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"Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard. You know the sleeping feel no more pain, and the living are scarred."
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Pammie
53 years old
Female
Connecticut
Born Jan-22-1971
Interests
My cats, reading, Lizzie Borden, Harry Potter, supernatural, bull-riding.
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Joined: 29-July 08
Profile Views: 2,520*
Last Seen: 18th August 2008 - 12:25 PM
Local Time: Mar 28 2024, 04:08 PM
9 posts (0 per day)
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Yahoo daaesphantom22
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Pammie

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6 Aug 2008
So, the last couple of days have been pretty tough.
We did end up going to Mystic and stayed overnight for our anniversary. I am glad we went, we sooooooo needed it. I felt terrible leaving Acey and Peanut, but Auntie Laurie came over and took good care of them for us.
Coming home was hard knowing Abby wouldn't be there. Once we were home our moods both turned pretty dark and I cried a little. I finally came out of it Monday night, but then yesterday was the first night where I didn't get to do the "lunchmeat song". It sounds so ridiculous but I made up this little song I would sing to the babies (Abby, Acey and Peanut) when we would come home from grocery shopping. It was taken from the song "We are Family" and I'll put it here but please don't laugh, it was just a thing I made up and would change depending on the brand on lunch meat I was buying, for example:
"We are Stop & Shop Roast Turkey Family, Dabba (Abby), Acey and P (Peanut), We are Stop & Shop Roast Turkey Family, get up everybody and sing (and when I would get to "sing" Acey would always meow). I did it on a whim one day after grocery shopping and each time after that I would do it and they would all come running. I realized last night I had to do it (because they do wait for it, scary I know!!!) and I was trying to figure out how to do it now that Abby is gone. So I sang it but just added "now it's just Acey and P". I burst into tears even as Acey and Peanut came running over for their bi-weekly (I shop every two weeks) lunchmeat treat.
I know it probably sounds so stupid, but it was soooo hard.
Does anyone make up gay little songs and stuff like I do?
Pammie

2 Aug 2008
Here she is in all her beautiful splendor.
She truly is the "Queen".
Sweet girl, Mommy and Daddy miss you so much!!!!!
Mommy (Pammie)
29 Jul 2008
My name is Pammie. My beautiful 12 year old baby girl Abby died yesterday in my arms.
It was so unexpected and shocking.
I dropped my husband off at work and came back to the house before going into work myself because we were having some plumbing issues and the landlord was sending out someone to fix it and I had to be there to let him in.
I came in and Abby and Acey usually come out to greet me and they didn't. I called their names and then I heard Abby making a weird crying noise. I noticed she had thrown up and she was under the table her limbs out and she was just convulsing and making this horrible noise. I picked her up and she was all limp and shaking and then she made another noise and shook some more than gasped for air once last time and went still. I was so hysterical. I called my husband at work and told him to come home then realized I had the car but couldn't leave to get him because the plumber was coming! I called my brother who went to get Dave and brought him home. Dave thought I must be mistaken, I mean we had just left the house and she was fine. She had gotten up with us, used the litter box, had a nibble and a drink and was where she always was when we leave the house. I literally was gone, 10-15 minutes tops and my world fell apart.
I am beyond grief-stricken. I don't know what to do, I am jittery and shaky, I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I don't know when the worst time is, it seems like every second is the worst. We've talked about good memories and that just makes me sadder because there won't be any more new memories of her. She was only 12, a very healthy, indoors only cat. One minute she was more than fine, and the next-dead. I just don't know what happened and what to do. Plus my last memories of her are horrible, I can't tell if she was in pain, it looked like she was having a seizure. My mom died 4 years ago after suffering 2 grand mal seizures from complications of brain cancer. Those seizures were the worst things I have ever seen. After the first seizure and my mom came around I asked her, Mom did it hurt??? And she said no.....but it was funky!!! She never defined what "funky" meant as she went into another seizure and then never woke back up, she died a day and 1/2 later.
I am so lost, I don't know what to do. Both my husband and I are so upset, I feel like I can't comfort him, and he feels like he can't comfort me. Our other 2 cats Acey and Peanut are freaked out because they can't find Abby and we're hysterical most of the time when we are home. My husband got home before me yesterday after everything was settled we went into work, and he walked in and was just so overcome. I came in after him and was the same way. He works late tonight, so I am going to visit his dad at his nursing home and then go to the store and then go home I am so dreading going home because even with the two other cats who we adore, the house is just so empty.
I need support, I need help. If there is anyone out there who wants to send a PM to me, please do.

Pammie
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22 Jan 2013 - 18:28


22 Aug 2008 - 20:38


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