Nicole's Story Options

[nicole'smom]

Hi Furkidlets' Mom
I just cracked right up when I read your words: "I've had friends (now former), relatives (now cut off) and acquaintances (dumped). Beauty! LOL Not that I'm glad you had those experiences, but it feels good to know I'm not alone. I've had the exact same response from family members, who in my case feigned (though they thought they were quite convincing) sympathy for Nicole and me and couldn't wait to change the subject to 'what was realy important and interesting'. But god that had to hurt when the couple, knowing of your sorrow, sent you nothing but a FWD about a little girl being saved in the same season as your baby lost hers. I'm sorry to hear that. Joanne, too, has had more than her share of people trivializing not only her feelings, but the value of her animal companions.

You're right, me too-it only really matters to me that I recognize the great dignity of my sons and daughters. Truly.

Would that animal activist you're referring to be Mark Hawthorne and his book 'Striking at the Roots"?

Thanks for saying that I would forgive Nicole if her and I were to change places. And yes, I would, in a heartbeat. In fact there'd be nothing to forgive, I'd know it was unintentional. And you're right my sleeping was unintentional, too. What I bitterly resent is that my d*** insomnia didn't kick in and make itself useful on the only night I could'a used its company! It's been such a faithful companion since I was 8 years old. You'd think it could make its usual visit on this night of nights. Joking aside, it's not guilt I feel but a singular anguish from my baby. Your last sentence in that paragraph struck the very chord I experienced: " PLUS, I'd be more alert the next day, for HER sake as much as mine--once once, as equal partners in our lifetime love affair." Beautifully said and true for Nicole and me, too. Kisses to Nissa from us. And I'm sorry for your loss of her, Furkidlets' Mom.

[nicole'smom]

Hi Joanne

I really like the question you asked your family member: Is it really wrong to love another species as deeply as we are supposedly taught to love our own? I admire you for having the courage to confront him/her with that very profound question. Most of my family claim to and do have affection for SOME non-humans. My mother was my first model for loving cats and dogs. But even at that, they had their place to her, and it wasn't equal to humans. I've always had a strong affinity for animals and didn't see a boundary separating them from humans. And that perspective has stayed with me and deepened all my life. I have to be honest, I can no longer bear to be in the company of anyone who has the slightest disrepect for animals.

And, oh yeah, the whole "animals have no souls". Yeah, that gem. I grew up a Catholic and was taught that animals had no soul. I was belittled for loving animals. But mostly I was shamed and made to feel guilty for loving them so deeply. It's an important part of the reason I left the church. Unfortunately I'm still intimidated to speak as strongly and directly as you do in the defense of animals and my love for them. Maybe time in your company, and that of Furkidlets' Mom, Jorge,and some of the other members here, I can feel more empowered to give them a stronger voice too. The concept of a soul is a human construct - (from the Gk-psyche, Latin-anima)-that which animates, breath-which ALL life has. The church molded it into something only humans had- how nice of them! So, yeah, Joanne, to answer your question, either we all (non-human and human) have a soul or none of us do.

You're right-people do like to project their expectations onto others. Peope try to guide me into the 'right and sensible way of thinking about animals' too, and how I should be spending my time and money. And like you said, they'd be quick to take offence if i turned the tables on them. We're each individuals, with our own set of values and priorities. Good on you, as the Aussies would say, Joanne. You just keep on keepin' on, my friend.

[nicole'smom]

Thanks for the link, Joanne! You know what I like about you is that you've always said in your posts how smart animals are, and that we homo sapiens who think we're the only ones who are, could learn alot from other species. I've always thought that too. If we really listen to them, especially the ones we share our homes with because they're so close to us, we'd be really amazed at what they teach us. As you've always pointed out, they not only understand but live unconditional love and can show us the way. And forgiveness, I'm still nursing grudges from times in my past. My babies are free. They know how to let go and they have a lot more to forgive than I do. Furkidlets' Mom, too, said something I really like about how they help make us who we are. I hadn't thought about that before she said it.

I always call my companions my babies and have been very protective of them. One day, my little guy, Micalen (who has since died), looked at me after one of my doting sessions as if to say, "Mom, I'm an adult too!" It was just something that passed between us. I told him I was sorry for not recognizing that. It really changed the way I related to him. But he'll always be my baby boy, too.

Exactly, you bet we're all animals. And I'm proud of it! I like your points about the differences between non-human and human animals. Like someone pointed out to me once, we humans think we're so intelligent, but in order to do a job that requires team work, we have to have conferences, phone calls, messaging, etc, etc. And we still get it wrong a lot of the time. When lionesses want to hunt down a gazelle, without a word, each takes her place to trap and kill the unfortunate animal. And they seldom miss. We could use a little humility, to be sure! Lesser animals, indeed! LOL

Thanks for your warmth and friendship, Joanne. It's pulled me through a lot of pain, knowing i could share with you. Kisses to Rassy cat, Howard, mew and all your other furkids. And take care of your body there, like yo docta tell yu! Lynda

[Furkidlets' Mom]

You might like this one, Lynda....click here.

[nicole'smom]

Thank you so much, Furkidlets' Mom. I listened to the song you sent me while I looked at Nicole's picture on the Tribute page. So many words in it (The little things that seemed so small are now like gold...and I cherish every one) moved me to tears. You've come much farther than me, I took so much for granted. Bless you, Nissa, and Sabin.

[ann]

I was thinking about what you said about having trouble sleeping except on the night Nicole passed. Did you ever think that maybe she didn't want you to be awake? That was the first thing that came to my mind. I remember hearing years ago, cats have a tendency to not want to be near us when it is their time. A cat pride thing I guess. I honestly believe that's what she did to not upset you..Just a thought..and I'm glad you like my story. Now that the shock wore off, that is a gift he gave me that day and one I'll always treasure. Just wish I could get past the fact that I did the right thing still, even though he told me I did...Hugs.. Ann

[nicole'smom]

I did think that, Ann. (That Nicole may not have wanted me to be awake.) In fact, I said to her, the only way I can be at peace is if you didn't want me to be with you when you died. You are my child and I honor your choice. But if you wanted me awake with you through your dying, the pain of not being with you is intolerable. (I'm all busted up even now as I write this, I loved her so much. Oh to turn back the hands of time knowing what I do now.)
Yes, I loved your story about Arthur and his sign cat. That was amazing that he only appeared once, and only on that day, and his rolling contentedly on his back. It actually adds credence to your seeing him as a sign of reassurance from Arthur. But the shooting star postcard, too, felt very powerful to me. Thank you for sharing Arthur's story. Hugs..Lynda

[ann]

Hi Lynda, I know your pain all too well. I put myself in your position, what if I were awake and watched her knowing there was nothing I could do. It is a battle of head and heart for sure. Frustrating. My Daisy was put down without me knowing many years ago. She was my soulmate cat. I loved her more than anything in the world, and I mean anything. 16yrs later I never recovered from it. I wanted to be with Arthur when it was time, but the pain of putting him down, being there, watching it, man, that was just as horible if not more so than not being with Daisy. There are sooo many things we wish to go back in time and change, so many things. So many things we have to move on and recover from and a lot of it is our own guilt that we feel which we shouldn't.
I still feel Nicole passed peacefully, knowing you were not going to go thru the stress of seeing her. She was next to you where she wanted to be. She did not want to see you sad. Believe in that with all your heart...Hugs..Ann

[nicole'smom]

Thank you so much Ann. That means alot to me, knowing it comes from someone who has loved as you did Daisy and also Arthur. I wish you all the best in life. Your words have really touched me tonight. Hugs...Lynda