuleeese!

Posted by: Deanna Jan 25 2009, 01:41 AM

I still think about you every day Zoe. You will be forever in my heart, a part of me is with you, you are not alone.
I love and miss you soooo much.
Mama



***************I'll send some new pics of Sasha tomorrow...it's late. ****************
Good night

Posted by: LoveThem Jan 26 2009, 08:52 PM

you said: Take care ...you're never alone on this site....never.

I totally agree. We can reach out anytime and find a hand clasping ours. It helps dealing with the pain that really never leaves us completely. And we know Holiday seasons seems to make it worse at times.....because they are supposed to be the happier times of the year...but when we are in those seasons, it is when we wish so very very hard that our babies were still with us..then it is truly the happier time of the year. (We always wish that but it would be so special if Holidays could make wishes come true).

Peace and healing, Deanna. We know we will love them and miss them forever...and one day, our Angels will meet us for our special reunion. Then we know for sure there truly is a Heaven.

Hugs,
Judy

Posted by: Deanna Feb 18 2009, 06:39 AM

Something is missing today in my life .....it's you, Zoe, I will never get over losing you. You made me complete.
Forever in my Heart,
Love
Mama


****thanks for the guidance with Sasha, Zoe ~ you have taught her well....she does a few things that I know it's you coming through....ha

Posted by: ann Feb 20 2009, 02:26 AM

Hi Deanna, Isn't funny when our living pets do something that reminds us of our past ones. Your so right, it does come from them. A little subtle sign to let us know they are not as far away as we think they are..Hugs to you, Sasha, and Zoe..Ann

Posted by: Deanna Feb 20 2009, 09:33 AM

So good to hear from you Ann ~
Yes, it is funny...I know in my heart, it's signs from Zoe when my Sasha does some things.
You take care ~ have a great day.
Deanna

Posted by: LoveThem Feb 25 2009, 09:52 PM

I am so thankful you have Sasha. She is truly helping the healing process. It is like Zoe picked her out for you....it would be just like Zoe to see you got something special come into your life.
Your Angel is always watching over you and is around you all of the time but knows Sasha helps to fill a need..that need that never fails to come when we lose a very very special friend.

Hugs to you and Sasha...and a particular Hug is sent to your very special Angel, Zoe.

Judy

Posted by: Deanna Apr 8 2009, 06:06 AM

Zoe, I miss you sooo much.
I dream, daily, of the day I will see you again sweetheart.
You are alive and well in my heart,
More love than a human heart can hold for you,
Mama


****If you're hearing your name, we love your sister, Sasha, so much, however, the little girl has a very little chance of us calling her "sasha"...she has been called "zoe" a zillion times. (ha) We all (daddy, chelsea and zack, and our extended family and our large group of friends) miss you Zoe!!!!! We tell stories about you at all get togethers.

FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS!!!!

Posted by: Deanna May 3 2009, 05:04 PM

Hey Zoe ~ Has anyone told you they loved you today? Well....you have...I love you (and miss you dearly).
I will never forget you and the wonderul, fun loving memories I have of when we were together (or even apart, on those days, couldin't wait to get home to hug and play with you).
Miss you punkin-pie,
Mama

Posted by: Deanna May 26 2009, 01:32 PM

Hey Zoe, I miss you sooo much. I think about you all the time. I guess you see Sasha...she so silly. She sure keeps me going while missing you. I am loving her through you. It still hurts terribly. I'm getting alil' uneasy about the anniversary date of June 12th (my birthday) of losing you. I went and bought and planted some new flowers and greenery around your memorial spot. It's beautiful, but it still breaks my heart to think you're gone. I'd rather being fussin' at you for chewing on my flowers. (ha)
You are still my number one furry girl.
Forever in my Heart,
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Jul 20 2009, 12:11 PM

Mama hasn't forgotten about your sweetheart. It's just that one year anniversary date (June 12) was tough to swallow.
I miss you baby girl, you are on my mind each and everyday.
I have visions of the day I get to hold you again.
I will forever love you ZOE.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Jul 26 2009, 02:30 AM

*******I love and miss you so much Zoe******
Mama

Posted by: patricia Jul 27 2009, 06:54 PM

dear zoe's mom. i just saw your posting today for the first time and i have just finished reading everything. couldnt do it without a tear or two though. how sweet you are to send your beautiful zoe these wonderful love messages. i know she can see them and feel them. she definately came to you for a reason. i read where prior to her you werent a animal lover. zoe certainly touched your life as so many of them do us. how blessed she was to have you for a mom. she is your angel now and she is beaming that you have a new little one. sasha is a lucky girl. you will be reunited with zoe one day just like i know one day i too will be with my little fred and riley.

god bless
patricia

Posted by: Dusty Moonrise Jul 27 2009, 09:35 PM

Deanna,

I am so sorry for your loss. Do not let anyone else put a timetable on your grief! I know how frustrating it is for others to not understand why we feel the loss of our pets so much. My Bitsy, while a loving pet to my family, was first and foremost a "Daddy's" dog! I cried anew reading how Zoe greeted you every day. That was how my little girl greeted me each and every time she saw me. She also slept with me every day (night shift).

I have lost three dogs in the past five years: a two year old beagle mix that had to be bottle fed because his momma dog died, and a nearly 14 year old chihuahua that I had to have put down because of age related problems. I thought that I would not hurt as much for being "prepared" for Bitsy's passing, but the grief was just as hard, and it is still fresh even after two weeks. However, the grief is beginning to transform into the kind of pain that can be dealt with.

Don't let the accident prey on your mind, as I have to start letting go of the images of seeing Bitsy being put to sleep. Think instead of the fun times and the fun and loving things that Zoe did with and for just you! Find all your pics of Zoe and share them with someone, anyone, especially with other pet lovers! Continue to share Zoe with us on this site, because doing so will help memoralize her, yet keep her memory alive. Hopes this helps a little!

Andy

Posted by: dukesmom Aug 3 2009, 07:11 PM

I just wanted to thank you b/c your post helped me tremendously. I lost my love Duke this past weekend. He was hit by a car as well. He was only 9 months old and just a baby. Like Zoe, Duke was my everything. I also have a husband and two daughters but the relationship that I shared with Duke was extremely unique. He was my baby. I nurtured him and took care of him like a mother takes care of a child. He slept with my husband and me everynight and was not satisfied unless he was right next to me with his head in my lap. Every morning I spent the first 30 minutes of my day playing with him and brushing him down. He would turn over on his back and smile and them jump up and give me a thank you kiss. We had our own language and my family called him my shawdow b/c he went everywhere with me. If I moved he followed. I loved him greatly.

The pain I feel is so deep. I also grew up without a desire for a pet. My kids have beg my husband and I to get a pet since they were little and we always had a reason to hold off. But when a coworker told us about Duke we decided it was time. He instantly became my dog.

I was at work when the accident happened. My husband was across the street talking to a neighbor and Duke somehow got away from my daughter attempting to get to my husband and was hit. When my husband called me at work and completely lost it. I was hoping and praying that it was not true or that he was hurt not gone. But my wish did not come through. Right now I feel extremely guilty b/c somehow it my head I feel that if I had been her I could have protected him.

Will this pain ever disapate? I am completely devasted.

QUOTE (Deanna @ Jun 18 2008, 08:39 PM)

Posted by: Deanna Sep 7 2009, 09:13 PM

Hey Dukesmom, Dusty Moonrise and Patricia,
Please forgive me for not getting back with you all sooner. I hope the days you have had this past month, have gotten easier and thinking more of the happy days you had with Duke, Bitsy, Fred and Riley. I don't get on here too often, although I still need you guys. For the most part, I only get on here when I have either had a great day and feel that I've had Zoe's spirit run through me or a day when I'm not doing so good and need to send Zoe a message to let her know I still think of her and love her so much. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me a message or your thoughts of my story of losing my precious Zoe. That's right, I wasn't a "pet" person, growing up, when I went to a friend or a member of our family's home, who had a pet, I would either go in a different room or when the animal would get near me, I would kind of scoot it away from me. (Terrible! huh?) However, I think an animal angel sent Zoe to me, to help me discover I had a place and more love than a heart could hold, in my heart, that I never knew I had, especially for a pet.

Dukesmom, I really do feel your pain (and guilt), I could imagine taking that phone call from your husband. It's been really hard for me to let go of the guilt...if I had only not takin' Zoe off of her lease. My dear Sasha, doesn't have a chance to be off of one if we are not in the back yard. Zoe's accident has caused me to be "over protective" with Sasha ...I have darn near "panic attacks" when someone comes in and out of the house, or if she's out in the yard, I am continously looking out in the yard, checking on her, I don't think this issue will ever change as long as I have her. If I had only been like this with Zoe....sigh. Dukesmom, your pain WILL ease, over time, just take it day by day.

Andy, thank you for your advice. The accident doesn't play in my mind as much as it used to, except for when Sasha and I take off for a walk and I have to walk by "where she was hit", I can't help it, my heart skips a beat everytime, but I keep walking (of course with Zoe in my heart). For you to have lost three dogs in the past five years, I really couldn't imagine dealing with that during the course of those years. Stay strong.

Again, thanks ~ you help so much.
God Bless You
Deanna


************I love you Zoe*******************

Posted by: patricia Sep 8 2009, 11:03 AM

no, its not terrible. but your story proves that our wonderful furbabies were sent here for a reason. they all have something to teach us and i believe they make us more loving people. your beautiful little zoe certainly touched your heart and maybe that was her mission. but im so glad you have little sasha. although our new little ones can never replace our babies that have gone, they certainly bring back the smiles, even if they are amidst the tears.
i know what you mean about being overprotective. although i lost my fred to complications of diabetes, i am petrified of something happening to my little lucy. i am constantly checking her up and down and although i know animals have a higher temperature than we do, i still always think she has a fever. i do not let her out of my sight and like you will never ever let her off leash. i dont know whether that will change in me or not either and although i want to relax i cant seem to right now (ive only had her for about 6 months) i am so afraid of losing my furkid so soon after fred and i dont understand why i am so "consumed" with this as she is 100% healthy. but i guess its part of the grieving process.
anyways, enough of my rambling. my little lucy and i send you a big hugs from california.
patricia

Posted by: Deanna Dec 2 2009, 02:17 PM

I haven't forgot about you lil' girl. Mama still thinks of you EVERY DAY. You've made me who I am today.
You are FOREVER IN MY HEART & SOUL Zoe.
Mama

Posted by: madi Dec 2 2009, 07:19 PM

Gees Deanna, I have just read your story for the first time, blew me away, how devastating for you. Zoe was just the cutest too, real shame and so not fair. Nothings fair in this world, lost my boy in similar circumstances. Please accept my belated condolences and hugs. Do you have another pet to love?

madi xx

Posted by: Deanna Dec 9 2009, 02:49 PM

Hey Madi ~
Thank you for your caring thoughts, I really appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Yes, losing Zoe was very devastating to me, I had never experienced or could ever imagined a human experiencing the pain and devastation when losing a pet, especially, tragically in an accident as Zoe's. I was mentally paralyzed for many months after losing her, she meant the world to me, (still does). ha I had never connected with a pet until I got her.

Yes, I have a new furry love in my life, "Sasha", she is a westie as well, she is wonderful, and has helped me tremendously. I was really hesitant on getting another pet (at that time), however, my husband was somewhat persistant, I'm confident he wanted me to get out of the black hole I was in. Howeer, I've had Sasha alil' over a year now. I have moved on with my life, I feel good, I can now think of ZOE without the horrible pain. My family and Itell stories of her every now and again, it does bring a tear, but I smile at the same time. I am completely in love with Sasha and am obsessed with her, as I was with Zoe. (ha) Although, losing Zoe, the way I didn, has made me over protective with Sasha, I almost have panic attacks when I don't know where she is, it's crazy, but worth it I guess.

Sorry for rambling on....again, I really appreciate your comments. I know you mentioned you lost your boy in a similar circumstance, I hope you're doing ok too.
Hugs,
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Jan 15 2010, 04:49 PM

I missed you today Zoe ~
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Apr 11 2010, 12:20 AM

Forever In My Heart Lil' Girl ~ love you ZOE!!!
Mama

Posted by: Westiesam/Sharon Apr 11 2010, 04:57 PM

Hi Deanna
Thanks for replying to me in my thread -- it means alot. I read your whole thread - what a heartbreaking story to lose Zoe at such a young age. I am glad that you have Sasha -- and we are seriously considering getting another Westie -but I'm wondering if it's still too soon and if I'm still to traumatized by Sammy's 7 month illness. I want to be able to relax and enjoy our new Westie and right now I'm worried about what to feed her - which vaccines does she really need -- will she be as wonderful as Sammy? All those questions run through my mind and I don't want to short-change a new puppy - because she deserves to be loved as much as Sammy was -- by the way - when we do get our new Westie girl - her name will be Bailey ---I am working on getting my courage up to get another one --- just need to find a reputable breeder who has healthy Westies.
Thanks again for your kind words -- they're so helpful.
Sharon

Posted by: Deanna Apr 15 2010, 06:21 AM

You're welcome Sharon. I just know how you feel right now. I'm glad you are considering getting another westie, I couldn't bring myself to get a different breed of dog, westies are the most fun loving pets to have. I'm actually thinking about getting a second one, if I can talk my husband into it. He doesn't want me to, but he would not get ANY attention. (ha) I know the fear of how this new puppy is going to "compare" to Sammy. I did the same thing with Zoe. Zoe was so smart ...and when I got Sasha, God Bless her soul, I love her with all my heart, but when we got her and started working with her, we thought she was a lil' "special~ slower than what Zoe was, if you get what I mean" ...I would snicker and talked to Zoe every so often to ask her to "help me out girl". ha It's been a great process though, Sasha has come a long way, we love her just the way she is. Do your research on a reputable breeder. Although very energetic, I discovered a day or two after I got her, she was so sick with kennel cough, upper respitory infections, etc. It took a couple of weeks to bring her back to good health. My heart was breaking for her until I got her well. I am now soooooo proctective of her, I will NOT take her off her leash unless we are in the house or locked in the back yard. I can't imagine dealing the pain of losing my pet again.

Well, I've got to get ready for work. I'll be in touch.
Much love for your sad heart.
Sammy is still with you.
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Jun 8 2010, 07:04 AM

I am thinking about your sweetheart, it's coming up on two years and I feel like I lost you yesterday.
I love and miss my lil' Zo Zo.
Mama

Posted by: Deanna Jul 1 2010, 08:37 PM

I thought of you today Zoe. Mama misses you.

Posted by: tahoeden Jul 2 2010, 12:34 AM

I read your first post about what happened to Zoe. Unbearable to see how it came about. Probably unbearable when you replay the events in your head. Even after all this time, just wanted to recognize your love for your Zo Zo.

Dennis

Posted by: Deanna Aug 6 2010, 05:55 AM

Dennis,
Thank you so much for your thoughts and recognizing the love I had for my Zoe (zo zo). I really appreciate it.
It's people like you that make the world a nicer place.
Take care,
Deanna

Posted by: Deanna Aug 6 2010, 05:56 AM

I still love and miss you so much Zoe.
Mama

Posted by: wchamilton Aug 6 2010, 06:12 AM

QUOTE (Deanna @ Aug 6 2010, 06:56 AM)

I still love and miss you so much Zoe.
Mama

Posted by: ShelbyRae Aug 6 2010, 08:56 AM

I would first off like to say I'm very sorry for your loss. You two sounded like you shared a very special bond and were very attached to each other.
I am also going through the same pain that you are. The love of my life passed away 3 days ago so don't feel you are alone in your pain and suffering.
The only thing that can really take away that pain is time. When you think of the memories of you two, just remember how blessed and lucky you were to have your puppy friend in your life.
That seems to help me when I am feeling sad. Keep coming to this site to vent or share how your feeling. It really has helped me and the people here are amazingly nice.
I hope you find peace soon.

Posted by: Deanna Sep 23 2010, 06:02 AM

I still think of you Zoe, I miss you.

Posted by: Deanna Jun 12 2011, 05:14 PM

It's been three years, almost up to the hour, today since I lost you. You are still in my heart, I think of you and miss you very much.
Mama

Posted by: LoveMyMickey Jun 12 2011, 06:17 PM

Dear Deanna.....I read your original post on how you lost your precious Zoe. I am so sorry for your loss. She is a beautiful precious girl. I know the hurt never goes away.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you.

LoveMYMickey

Posted by: Gretta's Mom Jun 12 2011, 06:52 PM

Dear Deanna

I too read your original post on how Zoe was taken from you. Remembering her today is extra special. Friday was my Gretta's two month anniversary. We'll love them always. Always.

Gretta's mom

Posted by: moon_beam Jun 13 2011, 04:15 PM

Hi, Deanna, thank you so much for sharing your and Zoe's "angel-versary" with us. It doesn't matter how much time goes by - - our beloved companions are always and forever in our hearts and memories. No amount of time can ever take this away from us - - not even the dimming of our minds with age.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Deanna. The love bond you and Zoe share is eternal - - it is not dependent upon the physical laws of time and space. Please know your precious Zoe is smiling down on you as she continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. And please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Deanna.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam