When Do You Know You're Ready For Another?, thinking of getting a playmate Options

[kmom]

When did you know you could bring another animal into your home and heart?

It will be 4 weeks on Thursday that I had to let me Kasey go. As I type this, I am tearing up. Not so much that I feel that I would be replacing him, but just that I miss him still soooo very much. It is getting slowly getting better, though. I can talk about him sometimes without actually breaking down.

Truth be told, our dog Murphy, who always had Kasey around since the day we brought him home, I strongly believe, needs a playmate. He is very clingy and sad. I know he misses him and whenever he goes outside, seem to be looking and trying to smell him. Also, we can no longer let him out without watching him like a hawk. He ran away 3 times leading up to Kasey dying. I know we could always put him on a lead, but that is the main reason we moved to the country - to let the dogs roam free around the yard. He never ran away when Kasey was around - maybe visited the neighbor's dog - but always in ear shot.

We visited the humane society this weekend. Didn't really find that "right" dog. We did find out that we will probably have to get a female. Other than Kasey, Murphy has never really gotten along with other males. I wanted an older dog, because I don't have time to train etc a young one. However, older dogs can come with their own issues. I was kind of disappointed. I thought I was ready, but none of them really felt right.

Anyone else deal with this? Any advice?

Mary

[Leighann]

I got my new kitty Nuku on the 9 week anniversary of Homer's passing. When Homer died, I said I didn't want to get another cat, but after weeks of my other cat Baby seeming so lonely, I decided to get one for her. Its been over 2 weeks she's been with us, and Baby still hasn't fully accepted her - and I'm sad to say that I haven't either. I love Nuku's little personality, but I knew when I got her I wasn't ready, and unless Baby comes around and accepts Nuku, I don't think I will be able to either. Don't get me wrong, Nuku is getting love and attention, but I haven't opened my heart yet. I just pray that Baby can open her heart, so I can open mine.
I actually cried the first time I went to the SPCA, as I felt like I was betraying Homer. But then I realized that there will always be that special spot in my heart that only belongs to Homer, and no one else can take that spot. I know that Homer will never be replaced, and neither will Kasey.
My only suggestion would be to take Murphy to a daycare or something while you're at work or away, so he's not lonely, and only get a new dog when you're ready. In fact, one will probably find you when you are ready!
Take care!

[J T]

I wasn't ready for a new family member for a long time after we lost Misty (15 months). When we did finally go to the Humane Society to look for another cat, it was he who found us, poking his paw out from a cage we had overlooked. He was nothing like what we were looking for, but exactly what we needed.

In retrospect, I think we did a serious disservice to our remaining cat Stormy by leaving her without another feline companion for that long. She has perked up and increased her physical activity dramatically since we brought Webster home 2-1/2 months ago. They now chase each other and play (and "playfight") frequently, and have even got to the point of grooming each other (something Stormy and Misty never did in the 10-1/2 years we had both of them together).

If I had it to do over again, I'd err on the side of sooner vs. later.

[Missing Digger]

I got my puppy shortly after my Digger passed away. The house was so empty that I couldn't stand it and my sister bought this pup for me. We have had him about 2 months and now he has bonded very strongly with my husband (I work and my husband is disabled) and it is like losing Digger all over again. I am very depressed again. I don't think I will ever get another dog. I wish I hadn't gotten this one.

[kimmiekokid]

It sounds as though you know you're ready for another when you notice the void in your other critters' lives. We added Colton two and a half weeks after losing Cedric. Our oldest dog, Rascal, was very annoyed with Lucas, the younger doggie. We'd actually adopted Cedric, orignially, as a companion for Lucas. Lucas is a very high energy dog and gets on Rascal's nerves with constant playing. Shortly after Cedric left the house, Rascal began coughing and trying to avoid Lucas. Now that Colton is here (about a week at this point), Rascal is doing much better. She has peace and quiet. Lucas has a high energy companion.

Colton is not the same as Cedric and sometimes I miss Cedric even more when I look at Colton. Cedric was grown; he was obedient. Colton is a puppy; he is definitely still learning the obedience thing. Cedric was a big brother for Lucas. Now Lucas has to be the big brother and he's just not quite big brother material. They're finding their way though, and I'm finding mine.

I'm beginning to appreciate Colton as he opens up to me. He's been cuddly since Day One, but now he's becoming more responsive to me. He's learning what I expect and how our family works. Most importantly, I've been hearing "contented" sighs from him as he naps on my lap or the couch. He's even left my side to go nap on the bed with the other two. That indicates to me that he's become part of the pack; that is healing for all of us.

I guess, I'm taking a lot of space to say that reading the dogs left in your family is more of an indication of when your family is ready for a new member than your individual feelings. You might want to contact a local rescue group. Many rescue groups foster animals in members' homes and can speak to the new animal's personality as well as allow a meeting with your family members that could indicate how well one might fit with your pack. Also, check out petfinder.com. There are tons of available animals that you can learn about at home; it greatly increases the odds of finding the "right" one.

Kim

[Muffins]

Hi Mary:

It sounds to me like you're ready to let another furkid into your heart and into your life!!

I believe that your beloved Kasey will lead you to the perfect furdog for you & your family......

I thought I was ready, but none of them really felt right.

That certainly can happen -- There are sooooooooo many furbabies that need homes, and sometimes it can seem overwhelming, trying to choose which one would "fit your family".....
I am thrilled that you are going to the Humane Society to find your next family member !!

After our precious Ernestine was put to sleep on Feb 7th, 2004, I swore up & down that I would never ever get another cat again ---- I couldn't imagine loving another cat that much -- only to have them leave me....

But.......my husband and I had soooooooo much love in our hearts that adopting another furbaby was inevitable!!!

The silence in our house was deafening......... It felt like an insatiable hunger in my heart --
So, exactly one month after our girl went to Rainbow's Bridge, we visited a shelter that housed cats of all ages; from kittens to seniors....

We wanted to adopt two cats that were older -- Kittens always get adopted, it's the older ones who sadly get overlooked....

So, we brought home Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster --- (9 & 10, respectively).

We love our kids so very, very much -- They are, in no way a 'replacement' for Ernestine -- not at all...
And, I know that Ernie led me to Lucy --- (they look so much alike, they could be related)...

YOU WILL FIND A SPECIAL FURDOG WHO IS MEANT TO BE WITH YOU & YOUR FAMILY....
You will probably have to visit the humane society on more than a few occasions, or check into other shelters....

But, eventually, Kasey WILL help you in your search!!

Peace & Love to you & yours,

Denise

[kmom]

Thanks for all your replys.

As of today, I have not yet gotten another dog. It's hard. I need to have Murphy with me and the kids to make sure everyone can get along. The ones that I thought would work are always gone when I come back - not complaining, at least they are getting adopted. I always feel bad too, thinking I'm replacing Kasey sometimes. I know that can never happen, but I think it any way. I'm hoping in the next few weeks I'll find a dog that we can give a good home to and will bring some more joy to our lives. I know that dog is out there, so even if I have to wait a bit longer, it'll be worth it!

[Clairecares]

I was so sick w/grief, I literally felt like I was dying inside too...my girl was so good to me, such a good friend...if I couldn't help her any longer, maybe I could help another one...I was NOT ready for another kitty, but there are many ways to help...I helped by assisting in a rescue of a kitten who is the same breed as my girl...the kitty was supposed to be put to sleep the day after my girl was, (but for a different reason-she'd been there too long) .

The only way out is through. I forced myself to go & look at kitties. I gave my name to a few rescue organizations. I waited for the right one...& when I saw the picture on Petfinder, I knew. I had a huge cry when I brought her home...to see another cat walking around in the places my girl used to be....was jarring. But she would not want me to close my heart to another kitty.

I love Boo. She's purrfect ~ for me. She understands, like no human ever could.

So...when the time is right, you'll know. Till then, we all hold you in our hearts...

[Moyia's Mom]

Kmom

I agree that you'll know the dog when you see it!! We adopted a beautiful guy through Border-Collie Rescue. He's a wonderful dog (18 months old). Great with our daughter and learning the farm routine. Does he replace my Moyia? Not in a million years!!!! But I am so glad we rescued him. The first 2 weeks were rough because we had high expectations. After we all settled down and signed the final papers, things are still getting better. He's definitely not a replacement, but rather an addition to our family.

Good Luck Velma (Moyia's Mom)

[kimmiekokid]

He's definitely not a replacement, but rather an addition to our family.

Well said!!!

[Phinny1]

You will know when you are ready. Don't force yourself to get another one before then. As Leighann is experiencing, her heart is not open, the other cat is not ready, and here you have an animal being emotionally rejected. Not a good situation at all. Especially when all it wants it to be loved and accepted. Animals are very sensitive and know when they are not being accepted.
Since you are bringing it into your home you must be be emotionally willing and ready to take on the responsibility. It's not fair to the animal any other way.
I'm sure in time you'll get a new one, but do it when it's right for everyone involved.

Take care.