You came to me seven years ago on a beautiful sky blue Mother's Day. You were a dear little bundle of gray and white fur with the cutest big ears you eventually grew into, and such a sweet sparkle in your eyes, what an adorable little kitten you were. I knew as soon as I saw you that I was yours and you were mine, and when I reached out to you and held you, you seemed to just melt right into my arms, it was as though you knew you were home. You were born on a boat and you spent your first few weeks on that boat, perhaps that is why whenever I would turn on a faucet, you would come running to dip your little paw underneath, you were so comfortable around the water, my little sailor kitty.

When we first went to your doctor, I was stunned and saddened to learn that you had a serious heart problem, and that you most likely would not make it even two more weeks. I remember coming home from work each day and calling out your name, so very scared that one day you would not come, but you always did, and it seemed as though you were getting bigger and stronger with every passing day. Your doctors were so incredibly surprised several months later to see that you were now completely healed, and you were the picture of health, oh yes, you were my little miracle. I can't help but feel that you knew how very much you were loved, and you fought so very hard to stay here with me just a little bit longer, and every single day we shared with each other was a wonderful gift.

We had such fun together you and I, you used to love to lay on the windowsill and watch the snowflakes fall, and you would often reach out that dear little paw to me and put it on my shoulder, you always wanted to be connected to me. Even when we would go to the clinic, you would reach that little paw of yours out of the carrier just so I could hold it, and it made both of us feel so much better.You used to love to wait for me to come home from work so I could scoop you up in my arms and tell you how very much I had missed you, and how very happy I was to be home with you again. You and your brother Jingles were so close, and very often I would find you two cuddled up together in the evenings sound asleep.

In early February, I noticed that all of a sudden you were having trouble eating and even walking, so I rushed you to your doctor and found out that this was not a heart problem, but a neurological issue, and the prognosis was not good, still I did not give up and neither did you. I tried so very hard to save you, and you tried so very hard to stay here with me, you fought the good fight my sweet boy, but you were hurting so badly, that I had to make the hardest decision I have ever made in my entire life ... I had to love you enough to let you go.

Our last moments together will never leave me, when I held you in my arms and kissed your little head, and I told you through my tears to wait for me just on the other side of the rainbow, and in our last seconds together, I saw in your eyes a glint of recognition, you knew I was right there with you, holding you and loving you, until our very last goodbye. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you my dear Jasper, and I miss you more than words could ever say. Jingles misses you too, very often I will find him sitting and just staring at the front door, I think he is still waiting for you to come back home.

Thank you my sweet Jasper for coming into my life and finding me, and I want to let you know that I would not trade one single moment of our seven precious years together, the beautiful joy and happiness of knowing and loving you so far outweighs the pain and sadness of losing you. You inspired me in every sense of the word with your sweetness, your strength, your unconditional love, and your amazing spirit. All of these first without you are so very hard, but every single day will be filled with the beautiful and special memories you gave me, and I hope you know that even though I may not be able to reach out and touch you, you are always by my side and forever in my heart. I hope that you know that someone down here loves you so very, very much and will never ever forget you and all of the love you left behind, my sweet little miracle kitty, my faithful companion, my dearest friend ... until we meet again.

Hi, jaspersmom, thank you so very much for sharing your beautiful heart filled love letter to your beloved Jasper with us in celebration of your Mother's Day. Although the adjustment to our physical separation from our beloved companions when they precede us to the angels is a very painful and difficult journey, the good news is they are always and forever a part of our hearts and memories - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Jingles kindly, jaspersmom, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jasper's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Jaspersmom - it's been a while since I've visited the forum after losing my beloved Mission. But, I read your post which would have been exactly 2 months to the date of March 11 when I, too, had to send my beloved boy on over the bridge. The most painful thing I think I've ever had to do. I miss him terribly. But, I have not cried for a while...though, I did lose another cat, Luna, just 6 weeks later on April 27th.

I didn't post about Luna on the forum as I am so emotionally drained after losing Mission that I just didn't feel the loss of her nearly as much as with him. She was not a sweet, loving cat like he was, either. (She was a rescued feral.) But, I felt badly for her and it was not an easy passing....

This has been a painful, painful Spring for us. Your posting to Jasper was just so beautiful, it brought more tears to me, once again...in a remembering way. And, in a way that I know we share this common bond of the loss of such a beloved family member. So, I grieve for you and me and the others here on this forum.

To date, I still have a memorial set up in my bedroom, in the corner on the vanity where he last slept. I still have his bed on the floor under the window shadowed by the Cypress trees. I still have trouble sleeping in the room without him there. I still talk to him every morning and evening and whenever I'm in the room, and I will forever carry around my locket/urn pendant with his picture and tuft of fur wherever I go....

Your sincere, loving words to your Jasper just touched my heart. You could not have expressed it any better. I know Jasper will forever be with you in your heart, as I know Mission will be in mine. We were both so blessed to have such wonderful, precious lives that were entrusted to us to care for. We did the very best we could for them...all in all. They had the best of care, the best of love. Hugs to you and Jasper....from me and Mission.....

Hi OnAMission,
Thank you so very much for your kind and thoughtful post to my letter to Jasper. I know how very much you must miss your Mission, two months without him certainly must feel like forever to you. I know that these three months I have been without my Jasper have gone by ever so slowly. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your kitty Luna, and my heart goes out to you, but I really do understand where you are coming from when you write that you were so emotionally drained from saying goodbye to Mission, that you just didn't feel this loss nearly as deep as with him. That is sad to hear that her passing was not an easy one, and I feel so very badly for you that you had to experience yet another loss, and oh yes, it has been a painful, painful spring for the both of us.

I must say that the garden memorial you set up for your Mission was just such a sweet and precious way to remember him, and keep his beautiful spirit with you always. That is so good that you talk to him quite often, I do the same with Jasper, and it does seem to help, and I can't help but feel that somehow, someway, they are still able to hear us and feel our love. Your locket pendant with Mission's picture and tuft of fur is such a nice idea to honor and cherish his memory, and keep him close to your heart forever. When our little ones go off to the bridge, it is amazing how such little things can mean so very much and be so comforting, such as a tuft of their fur, a favorite blanket of theirs, or even a little collar with their name tag on it.

A few friends have asked why I have not adopted another cat yet, and I just explain to them that I feel it is nowhere near time for me. My cat Jingles is doing much better, and I am focusing on him and giving him all of my undivided attention and love. It is interesting at how the very beginning of this grief journey for me, how I sometimes thought I was ready to get another cat, and it seemed as though I was so drawn to any cat that looked just like my Jasper. I am really glad that I waited, because I know now that I was trying so very hard to fill the void and the empty space here in my heart and my home, and it would never have worked. I do admire anyone though who has the strength and compassion to open their home to another little one who so needs them after such a loss as ours, and maybe one day I too will be ready, but I am not there yet. The tears have subsided somewhat, but that sadness and that feeling that part of me is missing still remains, and I suppose that will stay with me forever, when they leave I do think that they take a little piece of our hearts right with them.

Thank you OnAMission for your very sweet and beautiful words about my letter to Jasper, and yes it was written straight from my heart. You are so right that we were both so blessed to have such wonderful and precious lives that were entrusted to our care, and we did do the very best we could for them. I know we would have moved heaven and earth to keep them here with us longer, but it was just not meant to be. I found a little quote the other day that really touched my heart and I think it applies so very well to both of us, and actually anyone who comes to this forum who is hurting and in pain. "Hold the love like a little light, sometimes it is all we have, or will ever have, to find our way back home." We just need to hold onto that wonderful and special love they left with us, and you know what, I bet they are in that new beautiful world right now, holding onto all of the love we gave them like a little light, just waiting for the day when we come back home to them. Hugs to you and Mission.....from me and Jasper.....