I had to put my dear cat of nineteen years down last Friday, I had him since seven weeks. It is so painful, how.do you cope with such a deep loss
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Kirsty- My heart breaks with you today as I also lost our cat of 20 years earlier this week. I think you have come to the right place to get some words of encouragement. It has helped me to just read other's stories and know that I am not alone in this terrible grieving process. My only advice at this point is to try to find a place in your mind to go where the memories are good ones of your beloved kitty cat. Trust me, I feel your pain and I don't know that there is an easy answer to the grief and sadness as it is a journey we have to go through. I am sure you did all that you could for your kitty and I have come to the realization this week that while it was a terribly difficult decision to make, it was made out of love and you provided your kitty with safe passage to a place where there is no more pain for him. While it has only been 4 days for us, the sadness and emptiness is there every second of the day. I decided to write my cat, Mike, a letter yesterday and as I cried writing it, it forced me to remember all the wonderful things about him that made him so special in our lives. I actually found myself smiling and even laughed at one point recalling something he did when he was younger.
Some advice our vet gave us before we had to send our Mike over the Rainbow Bridge was that for 20 years you loved him. Because you loved him so much and took such good care of him, he is a medical phenomenon by being 20 years old (98 years old in people years) and you have to make this final decision for him. No way I wanted Mike to be in any pain whatsoever. He had given us 20 full years of joy, love, and fullfillment and it was not fair to him for us to allow him to be in any pain for our own selfish reasons. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I still struggle with doubt and guilt and if we made the right decision at the right time. It brought me literally to my knees, but my vet quickly told me to try to compose myself as my outpouring of grief would surely be noticed by our little Mike. Once the decision was made (did I mention it was the hardest thing I ever did), the vet invited us to hold him while she gave him some happy juice to help him drift off into a deep sleep and once he was asleep, she allowed us another 10 minutes with him before helping him to cross over to the Perfect World. I know she grieved with us and wanted so much to give us better news and tell us that she could fix him right up, but it was not to be. I also know after caring for him for over 5 years, she loved him too.

Please know that you are not alone. I have found this site to be uplifting and I get joy out of knowing that so many people love their pets and are willing to share their stories of loss with the rest of us to help us through these dark times. I keep telling myself that time heals all wounds, but am learning that time moves very slow. My heart goes out to you in your time of sorrow. There will be others with more experience to write you and help you, but I passed by your post and remembered just yesterday that I registered here and felt a degree of desperation waiting for someone to give me some words of help.

Together in grief,
Steve

Hi, kirsty, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved companion. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Kirsty, you ask a universal question: "how do you cope with such a deep loss?" This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. There are no fast forward or delete buttons to press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure. Please let me reassure you that you do not make this journey alone. Each of us here understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

In the midst of your deep sorrow, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved companion share. Love is eternal, it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, kirsty - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Kirsty, thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved companion with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, kirsty, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam