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66 years old
Twain Harte, California
Born Dec-4-1953
Mainly it was my dog Kota. I play music, and for fun play in a rock band. Since Kota passed, I've kind of lost most of my interests.
Joined: 10-May 10
Profile Views: 2,678*
Last Seen: 7th October 2019 - 08:21 PM
Local Time: Oct 21 2020, 02:25 PM
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31 Jul 2010

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid.

As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship.

A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.
15 Jul 2010
Hey all, when you have a chance, check out this You Tube.

11 Jun 2010
To everyone,

We're all here for the same purpose. To make sense out of the losses we have suffered and to get comfort from each other who have shared, or will share, this experience. It's been just over a month since I lost my Kota, and when the tears come, it seems like they'll never end.

Today I read through a whole book that a friend had given me years ago to read. A Dog Year by John Katz. About a writer who writes about his relationships, losses included, with his dogs, and how each one brings it's own individual personality to the table. After reading it, I sure cried alot, missing all the things that Kota and I experienced together for 16 years. But it also gave me a glimmer of light, thinking that maybe someday I could be open to the possibility of getting another dog. Our pets ARE our children, companions, best friends and total devotees of whatever we put in front of them. Just wanted to share this with all of you whom are grieving and for those of you whom have moved on and welcomed a new and different loving entity into your life.

7 Jun 2010
For those of you who aren't familiar with Rainbow Bridge, they have a ceremony where on Monday night's all around the world, people light candles in honor of their lost pets. It starts at 7:00pm (PST), so correlate your starting time to what is 7:00pm West Coast (California time).

Please light a candle for Buck, whom, from the last posting I saw by Tanbuck, is being put down tonight. And light one for your lost loved ones.

11 May 2010
I have been reading other's stories of their intense losses and grief and am compelled to write about mine.

I had to put my loving dog, Kota (Border Collie/Aussie Shepherd), down last Friday. She lived from 09/01/93 - 05/07/10, close to 17 years. She was with me for 15 years, 9 months and 23 days. Except for maybe 3 or 4 days, she was with me everyday. Not having a spouse or my own family, she was my best friend, the love of my life and my soul mutt. She loved to swim, kayak, hike, dive for rocks and play in the snow. In her youth she use to run 10K's and 1/2 marathons with me. On her last day I took her swimming and gave her a Taco Bell taco.

Her arthritis and hips got so bad, I had her on Prednisone, Adequan shots, chiropractic, accupuncture, vitamins, herbs and home-cooked meals. I honestly didn't think it would be as hurtful as it is. At times now, I wish I could have been euthanized with her. The emptiness and lack of her presence is unbearable. I don't know how to live without her. I've been at my sister's house for a few days as I'm petrified and paralyzed to go back to my empty and lonely home. Every cell of my body cries out for her, there is no comfort. In the movie, Avatar, they said, "Everything is made of energy. All energy is borrowed and at some point you have to give it back." I don't want her to become just a memory, or to live with just her spirit. I long for one more time to hold her body and let her know how deeply I still love her.

I'm sure that my story is a generic comparison to all of yours, yet the big hole inside of me is growing and spreading thru my heart, my soul and my thoughts. I've been out of work for a year now, some of it my choosing, in order to have been able to take care of and be with Kota during the end of her old age. I miss her so much that it's hard to breathe. Whatever I did, wherever I was, she was beside me, following me around even when she could hardly stand. At the end I had to stand behind her and hold up her back legs while she ate. I don't know what I believe in anymore...doggie heaven, her spirit in the wind. My need for her extends beyond the bounds of the universe. Thank you for taking the time to read this and be a part of this loss. I hope everyone of you knew the kind of love I had/have for her, be it for your pet, a human relationship or various friendships. "I've grown accustomed to her face...like breathing out and breathing in."

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