It's been 6 months since I saw your cute little face. So long since I called you my sweet, sweet, Sweety Pie. We never left you for even an entire day, how can it be so long since I have seen you? Held you, smelled you, kissed you?

I keep thinking of seeing your little face the first time in that pet store, how small and adorable you were. Of taking you home with me and putting you in the bend of my elbow, letting you sleep there while I tickled your tummy. More than 10 years ago. I wish so much I would have known you were only going to be with me 10 years, so many things I would have done differently.

We have a candle lit for you, and your lamp. We got flowers to put near your urn. They look pretty. I wish I could go back a couple of years and just do them over, with you. Some days I still don't think I can live without you. We still have Autumn, she misses you too. We have a new guy too. It's funny that the house still seems empty without you in it. You had such a huge soul, you filled up our house and our hearts.

It so odd that it's 6 months today, the 23rd again, AND a Monday. Daddy is just going off call again too. It's so much the same as the day you left us it just feels un-real. I'm counting the hours until the time you went too.

Why did we only get 10 years with you? Why did you leave us? We wanted you to stay so much. Who takes care of you now baby? I miss you so much. I though I was doing okay, accepting what I HAVE to accept, but this weekend I kinda lost it again. My birthday is comming up on Saturday and I don't want it. (Of course when did I ever want a birthday)? I just want you. I can't stop crying.

So good morning buddy, I hope so much you are happy. I can't wait to see you again.

Mommy loves you so much, she always will

I just wanted to say I read your post & I will think of you and your loved one today.

God Bless you Lori.......

Dear Lori, how sad, the dreaded 6 months is officially here for you today. I know how hard that day will be for you. I will try to send you positive waves. It's almost unreal and still so hard to accept. My story is similar to yours about Butch and Alex, except my beautiful Felix was the first to go On Oct. 12 at 13 years old then my soulmate Yukon of the same age followed three weeks later on November 2, 2006. The other day I saw kittens who reminded me of my babies when I got them in from a pet shop in November '93. Since no one was around I allowed myself to cry a bit as I looked at them; one of them blinked at me in a loving way, as if even so little he understood what I was remembering. He will become someone's special cat I'm sure, some cats are above others, guess this is why they make such an impression on our souls. But it's so so hard when they go on to the next level and we are left to live our lives with the blind faith and desperate hope that there will be another time where we will be together again. Hope Moose will soothe you today with beautiful messages of hope.

Lori

Thinking of you and your beautiful Moose boy today. The candle and flowers sounds lovely. I know that he is still with you, every day, even though you can't seem him or touch him.

10 years together isn't nearly long enough.

Hugs

Paula

Dear Lori,
My heart aches for you... it will be 4 months for me on the 25th, seems surreal and so wrong...how do we get used to this? I don't know but it is sure hard, you are in my thoughts today, Moustache is so cute too...obviously a special guy...peace to you today.. Lots of love, Tory, Hrudey's Momma

John

Thank you, I am thinking of your family too.


Felix and Yukon's Mommy

I'm so sorry you lost two so close, I know how bad that feels. You go from a family to none so fast, it's hard to cope. I wish no one had to find a way through, but we are stronger for having made it.

Alleys Mama

Thanks for your kind words, as always. You are so wise. No 10 years isn't enough, but you didn't even get that. Thinking of you and Alley too.

Hrudey's Momma

I don't know how to get used to it. Some days are okay now, you know? But some are still so hard. We just have to accept and move on. Thanks for saying Moose was cute, we sure thought so. We were so proud of him, like we had anything to do with it.

Love to all

I can't believe how similar all of our feelings and experiences are. I can't imagine 6 months..I'm only at 3 on the 25th of this month, but it feels like forever. I know you're hurting so much and looking at the beautiful photos, I can see why. What a character.

Every moment without them is an eternity, and I understand why you don't want your birthday to come. I don't even like it when it is nice out - signs of spring- because it's another season away from him.

I love that you have flowers near the urn, and that you lit a candle, and that your devotion is as strong now as it was 10 years ago. You're right - it isn't nearly long enough.

What a wonderful mom you are....I don't know what you would have done differently as you gave (and still give) so much love.

My thoughts & hugs are with you..

Jen

Dear Lori,
No words can ease the pain, it is just so unfair that your beloved Moose only had 10 years with you. I know how you feel about wishing you had known that - even though Furry was so ill I still didn't really accept that she wouldn't be with me for years longer. Like you I think about what I would have done differently - probably never have left the house!
You have those wonderful memories of him as a baby, I didn't get to see Furry as a baby, which is a shame, but she didn't adopt us until she was about a year old.
Moose is gorgeous, I hope you got through the 23rd.
Judith

Mo & Maisie's Mom

Spring is hard. Just being out in the yard is hard. I see him everywhere in the yard and I don't know why it's so much harder outside than in. He loved outside so much.

Some of the things I would have done differently if I had know were things like, we had his teeth cleaned about 2 months before he passed. What did it really matter? I would have spared him the fright and pain. (He had to have a couple of teeth out). There were times he wanted to play, and I was too busy. I had NOTHING to do that was more important than him. Just regret I know, there are always things we could have done, more we could have done.

I know how much you miss Mo, it's just so hard without them. You are such a great mom too.

Furrys Mum

I know the feeling of never wanting to leave the house or them. Moose was sick all his 10 years starting about 10 days after we got him. In my head I knew we could lose him at anytime and that it is a wonder we got him through 10 years. In my heart I never accepted that. The funny thing is we were so sure he was going to leave at any time for so many years, then we found homeopathy and he was doing so much better. The last two years we had relaxed and started to believe he would be with us a while. Sad isn't it? Stupid and sad. Such is life I guess.

He was such a cute baby. We have a video of his first Christmas, he was about 3 months old. OMG it's so cute and so happy/sad to watch. I made it through yesterday, now I'll work on today.

My Butch kitty, who passed 10 years ago and was my very best friend in this life was about a year old when I got him too. I still regret not seeing him as a baby. Wow I know Furry made the cutest kitten, she was such a gorgeous cat.



Love

6 months, and it probably seems like LONGER. I think the 6 month anniversary has got to be tough. And others here are right-10 years is no where near enough to enjoy him........

Don't worry about getting his teeth cleaned, you had no way of knowing ahead of time and by getting his teeth cleaned you were being a good Mommy.

And also don't worry about not playing enough. I felt guilty because I was painting my daughter room a month before Misty died. I was so preoccupied I didn't pay as much attention to him as I normally would have. But how could any of us know? Like you I had tricked myself into thinking he be around forever......

What you need to do is focus on all you did do for him, all the fun you had. I know our pets understand that we may have said no once in a while....

It sounds like you took such good care of him that he lived the 10 years he did. That was such love you showed by taking such good care of him with his condition. And it sounds like he had fun, too. So hug yourself for being such a great parent.

I know none of this eases the 6 month mark, but all I can say is I'm thinking of you this week.....

Hugs, Amy

I am so sorry these feelings came flooding back on you, especially now after you thought you were OK & things seemed to return to normal (the "new" normal, I guess). Having other furbabies around does help to ease the pain somewhat, but the beauty of these creatures is that they all have their own personalities & I think I am starting to realize that the pain I'm feeling right now after losing Peaches is a burden I will carry for awhile, no matter what my sweet dog does to try to make me smile.

You should not regret missing one second of the 10 awesome years you spent with Moose. Had we known what was coming, as you suggested, we would have all quit our jobs, set aside our lives & confined ourselves to our homes so we could spend unending time with them.....sounds tempting, but not very practical! I really do think they understand & respect the fact that sometimes we are too busy or tired to play. This does NOT in any way take away from the love we have for them.....& they know this.......I believe that from the bottom of my heart.

Your handsome Moose was a tough little cookie!!! He sure knew how good he had it, the fact that he was sick & stuck it out for 10 years is living proof of that!!!

Try not to be hard on yourself right now, OK????

You are in my thoughts & prayers.

Kim

Amy (Misty's Mama)

It seems like forever since I saw that cute little face. I had to wash it every day, to get puke off, it's funny how much I miss doing that. Some days is seems like we didn't really have him, like it was all a dream. A wonderful dream full of love.

I know it's silly to regret now not playing enough. I think we all do it. Think of the things we could have done and didn't do. His daddy almost never said no, but I did sometimes. I tell myself he had a great life, lots of fun and good food, even if he was sick sometimes.

Hoping/wishing they will be around forever, yeah we all do that I think. After having my Butch kitty for 21 years, he was 22 when he died, I guess I had messed up ideas of how long you were supposed to have them, you know?

Kim (Peaches Mom)

You just never know what is going to set you off, it's a hard time. You go through some days and you think, it's okay I got it covered, and bam. Since I've been through this before I know the first year is very unstable. Some good days and some bad days. Having other babies with you is a life saver, but doesn't stop the pain.

I miss a cat yelling at me and demanding things. Moose was SO demanding and we just loved it. Our guys now are much quieter. It seems funny to tell a cat, "what a good boy for telling me with your voice". LOL our new kitten is so quiet. He came to me and said meow in a tiny voice yesterday, he wanted attention. It was a big deal he talked at all.

Even if I knew how sick he was going to be and how much time he was going to take when I got him, I would still have brought him home. I don't regret one second of the time I had with him. He was so full of love, he just shone with it.

He was a tough guy, he made it through some really awful times, when I didn't see how he could live. I guess that's what makes it so hard, we had gotten to expect he would pull through, no matter how bad it looked. Then one day he didn't. I couldn't even understand when the vet said they couldn't find a heartbeat, I couldn't make that make sense. I guess I just miss him.

Love

Dear Lori,
Reading about Moose being sick all the time from when he was a baby, reminded me about Furry's other illness. From the age of about 4 until she was about 9 she suffered from chronic diarrhoea. No matter what food we tried, or what medication, she would be O.K. for a few days, then would get tummy ache & the runs. We would hear her growling, & she would hide away from us because she knew what was coming next - the bottom washing! Funny that I always got the bottom & those furry trousers to wash, while my husband held her head. She used to chew on his hand, but never bit or scratched him. Then it would be on with the Elizabethan collar to stop her washing herself raw, which she did do as her tongue was very rough! So you had the face washing & I had the bottom washing, but it only makes you love them more, doesn't it?
When that cleared up of it's own accord we really thought that she would be with us for a very long time, but the heart disease struck only the next year. I suppose that like you with Moose, the fact that they have been ill for so long means that you come to believe they will always recover, no matter how bad it gets. We had two little fighters- didn't we?
It was nine months on the 23rd since she's been gone.
Judith

Yeah, I was naively thinking he'd be playing in the backyard with my daughter when she was 10. Like Moustache he had ongoing health problems that needed constant care and attention; and he didn't even make it to my daughter's arrival. IT's funny how we can trick ourselves into thinking they'll be around forever if we love them enough. I know that's what I did.

10 years is still not enough.....my heart really goes out to you. Still thinking of you, Amy

Furrys Mum

We did have two little fighters, bless them. It seems when we have ones we have to take care of so much, we get so close to them. Poor Furry and her 'bottom washing'. Moose had the long fur too, so we did our share of bottom washing also. It makes you closer to them and you miss doing it, even though we grumbled about it when we had to do it.

I didn't realize we shared that date. The 23rd is not a happy day for me anymore. Nine months for you, I'm so sorry. I think every once in a while of the picture you posed of Furry on the garden bench, flowers all around and a glass of wine beside her. I like to think all our babies are in such a wonderful place now.

Misty's Mommy

Like the poem says "If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died'. If only love WAS enough....

I think the three of us had three little fighters. Moose, Furry and Misty are at the very least now, well. That is some comfort for me.

Honey I didn't know you had a new baby. Here I've been thinking your daughter was like 5. I guess I missed something somewhere, sorry. Congrats on the new baby! Wow the emotions you must be going through, grief and great joy. What a changed reality for you. It must be so hard.

Love