Do Finders Have To Be Keepers?, Not bonding with Sable |
Do Finders Have To Be Keepers?, Not bonding with Sable |
Feb 15 2008, 02:05 PM
Post
#1
|
|
Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 340 Joined: 19-June 06 From: Western Washington Member No.: 1,750 |
I started this on Found a Kitty, but since it really opens up a whole new aspect, I'm starting a new topic here. Admin: you can move this to New Beginnings if it feels like a better fit, but the guts of my concern centers on having found a lost cat, not choosing a new beginning with one. Folks on this thread have been following Sable's tale, so I'd like them to be able to find this post and help me through it.
*** Okay, I'm taking a cue from the gent who wrote "Confession" (see Death and Dying), and Paris' reluctant disclosure about Bennett. I've been struggling with feelings of not wanting Sable in my home. Luna, Rohan, and Willow all guardedly walk past her, because she stares them down and lashes out sometimes. The warily pass by, tense and back stiff. There haven't been a lot of fistfights, but the honeymoon is definitely over, and sometimes Sable chases them, especially Luna, with lots of hissing and spitting. (Usually on Luna's part.) Sable's kidneys are "weak." The doc says it's not kidney failure, but suggested I put her on the special NF diet as a protective measure. I'm just not willing to do that -- I've tried it with other cats and they all hate it. And with four, there'd be no way to switch just hers. I may as well just throw the money in the trash, because that's where all the food ends up. I'm willing to try other dietary changes, but not NF. She goes through an ungodly amount of kitty litter -- she pees as much as the other three combined. I'm awash in litter granules. After years of caring for failing, elderly kitties, it was a joy to adopt new kittens. Willow, Rohan, and Luna are all abundantly healthy. What a relief of have a healthy, robust home. And after caring for my elderly, ailing father, and then to have been released from that when he died, I am SO unwilling to step back to caring for something in ill health. It's a stress that wears on me heavily. She doesn't groom herself well, she looks all rumply and unkempt. She's docile, and her mood is even, and purrs, and occasionally tries to play, but she's not robust. She now weighs 9 lbs, 1 oz (up from 5-10 when I found her). But how can I ask someone else to adopt a health-compromised animal? I feel stuck with her. Maybe, with more time, she'll bond with some of us, but it hasn't happened yet. The local Kitten Rescue is just about to launch into kitten season, and if I insisted they take her, I think I'd ruin my goodwill with them (I used to volunteer there). One option, is they might be willing to advertise her on the website, as long as I continue to foster her. I just feel like I'm a bad mom, and being selfish for wanting a home of harmony and health, needy kitties need not apply. Kimberly -------------------- ...You precious children, of four feet, whiskers, and mischief...
|
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 07:16 PM
Post
#2
|
|
Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 433 Joined: 11-November 07 Member No.: 3,938 |
Hi Kimberly
I don't know if my comments will be helpful, I can only tell you what I've experienced personally. I adopted a dog from across the country that turned out to be a real jerk. I asked the foster home and rescue organization a *lot* of questions before adopting, I had him vet checked and even had his hips x-rayed because he was going to be my agility dog. I promised the rescue organization, thinking I had a pretty firm grasp on his character, that I would work out whatever issues cropped up. When I saw him in his crate I thought he was the most beautiful dog ever. Within a month he had bit the dog I'd had for 14 years almost in the eye, he had grabbed my cat by the leg (she ended up getting liver cancer and I do wonder if the stress accelerated things), and mashed up my hand giving me a permanent scar (I was holding him back from biting my old dog who had picked up a bone at the time). Rehoming came to mind a number of times, but frankly no-one wants a dog like this. I guess I can say I have learned a few things about controlling dog aggression, and his tendencies are now well managed. He is far from perfect. He has occasional seizures and he has something like Attention Deficit Disorder. Any stimulation gets him totally over the top, but not so aggressive as before. Just the other day my husband and I were saying how much energy we've had to put into him to make him a reasonable dog. It hasn't been easy. I know two other families who got rid of similar dogs, one through euthanasia, one went back to the shelter. I couldn't bring a dog like him back to a shelter as I know how much that would mess him up more, and euthanasia, well, I don't disagree with it for some situations because an unmanageable pet does affect the quality of life for everyone else involved. I can't judge what is right or wrong, just saying that I know the feelings involved. I chose to stick with it. Was it fair to my previous cat and dog? No, not really. I did everything I could to keep things completely controlled and keep my original pets safe and happy. My first pets always come first, but situations are not always so simple. I will probably spend his lifetime trying to find ways to calm him, although he is a thousand times better than when I first got him. I could never rehome him now even though at times I've really hated him for his behaviour. So there are no easy answers. You could offer to foster and advertise her, that sounds pro-active. At least that would open up the possibility of a different home. Ultimately I don't know what is right, but I think most of us have the answers within. There are so many unhealthy, aggressive, or behaviorally challenged pets around and not nearly the resources to help those dealing with it (especially aggressive dogs). I tend to keep my animals even if they turn out to be totally rotten, but each situation is entirely different, and as I said, I cannot judge. So that's probably not much help, but just what I've gone through. Jan. |
|
|
Feb 15 2008, 08:52 PM
Post
#3
|
|
Forum Administrator Group: Admin Posts: 1,073 Joined: 3-March 03 From: Midwest USA Member No.: 1 |
the post fits here just fine. and it's a tough rope to walk. as with humans, pets also have distinct personalities. and unfortunately, also as with humans, not all of their personalities are good. add in poor health, aggressive behavior, and disharmony in the home...i am sure it is not a great situation.
-------------------- |