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> Cant Stand The Pain
britt09
post Aug 21 2008, 04:45 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 20-August 08
Member No.: 4,924



yesterday morning was one of the hardest morning i have ever had to go through. i lost my 2 year old cat buttons to a freak accident. over night while we were sleeping she was playing with her ball on the island in our kitchen. on the island is an attached box like thing where we put our plastic bags. well she had dropped her ball into it and had stuck her head in the hole to get it out. she had done this many times and was able to get her head out of it. but for some reason she couldn't this time she struggle for a lil bit (the only reason we know this is because there are claw marks all on the side of the box) and then her paw slipped and she fell with her head still stuck in the box im guessing her neck broke and she died instantly or at least thats what i hope. its hard for me because i cant get the image of what probably happened outta my head. i keep thinking of her struggling and no one coming to help her. i keep thinking of holding her in my arms and balling my eyes out! i miss her like crazy im use to having her every morning rubbing on my legs when i get up and get ready for school and work. i miss hearing her meow and everything. i dont know what to do because i have no one to talk to. most people just say "its just a cat you will be fine" but she was more than just a cat to me she was like my baby! and we had to get a new kitten last night because of our older cat bud, or else he would grieve himself to death. but for some reason i cant even bring myself to touch the new cat because all i can think about is how much i dont want it all i want is my buttons back! and i feel terrible for thinkings this but i cant help it. i just miss her like crazy i dont know what to do i cant stop crying and everyone around me is thinking im stupid for being this upset.

i just cant stand not having her w/ me :'[


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*BrItTaNy*
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moon_beam
post Aug 21 2008, 05:21 PM
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Hi, brittany, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Buttons. I am so sorry that you had to lose your beloved furkid so tragically. Accidents happen, Brittany, and this certainly was an accident. Of course you don't feel like bonding with the new kitten - - at least not right now. Your grief of losing Buttons is so very new, and your heart is breaking, as mine is for you. Unfortunately, Brittany, not even our closest family members don't always know how to comfort us when we are extremely sad, and what you are hearing that Buttons was "just a cat" is a response from people who truly don't understand the bond that exists between people and their furkids. Nevertheless it's still hurtful, and just adds to the sadness that we're already going through. Please know that each of us here truly does understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. At some point in time you might want to think of doing a special memorial in Button's honor. This will help you to understand that she is still with you in your heart and in your memories, and nothing and no one can ever take that away from you. And please know that Buttons is now healed and happy playing with the angels in heaven's perfect garden where one day you will join her at your appropriate time in eternal joy. But right now your heart is aching because you don't have her physical presence with you anymore, and this is one of the hardest parts of adjusting our lives during a loss. I assure you, Brittany, that eventually you will be able to think of Buttons and smile, and then you will know that her sweet living Spirit is always with you wherever you go and whatever you do. Brittany, please know that you always did the very best you could for Buttons at all times and in all cir%%stances, and it is NOT your fault that this awful accident happened. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Omarmommy
post Aug 21 2008, 07:09 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
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From: Haymarket, VA
Member No.: 4,900



I'm so very sorry for your loss Brittany. What a traggic thing for you to go through. But hang in there. It's a slow road to recovery after the loss of a furbaby. You can't blame yourself for what happened. Freak things happen all around us, and it doesn't help to wonder what if. It's hard to not picture it in your head though. I wish I could tell you how to stop that, but I can't. Just take it day by day, and hopefully eventually you can bond with the new kitten.

Take care. Hang in there.
Marcie
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AngelCareOne
post Aug 21 2008, 07:14 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 16-June 08
From: Florida
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QUOTE
yesterday morning was one of the hardest morning i have ever had to go through. i lost my 2 year old cat buttons to a freak accident. over night while we were sleeping she was playing with her ball on the island in our kitchen. on the island is an attached box like thing where we put our plastic bags. well she had dropped her ball into it and had stuck her head in the hole to get it out. she had done this many times and was able to get her head out of it. but for some reason she couldn't this time she struggle for a lil bit (the only reason we know this is because there are claw marks all on the side of the box) and then her paw slipped and she fell with her head still stuck in the box im guessing her neck broke and she died instantly or at least thats what i hope. its hard for me because i cant get the image of what probably happened outta my head. i keep thinking of her struggling and no one coming to help her. i keep thinking of holding her in my arms and balling my eyes out! i miss her like crazy im use to having her every morning rubbing on my legs when i get up and get ready for school and work. i miss hearing her meow and everything. i dont know what to do because i have no one to talk to. most people just say "its just a cat you will be fine" but she was more than just a cat to me she was like my baby! and we had to get a new kitten last night because of our older cat bud, or else he would grieve himself to death. but for some reason i cant even bring myself to touch the new cat because all i can think about is how much i dont want it all i want is my buttons back! and i feel terrible for thinkings this but i cant help it. i just miss her like crazy i dont know what to do i cant stop crying and everyone around me is thinking im stupid for being this upset.

i just cant stand not having her w/ me :'[


Dearest Brittany, I can only echo exactly what Moon Beam and Marcie have said. Firstly, my sincere condolences on your sudden and tragic loss. I do understand the guilt you're feeling because of what happened to one of my puppies many years ago which took his life in a different kind of tragic accident. It was gosh awful and I know how terrible you must feel. Hon, these things happen but I realize my saying that won't ease your pain in the least. I pray that it was quick and painless for your fur baby Buttons and did take the top photo to two programs to lighten it and sharpen it a bit for you. Unfortunately, I had to resize it before the program would accept it to make the enhancements. I can enlarge it now again though. Just let me know.



And here's your other photo enhanced slightly for you.



What a precious fur baby! And of course you don't feel close to the new kitten yet. When my last kitty Cocoa died, I got a new kitten too soon and felt the very same way, Dear One. Still, I've gone though the motions of petting, stroking, cradling this cat for all these years hoping he won't notice that I'm not able to feel close to him since I got him way too soon after Cocoa kitty died. After a few years, I finally came to accept Styx kitty as family and he's an old man now.

As far as people not understanding and saying, "It's only a cat. There are a lot more out there. Get a grip," and on and on and on ...
I keep hearing that regarding my very best friend feather child that I lost who was so special and always there for me just like your Buttons was for you. Of course Buttons wasn't just a cat. Buttons was family and a lot of people just don't get that. For many if not most of us, our fur babies and feather kids are our family and many times the very best friends we have both human and not human. I sure do understand that, Brittany. I'm so sorry!

Winging many Angels to you and Buttons for comfort and guidance during what must be just about the most gosh awful difficult time in your life. Also sending healing thoughts, prayers and lighting virtual candles for you and your precious Angel fur baby Buttons. I find it helps me because it's a very loving experience. If you wish to light any candles online, it is free and you can light as many as you wish, as often as you wish and for any reason you wish for yourself, your Angel fur baby Buttons and whatever you desire. Just click the Light a Candle image below to take you where you'll be told all about it and get that link. Only if you want to though. Okay?



Please come back to talk as much as you want to us, to your fur baby Buttons and even to yourself. Your pain, grief, sorrow and feelings of guilt and loneliness are so palpable that I feel it too especially since I feel so much guilt about what happened to my Alex and I could have prevented it. Coming here really does help, Dear One.

Sending You and Your Angel fur baby Buttons Many Comforting Hugs! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
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britt09
post Aug 21 2008, 07:25 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 20-August 08
Member No.: 4,924



thank you all so very much for your comforting words! it means alot to kno that im not alone. hopefully all this pain inside of me starts to heal! and Anglecareone that you soo mush for fixing that pic of buttons for me! i really appreciate it! i guess the hardest part for me is wondering if she suffered and having no one to talk to about it bc no one really wants to listen. not even my own boyfriend. thank god i found this site! once again thank you all soo much!


--------------------
*BrItTaNy*
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AngelCareOne
post Aug 21 2008, 07:47 PM
Post #6





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From: Florida
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QUOTE
thank you all so very much for your comforting words! it means alot to kno that im not alone. hopefully all this pain inside of me starts to heal! and Anglecareone that you soo mush for fixing that pic of buttons for me! i really appreciate it! i guess the hardest part for me is wondering if she suffered and having no one to talk to about it bc no one really wants to listen. not even my own boyfriend. thank god i found this site! once again thank you all soo much!


You're very welcome, Brittany. Since I can see your Angel fur baby Button's colors in the other photo, perhaps I can also adjust the contrast, hue and saturation to make it look more like Buttons in that second photo. Now, that will take a while, perhaps days, so please be patient but I'll do my best, Dear One.

I feel pretty sure that Buttons felt frustrated not to be able to get out but that she did pass away very quickly when it came to that part. Honest and for true. And you can talk about it right here all you want. Hey, my brother doesn't want to hear about my grief and my other friends are tired of it, too. This safe haven is wonderful because we all care so much and do understand. So, please come back and talk anytime night or day. Okay? Lean on us. We understand, know and feel your pain. We sure do. We're here for you.

More Big Comforting Hugs!!! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
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LoveThem
post Aug 21 2008, 07:56 PM
Post #7





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I saw your picture of Buttons and she is very beautiful. I am so sorry that this accident happened.
It is one of life's cruel moments. A senseless sadness. Of course, you are devastated. That is the normal reaction. To people who think you will get over it because she was a cat...there is no such thing as "just a cat". The unconditional love and attention we get from these babies can never be duplicated by any human. That's why they are so special and the bond is so strong.
She was too young to be taken and to add to that, it was a freak accident. All of this makes everything so much more devastating. It is hard to believe it happened. It is hard to believe she is gone.

This is the time that tears seem to help many the most. You can write here in your topic your thoughts and feelings and know that here, in this forum, we understand exactly how you are feeling and just how normal it all is..to grieve this way. Sometimes when we hear that phrase, we think...would you say that to someone who just lost a child? But then someone who says that, wouldn't understand what we were trying to say anyway. The two ideas are both devastating but because they are different...some people can't understand that either one is intensely painful.
These furbabies have their own personalities, their own souls, and they bond with us in a way no one else can. They never judge us..they just love us for being ourselves. We who have felt that truly understand this loss.

It is very quick to get a kitten when you are trying to figure out how to get over your grief.
But there is nothing wrong with having one in your home. Here is a baby who needs love and needs a home and is waiting. After a while...you might even find yourself wondering if Buttons sent this baby to you, knowing how devastated you would be without her there. After all, we know these sweethearts will always be with us for they are a part of us but we will miss the physical hugging and being together....that is so very painful..and always will be.

After I lost my Little Guy and my home was finally empty of furbabies.....I went through the tears, day after day. I felt so lost and empty. But after doing all of this over and over..it was just too hard to physically keep it up..and that's the point for me I asked myself what did I want? I knew I couldn't have my best friend back but I missed the hugging, and the companionship and even though I knew no other one could ever replace him...I knew I needed to feel that unconditional love again and I needed to hug one of these babies again. I did adopt one from a shelter and he is the distraction I need. His needs come before mine and since he is always a busy boy....I don't have the time for grieving as I used to. That helps. I have my Little Guy's pictures all over and even my desktop wallpaper so each morning I say Good Morning and at shutdown...I say Good Night to my boy. I will never forget him. I wish he were here longer....it is never long enough. But when it is their time to leave us, I truly feel there is nothing we can do to prevent it..it is taken out of our hands and we are left to deal with how we feel.

I tell my new boy all about my best friend...all the time. And when I hold him...there are times just for a few seconds...when I feel I am holding my boy again. Those are moments I treasure.

I am sorry about Buttons. I understand the intense pain you are feeling. In time, the good memories will help push aside the grief but it really does take time. Does the new kitten have a name? I'm glad the kitten has a furbaby friend and hope it is helping your other cat.

I think sometimes when a shocking accident happens it is much harder to accept what happened as final...that it did happen. But in time...we have no choice. It is a terrible tragedy. But we can't undo what has happened. So we try to deal with it the best we can.

If you have no one to talk to...write here your thoughts and feelings..everyday if you feel like it.
We are always listening and you know we all understand and know that nothing you are feeling is "stupid" is any way. You are grieving normally and it is hard to deal with. You are not alone.
We feel the same pain, have lost our best friends, and do know exactly how you feel.

Take Care.....and a big Hug. We can always use hugs. Buttons is now an Angel watching over you and will never leave you because she is part of your heart now and forever.

Judy


--------------------
LITTLE GUY - May 28, 1991 - Sept 10, 2007 - Always in my Heart.
His story: Section D&D: How do I stop crying? and also... My Boy is Gone Forever.

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britt09
post Aug 21 2008, 08:35 PM
Post #8





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 20-August 08
Member No.: 4,924



it gets very frustrating when no one wants to hear ur pain and it only makes you hurt more! but thanks to u guys i feel more comforted now than i did at first! i am so grateful that i found this website! Angelcareone that would be greatly appreciated if you could do that for me! because we are trying to get all our pics together of her and make some kinda memorial for her! about the new kitten she does have a name we have named her Delilah. We got her from some people in the country. where they were being killed. so we pretty much saved her, she is 11 weeks old and very tiny! she barley weighs a pound! and she has an upper respiratory infection.

i understand that she will never be buttons but she will still be just as special to me. i guess i sorta had the feeling that it was wrong to have new cat the same day but i realize that she isn't replacing buttons. Buttons could never be replaced. im trying very hard not to think of buttons final minutes on earth but of all the wonderful times we had together and of how beautiful and precious she was. she was like my baby and i love her. its just so hard feeling all this pain and trying to go on with a normal day but i cant because im so use to my morning routines with buttons and im use to all these wonderful things and i just feel like i have had that all ripped outta my life and it kills me!


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*BrItTaNy*
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sissycat
post Aug 21 2008, 08:55 PM
Post #9





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From: Lindsay, Oklahoma
Member No.: 4,783



Britt I am so very sorry. Please know you are not alone. 11 weeks ago today I lost my Sissycat to an accident. I can tell you the pain will get easier. It is still there but does not have the intensity. I was beside myself with grief and this site saved me. I had lots of people tell me get over it- it is just a cat. Cat my foot- that was my baby-my child. Some people just do not understand how we love our furbabies. I felt so many emotions. Please continue to post here and talk to us. That is what we are hear for.

I bet before long you will open your heart to accept the new baby. Remember this new baby needs you too.

Hugs to you and best wishes with the new kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ann
post Aug 22 2008, 01:53 AM
Post #10





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From: Mass
Member No.: 4,838



QUOTE (sissycat @ Aug 21 2008, 09:55 PM) *
Britt I am so very sorry. Please know you are not alone. 11 weeks ago today I lost my Sissycat to an accident. I can tell you the pain will get easier. It is still there but does not have the intensity. I was beside myself with grief and this site saved me. I had lots of people tell me get over it- it is just a cat. Cat my foot- that was my baby-my child. Some people just do not understand how we love our furbabies. I felt so many emotions. Please continue to post here and talk to us. That is what we are hear for.

I bet before long you will open your heart to accept the new baby. Remember this new baby needs you too.

Hugs to you and best wishes with the new kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Brittany, I'm so sorry about Buttons. I have read eveyones advise I can't say the same any better. Such adorable pictures. It's so very hard I know. "Just a cat, get another one" Man, do I HATE that!. I often wonder what people who lost a child would think if someone said "its just a kid, have another one". Bonding with a new kitty may be hard for you right now which is understandable. You need to have patience and spend lots of time with it and most of all give it lots of love. She will NEVER replace Buttons, but open your heart and allow her to help you come to peace with your sadness. Funny, I was just saying the same about my Arthur tonight, "I miss him so much, I just want him back". So you can see even after 2mo I still miss him..Buttons will live forever in your heart. I don't talk to anyone about my baby, 'cuz like you said people don't want to hear it. That's why we are hear. We DO want to hear it and we DO want to help...Read on and write often..Hugs to you and your new kittnen..Ann
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AngelCareOne
post Aug 22 2008, 04:27 PM
Post #11





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Hi, Brittany. I wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Also want you to know that I am working on that photo of your fur Angel kitty Buttons to try and clean it up some more and bring out her colors. I can tell it will take quite some time and have about 20 attempts saved to my files so I can use them when I continue. Please know I am an amateur but promise to do my very best. There are experts out there in real life that can take that photo, compare it to your other Angel Button's photo and make it look like brand new, colors and all. Still, I will do my best.

Sending You and Your Angel Fur Child Buttons Many Comforting Hugs!!! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. The program I'm using is at www.myimager.com so you can feel free take any photos there yourself to enhance and save. It's free. Tons of popups but it's free. The other program I'm using is at Photo Bucket and it's free, too. All you need to do is sign up for a free Photo Bucket account. There you can also host all your photos. More Hugs!!!

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britt09
post Aug 22 2008, 09:37 PM
Post #12





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Thank you so much for fixing my pic of my baby buttons! i really appreciate it! but i am doin a lil better than yesterday hopefully tomorrow is better! but the pain is still feels intense.its just hard to deal with everything. but thank you for all of ur sympathy it helps so much considering i cant find any around me!

p.s i will most deff check out that site so that maybe i can fix some of the other pics i have!


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*BrItTaNy*
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AngelCareOne
post Aug 22 2008, 11:37 PM
Post #13





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You're very welcome, Brittany. I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better but do empathize how you're not getting much sympathy from loved ones. So many people just don't understand how these fur babies are our family, our children. We understand so you come back here and talk anytime you wish expressing how you're feeling. Anytime at all, Dear One.

By the way, those Photo Bucket accounts can many times do an "auto fix" in their editing feature that will suffice very well. It's just that one photo needs more TLC so that's why I'm using many features at the myimager.com program. Perhaps the other photos you want to clean up may just need that quick "auto fix" provided by Photo Bucket. The URL for them is http://photobucket.com/ and you can skip the "enter your cell phone number" part. I don't have a cell phone so I do skip that part. Make sure you use your correct email addy when you sign up though because they will send you something to confirm. It's a free account and you can have as many Photo Bucket accounts as you have email accounts.

Please check in with us again when you feel up to it. Remember you're a Wonderful Person!!!

Sending you and your precious Angel baby Buttons Many Healing Hugs!!! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
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britt09
post Sep 3 2008, 08:31 PM
Post #14





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 20-August 08
Member No.: 4,924



Its been two weeks exactly since i lost my baby, and came to this site for support and a shoulder to cry on! and thank god that i did! im finally able to think about buttons with out crying. i still feel a huge hole in heart w/o her but ive kinda come to terms with it and i am more able to accept her death and im able to have a normalish day! and if it wasnt for everyone on this site i probably would still be hurting just as much as i was the first day i lost her. i mean yea i still cry and still hurt but its not as bad as it was. and i would lyk to say thank you to everyone who comforted me in my time in need!


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*BrItTaNy*
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geese
post Sep 3 2008, 11:49 PM
Post #15





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QUOTE (britt09 @ Aug 21 2008, 04:45 PM) *
yesterday morning was one of the hardest morning i have ever had to go through. i lost my 2 year old cat buttons to a freak accident. over night while we were sleeping she was playing with her ball on the island in our kitchen. on the island is an attached box like thing where we put our plastic bags. well she had dropped her ball into it and had stuck her head in the hole to get it out. she had done this many times and was able to get her head out of it. but for some reason she couldn't this time she struggle for a lil bit (the only reason we know this is because there are claw marks all on the side of the box) and then her paw slipped and she fell with her head still stuck in the box im guessing her neck broke and she died instantly or at least thats what i hope. its hard for me because i cant get the image of what probably happened outta my head. i keep thinking of her struggling and no one coming to help her. i keep thinking of holding her in my arms and balling my eyes out! i miss her like crazy im use to having her every morning rubbing on my legs when i get up and get ready for school and work. i miss hearing her meow and everything. i dont know what to do because i have no one to talk to. most people just say "its just a cat you will be fine" but she was more than just a cat to me she was like my baby! and we had to get a new kitten last night because of our older cat bud, or else he would grieve himself to death. but for some reason i cant even bring myself to touch the new cat because all i can think about is how much i dont want it all i want is my buttons back! and i feel terrible for thinkings this but i cant help it. i just miss her like crazy i dont know what to do i cant stop crying and everyone around me is thinking im stupid for being this upset.

i just cant stand not having her w/ me :'[


Attached Image Attached Image

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geese
post Sep 3 2008, 11:51 PM
Post #16





Group: Pet Lovers
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Member No.: 4,862



Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear your story. That really sucks. I don't know what else to say. I hope you can deal with the grief of the situation, and know that it wasn't your fault. I hope you are OK.

I send all my love and thought to you.....

Geese
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sissycat
post Sep 3 2008, 11:58 PM
Post #17





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 669
Joined: 8-June 08
From: Lindsay, Oklahoma
Member No.: 4,783



I am so glad to hear you are doing better. Yes we will always have that empty hole in our hearts and will miss them terrible. We will hurt forever, but it gets less intense as time goes by. Tommorow will be 13 weeks for me. Yes I still have a cry once in a while. That is normal tho. Glad we were here for you. I to don't know what I would have done without this site. Continue healing and keep in touch.

Hugs!!!!!!!!
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ann
post Sep 4 2008, 12:57 AM
Post #18





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 650
Joined: 8-July 08
From: Mass
Member No.: 4,838



QUOTE (sissycat @ Sep 4 2008, 12:58 AM) *
I am so glad to hear you are doing better. Yes we will always have that empty hole in our hearts and will miss them terrible. We will hurt forever, but it gets less intense as time goes by. Tommorow will be 13 weeks for me. Yes I still have a cry once in a while. That is normal tho. Glad we were here for you. I to don't know what I would have done without this site. Continue healing and keep in touch.

Hugs!!!!!!!!

Hi Britt, glad to hear your moving along in your healing process. You are very young and there is a lot going on in your world and that will help a great deal. You will never forget Buttons. Sometimes I have dreams of my past kittys and I wake up crying, not 'cuz they were bad, just 'cuz I still miss them so much. It's been over 20 yrs!..By the way, how's the new kitten you got?? Please let us know.. Hugs.. Ann
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britt09
post Sep 5 2008, 02:54 PM
Post #19





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The kitten is great! she acts almost exactly the same as buttons use to act! she keeps me on my toes and my mind off of things! we have bonded very well, she loves to sit in my lap and sleep while im on the comp. the only bad thing about it is every once in a while i'll accidentally call her buttons when im not thinking. But the cutest things she has done is my desktop background is a pic of buttons and Delilah jumped up and the computer desk and was staring at the pic of buttons then put her paw up on the screen and meowed at the pic. its was so cute! Bu yes school and everything going on right now is deff helping me out alot to keep my mind of the bad things!


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*BrItTaNy*
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britt09
post Sep 5 2008, 03:50 PM
Post #20





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also here are some more pics of buttons!
the dog in the pics are Riley the were best friends!

Attached Image
Attached Image
Attached Image
Attached Image


--------------------
*BrItTaNy*
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 3rd June 2020 - 01:01 PM