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geese
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Joined: 20-July 08
Profile Views: 754*
Last Seen: 28th October 2009 - 10:26 PM
Local Time: Mar 29 2024, 03:39 AM
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geese

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3 Sep 2008
Hi everyone,

I really thought I was doin' better, but tonight I broke down. It been since July 19th that my bunny is gone, and I just lost it all over again... I just heard "Tears in Heaven" by Clapton, and that was it........ I'm a wreck again, after I thought I was getting over it....

Hope you are all OK, I'm sending my love to everyone. It hurts, but I know you guys understand.

Geese
27 Aug 2008
Hi everyone,

I started pouring my heart out here about 5 weeks ago, when I lost my little man, Max. The world looked gray and dismal, and I cried my heart out for a while, non-stop. I want you all to know that it does get easier, as time goes on, and your pain will lessen, IF YOU ALLOW IT!! I made myself cry, by torturing myself listening to really sad songs, and staring at his picture, until one day I realized that he wouldn't want this for me. I loved, I gave, I tried to be the best Mom I could, and I know in my heart that he knew that until the bitter end.

I found forgiveness, somehow, and I feel alot better knowing that I can go on with his beautiful memories that he left me, which will be in my heart and mind always. I still think about him everyday, and I miss him so very dearly, but the torture I put on my heart has lessened knowing that I had that beautiful, kind, gentle little soul in my life for 10 years.

God bless all the little babies that have to go to heaven and leave us, but we will go on....... We have the gift of love they left us forever.

Geese
15 Aug 2008
Tonight hit me like a ton of bricks.... It'll be 4 weeks tomorrow that my little man is gone, and it took me this long to clean up the stupid mess I left lying around since then. I had this little blanket which I laid him on, of course on top of some hefty bags, because he couldn't hold his own pee, and I just left it there since then. I couldn't bring myself to touch it, because it kind of made me feel like a part of him was still there, but an empty space, of course.

Well, needless to say, this broke my heart, and although I have been doing better (or so I thought) I just burst into tears all over again. He's really gone, ..... really gone. God, why does this hurt so much?? I know that it takes time to get over our losses, but the hurt just sucks.....

Anyway, I guess you guys all are going through, or have went through my same feelings.

Just wanted to vent, to some friends that understand. Thanks to you all who read this and are there for me. Much love to all.

Geese
11 Aug 2008
Hi everyone,

I'm going to make this short, I feel numb. I don't know if I'm trying to avoid my loss, or If I am getting over it!!

I still cry, when I need to, but I haven't cried as much. Am I cried out?? I don't know what's wrong with me.

I hope that I am healing. Is it too soon to feel a little better, or relieved?? I know I did the best thing I could for my little man, and a part of me keeps saying, go on, don't cry anymore. What happened was the inevitable, I had no other choice.

He's in heaven, and I know he knows Mommy did the right thing. Am I right, or am I crazy??
2 Aug 2008
Hi everyone,

It's Geese again, and I just want to say that tomorrow will be 2 weeks that my best man has been gone. I cried again today thinking about all of his silly things he did, and the things I am grateful I can always remember and never forget.

I feel a little better than I did 2 weeks ago, but 2 weeks ago he was still lying here with me as I held his limp little paw in my hand in hopes that the next day the inevitable was not going to happen... 2 weeks ago I could still hold on to my baby, even though I knew his heart was breaking to not be able to return my affection.

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. My special man is gone, forever. I miss him every day, I think about his beautiful soul all the time, and I cherish the memories he has left me.

I really think that time does heal all wounds, and the pain and anger does lift. It's still hard to accept, but death is a part of living. If you at least had a beautiful life, whether is was short or long, it's better than having to live with no love at all.
Unconditional love is the best kind to have, and to give. God bless our little friends who give us so much, so much that no words could ever explain.

Sorry, I'm venting again, but I am trying to heal.. and all you people that listen help so much.

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