Feeling Worse Than Ever, Can't See A Way Forward

Hi everybody,

Yesterday was the one week milestone. Our beautiful cat Tank was hit by a car on Sunday night and died soon after at the vets. I thought I might feel slightly better today, having reached that marker and survived, but I woke feeling as sick as ever, can't see for tears and can't do anything other than stumble through the motions of being a human.
I am a foster carer for two challenging children, who have no understanding of my grief and showed no emotion about losing Tank, even though they had shared his life for the last five years. I know it's not their fault but it makes it harder for me to be 'me' around them. Tank might as well never have existed for them. My son appears to be masking his emotions, though I know he is devastated. My husband is an expert at hiding his feelings too, but I know they are there.
I need there to be a light at the end of the tunnel or I can't see where I will be in another week's time. All I want to do is go back to bed and stay there. I know that's not a good idea and I can't do it anyway, but that's all I want. To give up, not feel this any more.
Why is it getting worse? Don't think my head can handle it if I sink any lower.

1 Week Today

I can't believe it has been seven days since Tank, our beautiful cat, was hit by a car and died.
My son, who the cat belonged to, is doing OK, although when I asked him yesterday, he just said, "I'm coping by not thinking about him. I can't think about him, it's too sad." This worries me. THis is the way my husband 'copes', by pretending everything is OK, and then he gets really ill. A few days/weeks form now, he will be stuck in bed, exhausted and sick, and i know it's because he isn't expressing that grief. I just don't want my son to be the same. He is so emotionally sensitive, I think maybe he is actually still in denial - he simply can't accept the painful truth.
I wake up feeling so sick and empty that I don't want to put my feet on the floor, I just want to go back to sleep forever.
This place is about the only thing keeping me going.
I am hoping for a better day.

Thanks everyone

Feeling Sick, Tired And Judged

Hi everyone,
So it has been five days since our beautiful boy Tank was hit by a car. Everyone else thinks I should be well and truly 'over' it. I am waking up sick to the stomach, having terrible dreams, can't eat or think straight. I know it's normal for me, but nobody else around me feels it's normal or acceptable.
I am putting on my normal face for the world and holding everything in until I am alone again and able to cry.
To everyone out there who feels the same - we know in our hearts we are the lucky ones. We are the ones emotionally open enough to bond so deeply with these friends that when they go, they take a huge piece of us with them.
Just wish it didn't hurt quite so much.


Sending my thoughts out to you all, we have such a strength in each other, it's what is keeping me going, that and my love for my other family members.

Rip Tank, The Most Beautiful, Gentle, Generous Friend

On Sunday night my son's gorgeous Maine Coon Tank was hit by a car. He managed to drag himself back home and call out to us that he was hurt. I don't know how he did this, as the vet said he had catastrophic injuries. My son, who is 12, came with me and Tank to the vet, who immediately told us that he had been hit by a car. He called us again about two hours later to say Tank had died.
My son has had Tank from when he was a tiny kitten - 8 years ago. He was the runt of the litter, a tiny ginger fluff ball who grew up into a characterful gentleman. He was handsome, playful, funny, hugely vocal, a big presence in the family. Our son is devastated. I am devastated. I can't think of anything to say to make things better. We also have another cat who is now looking for Tank and will, I am sure, be grieving too.
It all makes me wonder why I have pets. Every time we lose one I feel as if my guts have been ripped out and now my son is going through the same pain.
Does anyone have any words of comfort I could pass on to my son please?

Many thanks everyone.
I am trying to post a photo of Tank as a kitten, not sure I have done it correctly though.