My #1 Guy

I just stumbled onto this site yesterday and read a lot of people's stories, and of course cried a whole lot more. I seem to be under better control today and I feel like sharing Keoki's story, regardless if people read it or not.

Nearly 8 years ago I really wanted a pet. I figured a dog was too much responsibility (even though I really wanted one) and I mistakenly thought I didn't like cats (shock! horror!) I finally decided on a ferret. Since they are illegal in California, I found a pet store all the way in Arizona to go buy one. Ok, so the day comes and off I go. Nearly 7 hours later here I am in the middle of nowhere, in this pet store with a toothless woman for a clerk. And lots and lots of ferrets. And guess what? I didn't like them so much in person! (no offense to ferret lovers) As I turned to begin my long trek back home I see this box on the floor with three kittens: one gray one not moving at all (catatonic?) a white one who kept putting his whole head in the water bowl (uuh..a little out of it?) and this tiny little black speck who would not stop running, jumping, and begging for my attention. At this point it was like, why not? I came all this way. And so began our friendship.

I could tell you all of Keoki's quirky habits...oh ok, I'll tell you a few. With this cat, absolutely impossible to sleep with feet sticking out. For him it was fair game to attack. What no food? Down goes the bowl (and breaks) on the floor. Impossible to read a book if he wanted attention, he would come and sit right on top of it. But he was always so easily forgiven with those lovey dovey eyes. Until, of course, he'd had enough and out would come the claws.

That was the thing about Keoki. He was not a little saint. He bit, scratched, and definately showed you his bad mood. Oh but how he could be a sweetie too! Incredible. So many lonely times in my life he was there with me. I can easily say that he was my best friend, my #1 guy. That cat and I just got each other.

Anyway, to the tragic end. He wandered off last Friday, something that he did all the time. Impossible to keep that cat inside, he would always find a way to get out and that was the way he was. Friday afternoon was the last time I saw him. By Saturday night I was getting a little anxious - not so much because he had gone for a couple of days before, but because it was cold and I wanted my baby home. After numerous searches shaking his food bin, nothing. Sunday morning is when I got the call. An angel had picked him off the street and rushed him to the emergency vet, shelled out $800 of her own money to begin ER services, and called me. To this day I will always remember this person who had the amazing kindness to pick up a stranger's cat and rush him to the vet.

Then came decision time. ER services was a hefty $4000-6000 tab. I know that rationally I should have let him go then and there but how impossible is it to make that call? So out came the credit cards. After 5 horrible hours, my little guy passed away. They say he was hit by a car but there were no fractures, just internal bleeding. I've gone through denial, anger (people were standing around my dying cat for 2 hours before the angel girl showed up!), crying uncontrollably, and I know it's not over by far.

I don't know what I'm going to do without that little guy. I will love him forever. And ever. Words cannot describe.

Thank you for reading.

***oxox -C