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> I Miss You Jake, 5 months today
Forever Jake
post Apr 22 2006, 04:03 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 122
Joined: 10-January 06
From: USA
Member No.: 1,328



wub.gif My beloved Jake,

Five months ago today I held you until you breathed your last. I miss you so much. It hurts so much, Jaker. I keep looking for you when I come home, I keep listening for your "MEOW" when I call home on break. Yesterday I thought I saw you in the field--but it wasn't you. I miss you curling up next to me--and Imiss finding your "treasures" in the yard. sad.gif

Bailey is getting so big--and he acts so much like you--sometimes it is as if you never left. But he and Fritzie-Waffles ar not you, baby. I love them, and they help ease the pain, but noone will ever replace you. You are so special, Jake. I'm getting a white rose bush to put next to your place of rest...this was your favorite time of year, and I keep thinking that "Jake would've"..."If Jake was here"... How I would have loved to have found a cure for your illness...I am so sorry, baby. I am sorry that I didn't know.

Today I was looking at the pond behind the house, where you used to hang out. Could you see me? I know that you have come to visit me, and I know that you have been there when I have been sick...how I wish that I could hold you and pet you again...I miss feeling your head but up against me, I miss you snuggling. I miss your "hugs"...and I miss you cursing daddy and I out in kitty language when we were late coming home and you were hungry. tongue.gif

Jake, I will always, ALWAYS love you. Part of me passed away with you. Your passing has left a hole in my heart, a void in my life that nothing will ever fill. I know that we will someday be reunited, and I know that you are up at the rainbow bridge playing with other kitties, dogs, hamsters, etc...Until we meet again, baby...

I miss you! sad.gif
I will always love you, wub.gif
mommy


--------------------
Sandi, Jake and Bailey's Mommy
I love you boys, and always will. Until we meet again, I will hold you in my heart..
Jake 11/22/05, and Bailey 8/15/07
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LuckyNono
post Apr 22 2006, 07:09 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 74
Joined: 7-April 06
Member No.: 1,530



Jake's mom,
5 months and you are still grieving! Such a beautiful love story.

I lost my baby April 7 and you can just imagine how great the pain I feel. I am sure that although 5 months have passed, the pain has not lessened a bit.

You know, I feel like when my baby left, she took a big part of my heart with her. The pain and hurt is still so fresh and the tears still easily flows down. Oh I wish I could hold my baby again!

Thinking and praying for you, Jake, all the mom and dad in this web site and all our loving pets or soulmates. You will see each other again because the bond is strong that nobody can take it away. That's how I feel with my Lulu.

Take care. I am your friend in grief,
LuckyNono's mom
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Forever Jake
post Apr 23 2006, 07:26 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 122
Joined: 10-January 06
From: USA
Member No.: 1,328



LuckyNono's mom,
Thank you for your kind words. Although it has been 5 months, the pain is still ery real and still very fresh..

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can see the love so evident for your baby in your posts. Like you, I wish I could hold Jake again...and a HUGE part of my heart went with Jake. He was one of our kids--our "first" baby..he just showed up at our new house one day and chose us..we loved him from the moment we saw him.. wub.gif So, the grief is like that of losing a human child or other close family member. Counseling has helped me, as well as friends from this site and lots of prayers. I don't think that I will ever "get over" Jake's passing...especially because it was such a shock to hear that he was sick and nothing could be done..within 3 days Jake went from eating and dirinking to lying lifeless..I was called out of class the night before. I remember crying and praying all the way, asking God not to let Jake die. That night, he was still purring, and I held his paw..actually, he held my hand with his paw..I tried to take my hand away to pet his head, and he just put his nails in my hand, as if to say, "no, mommy, I want you here"...I think that was Jake's way of telling me that he knew we were doing all we could for him, and that he knew we loved him.

I will never forget that final morning, when I got him to the clinic..one of the vets just grabbed him and RAN back to the clinic with him...and I had to go to the office and try to work. When I got the dredded phone call, and had to call my fiance to tell him that Jake was sick and had to be put to sleep, I was a wreck. I work in a medical office, and could not stop crying. I cried in front of my coworkers, in front of patients, I couldn't stop. I had to leave. Todd and I were meeting so that we could go to the vet to say goodbye. I wanted to hold Jake. I had to. I couldn't let him go without his mommy. It was so hard to sign those papers to authorize the euthanization. When the vet brought Jake into the room ,he seemed to perk up, and we both thought "NO! This is a mistake!" But, once Jake was in my arms, he started to go back downhill fast. Todd had to leave. I held him, and told him that daddy and mommy loved him very much, over and over again, until the vet told me that he was gone. I felt Jake's head go limp on my chest. The vet left the room, and I fell to my knees almost, they went weak. When I could muster the strength, I put Jake in the little box..and felt sick. After we left the vet clinic with Jake, I had to go to class..I had to take a midterm. Still to this day, I feel guilty for having to go to class. I cried all the way through it, and, though I did pass the midterm, do not remember any of it...thanksgiving was 2 days away, and I couldn't care less. Christmas and New Years came and went, and I was like a zombie. I still have trouble sleeping at times, but then, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and then, would yell at Todd and we would fight. I withdrew from everyone and everything that I loved. I was angry, I felt like a murderer, you name it...but ALL I wanted was Jake back....
I relaize now that was selfish of me..Jake wouldn't have been able to enjoy life anymore if he was still here, and, he would be in pain all the time, etc...so I am thankful that, although I miss him terribly, Todd and I have happy memories of Jake. It still hurts more than words can say, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through...and I am so sorry that you have to go through it...I will say that I would not trad the time that we had with Jake for anything...for the last months of his life he was loved, spoiled, warm, cared for, had plenty to eat, lots of toys..you name it, Jakey had it. That is one thing that has comforted me also. Knowing that Jake knew love. wub.gif

Please know that I will also be praying for you. Thank you again.

Take care,
Your friend in grief,
Sandi


--------------------
Sandi, Jake and Bailey's Mommy
I love you boys, and always will. Until we meet again, I will hold you in my heart..
Jake 11/22/05, and Bailey 8/15/07
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LuckyNono
post Apr 24 2006, 04:20 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 74
Joined: 7-April 06
Member No.: 1,530



I am so thankful that my husband lets me grieve on my own. Until now, I still bawl for my baby Lucky because the pain is still so tremendous. I still clutch to my baby's bed and blanket all over the house, I still wear her collar as my bracelet. Allso I am planning to build a water garden in her memory and I promised that I, and I alone will work on this project as my own therapy.

I am so happy to know that there's a lot of us who cares our babies as much as we do. And come to think of it, we are all coming from all over the world, yet, we are bounded by the great love and immense grief for our babies.

God bless us all especially our babies,
LuckyNono's mom
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