Three Weeks And Still Healing

It has now been three weeks since I lost my best friend Niko. I have shed thousands of tears and I still ask myself all those questions that we beat ourselves up with..."If only", I should have", etc. The emptiness in my house is unbelievable.

Niko was a pug, a small dog, yet she filled our house with so much love. I still look for her wherever I go and the funny thing is...it still surprises me sometimes that she is not there.

Niko left me with three baby pugs to raise. They are now four weeks old and doing so well, even the vet is surprised. They are my tribute to Niko, knowing she would want me to do everything I could to make them strong and give them good lives. I am doing that for my Niko, My Baby Girl.

I even opened a memorial at RainbowBridge.com and will keep it open for her as long as I am around to do so. All of this has helped me heal, though I still have a long way to go.

Thank you for letting me ramble...this site has been such a great help...I miss her so much

http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/NIKO007/Resident.htm

Lisa
"Niko's Mom"

Niko's Babies

I have been caring for my baby girl pug, Niko's puppies since her passing on October 15th. They are now just shy of four weeks old and doing wonderfully. I have one girl and two boys. I will be keeping the little girl, named Echo because she looks so much like her mommy and one of the little boys. These puppies are little pieces of my Niko and they will be extremely spoiled.

Lisa
"Niko's Mom"

A Great Pet Loss Book

There is a book that I think would help so many people and I wanted to post it here for all to see.

The book is called "Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates" and the author is Gary Kurz

I hope this will help others.

Lisa
Niko's Mom

In Memory Of Niko

My 4 year old pug, Niko passed away on Monday during an operation to spay as a result of infection. This was all really a complication of pregnancy, because I really wanted her to be a mom. Niko always took care of strays, even stray kittens and I wanted her to have her own. I wasn't ready to let her go and it was a sudden death, leaving me feeling guilty. I keep thinking maybe I could have made better decisions, I might still have her if I hadn't wanted puppies, so many what ifs and should haves.

I am slowly getting over the guilt. I bought memorial items and an urn for my special friend and kept all her pictures right where they have always been. I sleep with her favorite traveling pillow; the one she always used on long trips as she went everywhere with me. People use to joke that we were one being.

I try to look at her pictures and toys now and think about the funny things she did, the good times we had, and how much we love each other. This helps when the tears start and my family has been wonderful, but at night, when it's quiet like this I need to vent to stay sane.

I try to concentrate on the fact that the three puppies she left for me to care for need me now more than ever and I take the best care of them that I possibly can as a memorial to her and because they are helping my heart heal. The two I am keeping will never take Niko's place and I don't expect them to, but having them makes me feel that much closer to her.

To whoever reads this...Thank you for letting me ramble. I don't know if I made much sense, but I feel better putting it down on this post.

Lisa (Niko's Mom)