A Word Of Comfort In Honor Of My Boy Zachary

5 years ago today i lost my beloved Zachary. More like a child than a 'mere pet'.
I felt so crushed by his loss. It was made wose by the fact that i had to consent to have him euthanized. I had never had to do that before and I felt very conflicted about it. Today, in his honor, I would like to post and exerpt from another post, of how I struggled through that painful period. I hope that some of the words might also bring one of you the comfort that you are seeking too. LS is a wonderful place. There is so much peace and healing here in the words that people leave. It was, and continues to be a very special website with very special people. Thank you to the Administrator for continuing to maintain this special palce in the world.
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Grief counselors say that the 'stinging' unbearable pain will last about 6-8 weeks.
Then you move into a sort of numb place. The first year, for me, was ALOT of mourning. i mourned every montth on the 18th. I mourned his birthday, his death day and all of the 1st holidays without him.

Posting & reading at LS helped. I bonded with several people here who were suffering with me also. I bought a very good book:

The Loss of a Pet, by Wallace Sife. Very comforting book.

I chose to get professional grief counseling too, as my suffering was really making it hard for me to function normally in those first few months. As it turned out my counselor had recently lost her cat of 18 yrs. She was in the same place I was too. She was much older than me and had lived through many other losses...this was truly my first loss.

And finally, even though I could never 'replace' Zachary, the ACT of literally rescusing a dog from an animal shelter, in honor of Zachary, brought me another degree of comfort.

I found an odd sort of peace in knowing that through Zachary's death, another little soul would be *saved* and be united with ME! I co-existed with this new little rescue dog for months. I gave her a home and tended to her basic needs. quickly I felt HER dependence on me....I could see that i was still needed here and had more work to do for her.

Lucy was saved from an over-crowded animal shelter because of Zachary's passing. That was a VERY comforting thought. She was alwyas a very gentle, loving, low-key dog. very soothing personality. I never felt that she competed in anyway with Zachary's Memory. I never felt like I betrayed him. But i always used to think that it would be so callous of me to 'run out and get a new pet' so quickly after the death of any pet. But here I was, overflowing with grief and desparate to find a meaning in his death.

By *rescuing* Lucy, I truly felt that I had given his death real purpose. For her new life with me was ONLY possible through his passing. One depended on the other.

I wish all of you much healing. Our sweet little one dwells within in our heart now, and they are ever close!!

Soon you will feel them there just like I did, after the truly sharp pain subsides.

In Peace and Healing,
Kathleen
Loving human to
Zachary *daiquiri*
November 8, 1991- June 18th 2001

5 Years Ago Today

Zachary *Daiquiri*
November 8, 1991
June 18th, 2001

You always near me, I will always carry you in my heart. My deep love for you is still very much alive my dear boy. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. You are apart of my life today and for always.

Today i light a candle in your name.
Today I tend your grave.
Today I hold you ever close.
Today i mourn.

I miss you bubbaloo. I love you dear Zachary. I will always love you.
xoxoxoxox
your devoted human, Kathleen