Grace Girl Options

[GraciesMommy]

I have never posted anything on any site until now, I am in such intense pain of losing my Weim Gracie that I cry at the drop of a hat and I am consumed by the thought of her and how much I miss her. A week ago my Gracie was running in the backyard and playing with her new baby brother another Weim, Will that is 12 weeks old, her stomach was upset and she had vomited but she was still playing and seemed like herself so I just figured she ate something that didn't agree with her, which was normal for her, by Tuesday she wasn't really eating but drinking water and she was just laying around "resting" I figured if it didn't pass I would take her to the vet on Wed.. On Wed we went to the vet and they did xrays and it showed something was in her stomach an obstruction of some sort and that we should wait until Thursday to see if it would pass, Thursday morning she was miserable very depressed and seemed to be in pain I took her back to the vet and they did surgery to remove the obstruction, she was in surgery for 3 1/2 hours they said that the obstruction was some sort of string/fabric and that it had wrapped so tightly around her intestines that she had 2 tears and they had to cut out some of her intestines and piece them back together. I had to pick her up and transport her to the emergency animal hospital so she could be watched and medicine be administered through the night, I picked her up on Friday morning and took her back to the vet where they gave her more fluids and said that I could pick her back up and take her home for the weekend. Friday night she laid on my couch and I just loved on her as much as possible her pain medicine started to wear off and she started breathing rapidly my husband and I made the decision to take her back to the emergency animal hospital on our way there Gracie took her last breath in my arms. My Gracie was 16 months old she was very healthy and the light of my life. I am a stay at home mom so I spent everyday with my Grace girl. I am having a very hard time understanding how this could happen in just a week, how my life was so normal and then all of sudden it all changed. I don't blame my vet I know in my heart she did all that she could but I have a lot of guilt, Was there anything else I could do? I miss her dearly and I was hoping that if I was able to talk it through with others that understand that maybe I could deal with it or get advice. I'm sorry that this is so long. Thank you for letting me tell my story about my sweet baby Gracie.

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Gracie's mommy

My heart is weeping for you in the passing of your most-loved Gracie. Your love for her shines through your every word. Here's some caring and strength for yout ouse as long as you need to. You'll soon be hearing from Moonbeam, she's sort of the "mother" of us here on this site. She has wonderful words of comfort and consolation.

First, let me assure you that you did everything absolutely right. I know that the guilt monster invades our minds durint trama like this, but pleas don't listen to him. My sister once had an English Spaniel who ate EVERYTHING and had frequent bowel obstructions - some of which required surgery. You just CANNOT watch a dog closely enough to prevent him or her from eating the wrong thing. No one can. The very first weekend I had my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) she ate a bag of grapes - which can cause instant kidney failure in susceptible dogs. Off we went to the emergency vet for TWO shots of apo until she threw it up!

Some here on Lightning Strike, Love-My-Mickey, wrote me a poem when I was feeling very guilty about my lack of courage meaning that Gretta spent her last night on earth in a University Vet School hospital. It'll make you cry for sure - I still cry over it after 15 months. Maybe it will help you like it has helped me.

Oh mommy, mommy please don't worry
For there is nothing to forgive
A life of peace and joy and gladness
Is what I want for you to live.

Oh mommy, in the end as always
Nothing that you did was wrong.
No matter where I was I felt it
Your love for me was oh so strong.

Gracie's mom. Mother Moonbeam will explain that we humans live in a sensory world. And when the sensory aspect of a loved one disappear we call them "gone." But they are NOT gone! Gracis is right there by your side as always - you just can't see her or hear her or stroke he oh-so-silky Weim coat. So you heart cries for that human-sensed contact. Gracie is in spirit from now. She can see you and hear you and loves the sound of your voice as always. She's still on her job, too - watching over you, guiding your steps, and most importantly loving and being loved by you.

Gracie's mom. you're in the early days, the shock-and-awe days, of one of life's greatest tramuas. You will cry anywhere and everywhere and all the time. I cried a lot at work (still do, some) and didn't much care who saw my red eyes at meetings. Just breathing, eating and sleeping will take all the energy you have for a while.Everything will hurt - and some more tears. After a while the body won't be able to sustain that kind of trauma and you'll maybe go into the "carrying around a concrete block on the heart" or as my sister Bobbie on this site says, "bleeding to death from the heart." If you're a solo at least part of the day, you can do more "exotic" things in your grief. I slept on Gretta's dog bed (a big orthpedic one) for over a week after she went to the Perfect World.

Also, my vet - THE best vet in the unviverse - gave me three big hugs when he hear about gretta's homegoing and then said something that really consoled me. "She's in a safe place now." I figured if the ultimate man of science believed this, that was good enough for me. Knowing beautiful Graice is also living in that safe place will someday console your heat just a little.

ANother thing: PLEASE do NOT listen to people who WILL say, Get over it, or It's only a dog. These people don't say this cruel thing because they're necessarily cruel. They are just the unfortunate ones who have never experienced the soul-mate love between a person and an animal. Try to imagine they just said something to you in, say, Swahili, or are from another planet. Because they are - the planet of never having an animal share a part of their souls.

There is so much more to say, but I think that's enough for now. Please know that you've come to the right place. Lightening Strike is a band of brothers and sisters who DO know what it's about to share a soul-mate's love and then have them disappear. We're here 24/7 - always ready to lend support and confort in this roller-coaster-ride-of-horrors that is the grief journey - on our way to be reunited with your loved one(s) in that perfect World.

Take it slowly and easily today, Gracie's mommie, and please let us know how you are doing later on.

A fellow traveller,

Gretta's mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, GraciesMommy, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Gracie. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

GraciesMommy, as Gretta's Mom has so compassionately shared with you, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. There are so many different emotions we experience usually all at one time that can literally make us feel like we are going insane. This grief journey is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. Contrary to what some people may try to tell you, this grief journey is not one of "getting over" or "moving on" or finding "closure" to the physical absence of your beloved Gracie. These terms came into fashion when hospice began in this country in the 1970's. Rather, this grief journey is one of ADJUSTMENT TO the physical absence of your beloved Gracie. As Gretta's Mom has already shared with you, we live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of taste, touch, sound, smell, and hearing. When our companions come into our hearts and lives, they literally become the center of our universe - - both emotionally and physically. Every time they touch us and lick us they are imprinting themselves on us so that they can identify us from all the other millions of people on this planet. When they precede us to the angels, our bodies literally go through a physical withdrawal from this physical contact. This grief adjustment journey is a very painful one -- both emotionally and physically - - but please let me try to add my reassurances to Gretta's Mom's that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief.

Unfortunately this grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. There are no fast forward or delete buttons you can press to speed up the journey or make it disappear instantaneously. One of the many things you need to remember as your travel your grief journey is that you are not alone. Please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are feeling and going through, and please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. There are no judgments made here, GraciesMommy, and there are no limitations or expiration dates for you to share with us what is in your heart and on your mind.

The good news is that the love bond you and your beloved Gracie share is eternal. It is not limited to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Gracie's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is forever and always a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. I know this is not the same as being able to hold her physical body in your arms and being able to watch her play and feeling the softness of her caresses and kisses and listening to her different sounds of happiness and the rhythm of her breathing while she's sleeping. But please let me reassure you that she truly is forever with you and NOTHING in heaven or on earth can ever change this.

As I read through what you have shared with us it sounds like you, your veterinary practitioner and the ER vet did everything they could in their power to restore your beloved Gracie back to you. I am not a licensed veterinarian or vet tech, but many years ago I did take some courses in the vet tech field. Abdominal surgery is ALWAYS major surgery, and when it comes to the intestines there are a myriad of complications that can arise. Sometimes surgery can be totally successful and the recovery can be uneventful, but if the intestines have been compromised such as in cases of bloat, blockage, hernia, etc., the outcome can be not so successful. I am truly and deeply sorry that the surgery was not able to restore your beloved Gracie to you. I hope your veterinary practitioner is offering you comfort and support during this very sorrowful time, and that you have the comfort and support of your family and friends.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Gracie with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us -- but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, GraciesMommy, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[GraciesMommy]

Thank you both for your kind words. I love my Grace & miss her and I know she is with me each moment of the day. She was so sweet and silly and each day was so much fun to spend with her, I am blessed to have had her even if it was for such a short time. I am sure I will have more feelings to express and I'm thankful that I found this site to express them but right now I'm just very overwhelmed.

[DannysMom]

GraciesMommy, please accept my sincere sympathies on the loss of your precious Gracie. I am so sorry that you lost her at such a young age and in such a horrible way. When I read your post I felt so heavy and sad that I just don't know what to say. The first few weeks in the grief journey are the hardest, because that's when the pain is so acute and overwhelming. I do hope that you can find a measure of comfort and some peace.

[Gretta's Mom]

Hi Gracie's mommy

Just a short note to wish you a good day (like there IS such a thing when your best friend has gone to heaven!). Take it slow, soak our caring in, and just keep breathing. That's all you can do during these first few agonizing days.

Gracie, please round up the pack and send down some love-rays to your mom - her heart needs you now.

In peace,

Gretta's mom