You're Not Going To Believe This . . ., I can't believe it . . . Options

[BabyHannahsMom]

Well, I went back to the shelter today to see if the three pups were there. They had all three already been adopted. There were lots more new puppies though, sad to say. So . . . I brought home an 8-year old salt & pepper poodle who had been left there AND a 3 month-old small Terrier mix or something.

Something just told me to do it -- that it was the right thing to do. I surely hope so. It's really scary. I hope I haven't totally lost my mind! I've never had two dogs at once in my life!

I "talked" to Hannah about it last night, and when I saw the little old poodle (not nearly as small as Miss Hannah), I thought I'd just have to take her FOR Hannah. Her name is Maggie. My mother's name was Margaret. She's a sweet laid-back middle-aged girl. She brings back some memories of little Hannah. Even though they were both turned in by owners, there was no info on either of them. I don't know if Maggie's owner got sick or what. But I told Maggie that I was missing my little girl Hannah, and that I bet she was missing someone too. Also, I did find out after I had signed the papers to bring these two home that another dog had been turned over with Maggie. It was a precious King Charles Spaniel, or whatever they're called. I had looked at that one very closely too, and if I had known they were together, I would have gotten the two of them instead of the puppy. But the girl at the shelter did say a guy was very interested in that one. I don't know why they didn't have them in the same cage or at least a note saying they were together!

The little puppy is precious. He has huge ears that stand up pretty straight most of the time (kind of like Hannah's in that one picture of her that I posted -- the "wild girl" picture. He's going to be a handful, I think, especially for me. He is very alert and notices everything. He might be good to train to visit kids and nursing homes and stuff like that.

I hope Hannah is not upset. As someone on this site said, it doesn't stop the tears or the pain I still feel for the loss of my Hannah girl. I hope this is just the beginning of my helping homeless animals -- that's my plan. I showed the new dogs Hannah's picture and told them about her. I am going to be "Aunt Marcia," not mommy to these kids. They are following me around a lot and are very happy to be here and they get along amazingly well together.

I bought them some good food and bones and stuff. That made me very sad, because I wished I could be buying them for my baby girl. As I said before, I know there will never ever be another Hannah. I just hope she knows that. I can't believe I did this and she's only been gone a little over two months. I hope I did the right thing by her and for me and for the new ones. I hope it doesn't seem disrespectful to Hannah or anything like that. I've cried several times already just looking at Hannah's picture and thinking about her and being reminded of her. I do still miss her so much, and I do so wish she were still here with me.

On the bright side, I suppose what it really means is that I loved her so and it's been awfully lonely without her, and I want to do something good for her "brothers and sisters" in the world. Another thought I had about the 8-year old is that if, you know, something had ever happened to me before it happened to Hannah, I would, of course, have wanted her to be with someone who would love her and treat her like the little Queen Bee that she was. Like I said, she seems very happy to be here, but I still think she must be sad too.

What do ya'll think? Honestly, I am totally amazed that I did this, but like I said, something just told me it was the right thing to do. Gosh, I'll have to move before too long also, which I had been wanting to get out of this apartment into a house with Hannah so she could have a porch and a yard again. She loved so much to go outside. I still hate the thought though of leaving Hannah's last home and all the little places where she was last. I know I have to keep going in this life and do whatever I'm meant to do here on this Earth. As we all know, life is so short and fragile.

I really look forward to hearing what ya'll have to say. Thanks so much for all of your support for these last almost 10 weeks. I respect your opinions and I know most of you have already indicated you thought it might be a good idea for me to go ahead. I know though, at first, I said it would probably be a very long time before I got another one, and I actually meant, like years! Oh, me, oh me.

[Muffins]

Hey there!

You know, IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO...........

I do have a feeling, however, that before long......"Aunt Marcia" is going to turn into "Mommy"!!!
And, that's okay.....and, just the way your precious HannahGirl would want it!!!

After our Ernestine was put to sleep on 2/7/2004.........I don't need to tell anyone on this sight just how
BROKEN MY HEART WAS.......... I felt like someone had pierced my chest with a long 7" serrated knife.....
And, I never, ever thought the pieces of my heart would ever go back to the way they were.
I WAS IN SOOOOOOOOO MUCH PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL PAIN.....

I'm not telling you guys anything that you don't already know...because we've all experienced the pain.

On the ride home from the vet that day, I said to Ben, "I am never, ever going to get any more animals....
I don't want to love only to have them leave....., I can't stand the pain"....

But, you know, exactly one month after Ernestine had gone to the Bridge......even 10 days before that....
I was thinking, "I really would love to adopt a couple of furcats...."
And, on 3/6/2004, that's exactly what we did....
We went to a shelter and we believe that our Ernie-Bird led us to Lucy & Yoda.. (6 & 7 years, respectively)...

Ben & I never ever had two kitties at once....so, this was going to be "different"......

But, I will tell you, IN ALL HONESTY................................
WE COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!!!!!!
These little kids depend on us for sooooo much.....

They had been abused by their "former owner"; (if one can even
call that AH that!!!!!! Bastard).
He had "turned in 5 cats"....just didn't want them anymore...Yo-Yo's brother found a home, and one of the other cats
did as well....but, Lucy's sister; she's still there.... Breaks my heart, but they told me that she & Yo-Yo NEVER got along.
There are so many beautiful, wonderful babies that need homes....

I am sincerely happy that you adopted Maggie....... The "older ones" never seem to find a home....
So, God Bless you!!!

I'm thrilled about your little King Charles Spaniel, as well.
Good for you, my friend!!!!!!

Really, I have to really believe that this is the medicine that you need...

You can never, ever replace Hannah, nor could we replace our Ernestine....
But, the silence in our house was deafening...... I was getting "hungry"......

Ben & I both had cats all of our lives; guess we're just meant to have them.....

Hey, I felt like you did in the beginning.... I didn't even want any more "pets".....
But, these two, they're family....
And, you will see that the precious two furbabies that you adopted, they're probably FAMILY by now!!

They have a way of "melting your heart".....

Hannah isn't sad.....She's finally happy that her mom has "opened her heart enough to love again"....
NO QUESTION THERE!!!!

There is no better tribute that you can give your precious Hannah, than opening your heart and home to
the two furbabies who so desperately need to be loved....

You did a great thing!! Post their photos as soon as you can.....

Goodnight & God Bless you All,

Love, Denise


p.s. If anyone wants to see "our new kids", they are under one of my posts...could be page 3 - 5 by now.....entitled,
"I'm asking for help again my friends..... Lucy & Yo-Yo Ma"... (something like that)... Thanks!

[gingerspal]

Marcia! This is just wonderful news!! I am SO HAPPY!!! can you post photos of them??
They sound adorable--and what I love is that you rescued them!!! wahhoooooo wahoooooo!!! you have to KNOW that miss Hannah would have loved THAT! two great poochies do NOT have to sleep in the shelter anymore and now have a home with YOU! what could be better than this???
I honestly do not think it would have happened if it were not "right"--something would have screwed it up, you know--but it all went smoothly and that means it was meant to be. Plus you asked your Hannah--(which is what I would do too) --I am just elated!!
I really insist on some photos--I am getting a vicarious thrill outta this!!!
so do you get to name the puppy?? tell us MORE!!!
p

[karen424]

Marcia I'm so happy for you! And yes - you're baby girl Hannah knew were such an awesome mom that
you just had to share your love with more babies. Don't you feel for one second that you are betraying
Hannah. Hannah will always have a very special place in your heart, nothing will ever take away from that.
But people that are willing to open their hearts and homes and take that chance once again are special
and that's something that can't be denied. You and your husband enjoy your knew family. Your love
for Hannah lives on through your new babies......

Keep us posted on how you all are doing, okay?!!

Love,
Karen

[LittleGirl's...]

Congratulations Marcia!

Those 2 are among the luckiest of animals, to be adopted by you.

I think Hannah is thrilled. What her spirit wants for you is for some love in your life (that's what you would want for her). She knows she's not being replaced. Your heart just opened a little wider to accommodate even more love.

As Denise said, there's no better tribute to Hannah than to open your heart and home to those who so badly needed a home.

[CATTYBIRD]

Marcia. Congratulations! I'm glad you got them. They sound like two wonderful dogs. As you all told me when I was worried getting my two new cats so soon after Kitt's death, Hannah is happy that you opened your heart to others. Again, congratulations!

[deedee]

I am glad that you have opened your heart again to these new doggies. Although they will never replace your beautiful Hannah, I can only believe that she is watching and is pleased for you and the new family members. I also think it is nice to have two. They can keep each other company when you are away. How wonderful for you!

[BabyHannahsMom]

Thanks for all the encouragement. I may need some more! They kept me up off and on during the night! That was kind of difficult, since I have to go to work today. I never minded when Hannah woke me. I always had to pick her up out of bed when she wanted to get down and pick her back up in get back in, and sometime she would do this a couple of times a night -- not all the time, but sometimes. She would want up to drink some water or eat a little, and I always smiled as I heard her drinking her water or crunching on her food.

These kids are pretty good though really. The 8-year old woke me at 5:20 wanting something -- I thought she wanted to go out, but that wasn't it. It was sort of stormy outside so maybe she was just afraid. I don't know, since the people who left her at the shelter didn't leave any information about her at all. I sure am hoping she's not accustomed to going out at 5:20 in the morning!

I was looking at Hannah's old puppy book, which she chewed the corners up pretty good when she was a puppy -- and I saw all the pictures of the tiny Yorkies and Maltese, etc. These two aren't ones I would have really gone out and picked for their type or size. I know now that I just couldn't get another little tiny puppy like Hannah was, even though the little bitty ones are my most favorite. I will give these a good home, but it wasn't really "love at first sight" like it was with Hannah girl. There's still too much sadness in my heart for her and I guess since these aren't little bitty girls like she was, I can handle it. And yes, I am very happy they didn't have to spend the night at the shelter in cages last night!

I will get pictures of them as soon as I can. It will probably be awhile. Unfortunately, since this is a holiday, they've got me working way more than I usually do. I even got called in today. I hate that because I'll have to leave the two of them alone more than I usually would this weekend and next week too.

Everyone have a good and safe Fourth of July!
Marcia

[Steph]

Way to go Marcia!!

Congratulations mommy! I can't wait to see pictures!

[gingerspal]

Marcia--don't feel sad about leaving them alone while you are at work--compare your place with the shelter!! I think your new little charges prefer your place to a cage anyday--whether your there with them or not! lol!!
I will be looking forward to the photos.
I know what you mean that it wasn't love at first sight and you wouldn't have chosen these two "particularily"-- This is a different scenario than you had with your Hannah and it will take time before you build up that kind of rapport! But judging from your posts you have alot of love to give and in time you'll have great stories to tell us and I am betting you'll fall in love with these two.
My hat is off to you and I am bending at the waist! a bow to you! you "saved" two doggies
and maybe rescued yourself a little too--!

[Muffins]

Hi Marcia:

How are you and your kids???? Are you all getting along well??????

There's no question, it will "take some time" for everyone to get used to one another...

But, I do agree with Patti................your two new little furkids will take your home over a cage ANY DAY!!!!
For sure!!!!

Also, I liked what Patti said in, "maybe you rescued yourself a little too --!"
I think that has to be sooooooooooo true!!!! Do you agree a bit with that???
How do you feel about that, Marcia?????
I know that "it is true in my case; adopting Lucy and Yoster, one month after Ernestine went to the Bridge..."...

Maybe for "some reason", you are working more this holiday weekend---------though, it is "not what you planned",
perhaps it'll be great for the two furkids to get to know one another.....

I'm sure (hopefully! ), that 5:20am "is not the normal waking time" for Maggie.... She was probably frightened by the thunder/lightning, (we had that out here too).....

Lucy loves to get up early to eat......And, for awhile, we had closed the bedroom door, because she would lay on me every 1/2 hour on my chest or side (14 pounds, she weighs).......until such time that I got up to feed her....
I'm someone that "really, needs my sleep..." So, we kept the bedroom door closed.

But, she wasn't real happy with that, ( I was told that "girl kitties" tend to hold grudges, and Ms. Lucy...., she is definitely NO EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE!!!!!)

Ben & I felt really bad.........we want her to sleep with us, if that's what she wants.........but, just not wake me up at 4:30am; that's all.......

So, we started keeping the door open again............she'd start "laying on me" as early as 4:30am...., but I'd just "roll her off of me", and she'd usually lay on Ben's chest for 10 minutes..... (I couldn't breathe with her on me!! )
Then she'd go away for an hour.....(only to come back again..!)

FINALLY, mommy got up at 8:30am to do all the necessary stuff for the kids, and Lucy and Yoster were very happy....
I mean, these kids have "enough food", it's like a "mini-smorgasbord"..... crunchies, wet food & water.......(Ha-Ha, and then she'll quietly move over to Mr. Yoster's food!!!)
She's a character, I'll tell you!!!

But, things are getting much better (Thank you God!!!)

Even though you are working more this weekend and next week too, (than you thought), they'll be just fine!! This may sound crazy, but, keep your answering maching up a bit, and call them like twice a day......loud enough so that they can hear you.......
Might sound weird....but, they'll love it, I'll bet!!!!

Ben has been here, and I'd be out and do the same thing..... He said that Lucy and Yoster were in the bedroom, by the answering machine, and they'd both look at each-other, like "where's mommy"????

I hope you guys are having a lovely evening in.....
I know that your "Little Hannah Girl" is looking down at you, and is telling these two, "You guys have the best mommy in the world........"
Please, try not to EVER THINK THAT HANNAH IS ANGRY, JEALOUS, ETC.....

Really, she wants you Marcia, "Hannah's Mommy", to be sooooooooooo very happy!!! There is no doubt in my mind that she led you to these little furkids.....

One day, you will find out that that is true!!!

Goodnight & God Bless you All!!

Love, Denise

[Christopher'...]

Marcia,
Congrats on the new doggies! Can't wait to see pix. I am sure it is quite an adjustment to have two completely new kids in the house. But, I can imagine they are so thankful to you for their rescue, and I am sure as time goes on, you will develop a special relationship. I am also sure that Hannah is looking down at you all fondly, and is very proud of her mom for reaching out to two puppies in need. She knows how much you love her and that your special bond with her will never be altered. I am sure she wants you to have companionship and not be sad all the time. So, again, congrats...you did a wonderful thing.
Lisa

[BabyHannahsMom]

Thanks again ya'll for everything! The two new kids are doing very well. They really are. I am amazed. I will post more in response to your posts as soon as I have a little bit more time. With my working hours and the addition of these two, I haven't had much time for anything but work and trying to get them settled in.

I cried and cried today for Baby Han. I looked at her two memorials and listened to her song on that one -- I Will Always Love You -- and I told her that I WILL always love her, my little girl, my best friend EVER. I thought it was because of the two new ones that I seemed to be missing her more and more, but I think it's just the way it will be no matter what. This morning, I do so wish I could hold my little baby again. My heart is still broken for the loss of my little baby girl, Hannah, Hannah, Anna.

I will say I did look forward to getting home last night to see these two new kids. They really are sweet and good. Also, I still haven't been able to get the right name for the little puppy. I wish I had a photo so ya'll could help.

Talk to you all again soon. I'll have a day off on Tuesday.
Hugs to you wonderful, supportive friends!
Marcia

[gingerspal]

Marcia--thanks for the report--I was wondering how it is going.
I bet I would feel the same--lonely for the one who I "knew" best--these
two are newcomers so sure their presence would spark feelings about
your "original" girl--
its probably impossible not to compare--let us know what these two are
like--I like that you said they were "good"--shoot it would have been a problem
if you came home and the place was turned upside down! lol
P