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fuzzypeg
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Joined: 16-March 09
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fuzzypeg

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17 Mar 2009
Sammy was a german shepherd cross rough collie rescue dog who I bought in 1997 with a small lottery win. He was born in 1994 and had been taken away from his owners at the age of 18 months as he'd been starved and beaten by them. He was a very frightened dog as you can imagine. When I first saw him, he was cowering in a chewed up old plastic dog bed that didn't even have a blanket in it, at the end of his run. I spoke to the kennel owner about him and she told me he had been at the kennels longer than any other dog there, everyone passed him by. All the other dogs would run up to the fences barking and wagging their tails at visitors except for Sammy. He had been there for 18 months. He was very malnourished and sad. I was concerned about the running of this rescue centre as all of the dogs seemed underfed. (Some years later, the kennel owner was dismissed for bad treatment of the dogs and spending all the funds on herself.)

Sammy was very quiet and subdued for a good few months, frightened of his own shadow. With a lot of TLC and patience, he became the best dog I had ever owned. He was obedient, kind natured and affectionate, loved playtime and long walks. He was always wary of strangers though and wouldn't accept treats or strokes from anyone he didn't know well.

About 6 months ago, his back legs slowly started to give way. I took him to the vet and he was given Metacam oral suspension painkiller, the vet said that his spine was causing the problem. Increasingly, he found it difficult to walk. Just before Christmas, he had got to the point where he struggled to get up off the floor and I thought that the time had come. But I was too selfish to part with him just then I suppose. I took him back to the vet and was assured that he wasn't in pain, so I kept on buying the medication, living in hope, but also knowing that the problem wouldn't go away. He was still enjoying his food though and even played as best he could, so he was having some quality of life. He was also very bright and perky and still had a 'young dog face'
It got to a point recently that he was really struggling and was literally pulling the back part of his body along by his front legs. So last Saturday, March 14th, I took him to the vet for his final journey. I gave him lots of treats in the early morning and he thoroughly enjoyed them, wagging his tail, still looking perky and happy not having a clue what was about to happen. sad.gif He was in such a bad way physically it was a struggle to get him into the car and it took two of us, he was a big dog. When I arrived at the vets, I couldn't manage to get him out, so the vet came out to the car with her equipment. I have never known such a terrified dog as Sammy was when she started to give him the lethal injection. She couldn't get the needle in properly, blood was pouring out of his leg and he was crying in pain. It was one of the worst experiences in my life and I'm sure for Sammy's too. She eventually got the needle in and Sammy started to drift into unconsciousness. But, the vet hadn't brought enough pentobarbital with her and had to go back into the surgery to get more. Another shot and it was goodbye to Sammy. I stroked and cuddled him until his heart stopped beating. My heart is breaking. He had a terrifying start to his life and a terrifying end and I feel like I've betrayed him, he didn't deserve to die, especially not in that way. I feel so guilty and can't accept that he's gone, the house feels quiet and empty.
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 17th July 2019 - 04:36 AM