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> Ok.... 13 Years Later., I still miss him
Missing Kamikazi
post Jun 11 2018, 04:54 PM
Post #1

Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 24
Joined: 8-May 05
From: Houston Texas
Member No.: 876

It has been 13 years since I lost Kamikazi. And I still miss him. My husband says he is the best dog we have ever had, and we have had a lot since we started fostering dogs after Kamikazi died. I figured the best way to honor his memory was to adopt another dog from the shelter.... and that lead to 2.... and 3..... and 4. I have 12 dogs now. All of them small so it is not like they take up a lot of room... except on the bed at night when we sleep. smile.gif I had 14 at one point, but I lost 4 of my furbabies in 6 months last year.

One, my Gizmo....the daughter of Cujo. We got Cujo to keep Cinnamon company after Kamikazi died. Well since she could not be fixed because of reoccuring pyrometria..... They ended up having a litter in 2006. Well... Cujo got fixed RIGHT after that happened as it was never my intention to breed him. So.... we had 6 puppies that were born.... on my birthday in 2006 to Cinnamon and Cujo. Sadly it ended up killing Cinnamon. I probably would have been on here dealing with her passing and feeling terribly guilty about it, had I not had 6 tiny Chihuahua babies to feed. They are worse than kids because as soon as you feed them you have to stimulate them to go to the bathroom. Which is not a problem... but doing this for 6 puppies... by the time you finish... it is time to start all over again. Well... we had Gizmo for a long time and she was my baby. We almost lost her in 2014 when one of my fosters attacked her. Being a small 5 lb dog.... she was thrashed about pretty badly, but 8000 later.... she pulled through. And worth every cent. Well, on 9/11/2017, I came home to her barely clinging to life laying on my bathroom floor. She was not injured in any way. She had been fine that morning. She acted completely normally that morning. SO I can only assume it was something sudden like a heart attack or an aneurysm.

About a month after her passing, we found out her father Cujo had cancer. It was a massive and very aggressive tumor on his spleen. We spent 3000 to have surgery and have his spleen removed. The doctor said he was sure he got good margins and that all would be fine. He had been anorexic recently and we brought him in and found out there was a mass in his tiny stomach. The mass ended up being a 1.5 lb tumor which is huge in a 6 lb dog. Sadly, he lost his fight to cancer on 2/1/2017.

6 weeks later I lost my 2 lb chihuahua Mosquito to heartworm. We knew she had heartworm when we adopted her. We had her on the slow kill method because the vet said that her liver values were too high and her heart murmur was too strong to do the fast kill method. So basically we knew she was terminal when we got her, but she lasted 2 years before she claimed her wings.

And then lastly we lost our cat of 24 years to old age on 4/3, only 2 weeks after we lost Mosquito. Boots had a great life though.

So I sit here today.....thinking back about all of the babies I have lost. I know that most of my group will be following eventually. I only adopt the special needs or elderly dogs now. Mostly because I figure they are so hard to place and deserve no less of a chance at a happy home than a puppy. Just because they were abandoned or abused or what ever... they are no less worthy of happiness. That and since I am about to hit my 50s.....I dont want to have a lot of dogs that someone has to place if I gain my wings. So... as my aging brood leaves to wait for my at the rainbow bridge, I will attempt to not replace them.

But I find myself thinking back to my Kamikazi frequently and thanking him for starting me on my road to being a dog lover. I always thought I was more of a cat person until I saw his little face. But because of him, I have helped many dogs and cats have a better chance at life.

BTW... I would like to thank this site for being so helpful when I was going through my grief. I dont know if I could have made it without this site.

Praying all furbabies go to be with God when it is their time until we are with them again.
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post Jun 12 2018, 12:29 PM
Post #2

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Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861

Hi, Missing Kamikazi, thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your wonderful life with all of your precious and beloved angel ambassadors. Speaking as a senior citizen now I am finding that as we get older our thoughts encompass our experiences with each of our beloved companions who have preceded us from this physical realm even though we may still have sweet precious souls sharing their earthly journey with us. It is wonderful that you now take in the senior and special needs waifs who need a loving home for however long their journey remains in this earthly realm. You are blessed to have the ability to do this, and there is no doubt that your beloved Kamikazi is so very proud of you.

I hope life is treating you and all your precious companions kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with the sweet Living Spirits of all your beloved companions to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Missing Kamikazi, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,

In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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