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bearbear
66 years old
Gender Not Set
south cental pennsylvania
Born May-26-1957
Interests
trying to make computer do what i want it to takes a lot of my time! also like to play texas hold em poker
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Joined: 9-November 05
Profile Views: 651*
Last Seen: 1st June 2006 - 07:42 PM
Local Time: Mar 29 2024, 12:18 AM
35 posts (0 per day)
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bearbear

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13 Nov 2005
hi there mommy and daddy- this is now the 3rd time i tried to respond to your post about your grieving kitty. i sent the other 2 , but they somehow got lost in cyberspace. anyhow, i'll try again, this time on this forum. give buttons a big hug for me. i would like to tell you of my day and it might shed a little light on this subject. it has for me. it has been 8 days since my josie kitty has seen her puppy, bear. for me it has been 13 ! since our beloved bear bear was hit by a truck and killed out front of our home, sleep has not come easily and when it does , it is only in "cat naps". well, early this morning i had a dream (it seemed soooo real) that my boy barked for me to let him in. i opened the front door and there he was; his eyes sad as if to say, "daddy, i'm sorry i went on the road !". i called him in and before i could hug him, i awoke and realized he was still gone. i broke down in tears and looked for my josie kitty. she was asleep at my feet, so i picked her up and held her close to my face. she grabbed my thumb and began licking and chewing on it. the everyday routine, without fail, was , before i was done stretching and the alarm clock done ringing , bear would jump up and begin licking my face, tail a wagging (and a 90 lb. black lab has a powerful swinging tail !) . then josie kitty would grab bear by the face and proceed to wash him for a few minutes until bear had enough and wanted to get out of bed. he always woke up happy as a little child ready to enjoy life to the fullest ! well, i didn't know that josie was actually chewing and gently biting on bear as she washed him, but i found out today she actually was. today, as josie chewed on my thumb, carefully biting it and meticulously cleaning it, i realized how much she missed loving and taking care of her puppy. she never is content to lie with me for more than a few minutes, but after "grooming " me for 15-20 minutes held closely to my face, was also very happy to lie with my hand around her, stroking her with my newly cleaned thumb for almost another hour. she and i both(i'm sure) had our most peaceful day since the tragic day we lost our best friend, baby bear. she stayed with me , purring very loudly , until she wanted to get up and wake her mommy. it is now 8 hrs. later and she is sleeping contently in our bed. i just went in and laid my head close to her a few minutes in the middle of rewriting this and she started up her rumbling PURR again. i am still(and always will be) devastated that i will never run free in the woods with my boy or play with "his ducks" in "his park" or hear him whining in our car like a baby whenever we were still miles away from one of his favorite places or doggie friend's houses' until i told him he could get out of "his car", but i had more peace today than i thought would ever be possible again. i know i will fall into deep depression over and over again , probably for the rest of my life whenever i remember how i was only blessed to be my sweet, gentle boy boy's caregiver for 3 short years, but those years were full of so many wonderful memories that we will both relive when we are finally reunited again. until that day comes for us all - all you beautiful loving , grieving souls i pray for your peace of mind and healing of hearts while we patiently(?) wait. God bless you all ron in pa
11 Nov 2005
i just woke up from one of my few catnaps, they really are catnaps ,not just in shortness of length but unless my josie kitty (my baby bear's josie kitty) cuddles with me, i can't sleep. actally i am afraid to sleep because the pain of waking up freshen my desparation. i awoke in tears because i was dreaming of my baby . i was eating ice cream and i told him ice cream wasn't good for him and he could only eat his treats. my bear was a talker, usually a whiner, but when wanted to debate the issue to get his way he would bark so beautifully( his mommy actually believed he could bark certain words (mom, no ... etc.). well, his bark woke me up only to be crushed once again by reality. i'm going to see a counselor for my grief on monday, but i know that will only make me more angry. i can't leave the house or get anything accomplished except self pity and pain for my boy not having the life he loved so much. HELP ME if you can. sad.gif RON IN PA
10 Nov 2005
i had to leave my dog, bear at home alone with my wife for 5 days. on day 4 he was hit by a truck out front. i feel he died needlessly due to negligent veterinary care. my wife, rose called the vet, explained the crisis, and he did not tell her he was unable to help due to a shoulder separation and sling on his arm. after a short wait for him to arrive at his office, he had my boy walk into his office with severe chest trama knowing he could not help us. then he had my precious baby bear, who was so strong, again walk back to the car on his own. he told her to go to another vet, 70 miles away who could do heart surgery. i'm sure the critical time he wasted knowing he could not do his job cost my bear bear the life he loved so much. he loved to run. he loved everyone he met(and he wanted to meet everyone). he loved his mommy and daddy. we couldn't even kiss around him without him crowding between us to make it a group effort. he loved his kitty, josie. they slept cuddled up together and the daily routine was upon awakening he would allow her to grab him by the face and wash his nose and ears. i never in my 48 yrs. met a more gentle creature. in his 4 short yrs. , he NEVER growled, showed his teeth or bit at anyone or another animal ! he loved car trips and whenever we were anywhere near one of his favorite places ; "his " park or one of his 2 best doggie friend's homes, he would whine like a baby-louder and louder until we acknowledge him to get out of the car. i miss him so very much and am not able to deal with my loss. i am unable to go to work, i am unable to be around people ( even those closest to me who realize how much my boy boy meant to me), and know i am alienating myself from my wife of 18 yrs. i don't know what to do-i don't know how to heal and i don't think time will provide healthy healing. i've mourned beloved pets before in my life as i have always had cats and dogs around me. last year at this time i had to bury my dad, who i loved very much., but i didn't lose my control to the point of losing my mind. i feel so empty and am even questioning my faith, which i believed to be very strong. any cyber help you could provide for me will be deeply appreciated because i am so lost. i had no closure with him-could give him no comfort when he needed me most. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
ron in pa
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26 May 2008 - 15:35

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