I foster cats locally and have for years. Some have stayed for a while to recover from illness, while others just enjoy the room and board when the shelters are full.

Over a year ago, I fostered a cat named "Star". When there was room, she went back to the shelter and was actually adopted by a family I knew. I was happy because they appeared to be picture perfect pet owners. I have now learned that things are not always as they appear.

About a month and a half ago, the family contacted me and told me that Star was not using her litter box. They wanted her out of the house because she was ruining their hardwood floors. So, I drove to their area to pick her up. I didn't want anything bad to happen to her because cats turned in to shelters with "litter box issues" have a giant strike against them from the get go.

The family adopted an eight pound cat. They gave me back a FOUR POUND CAT. As much as the anger and rage wanted to be unleashed, I knew that she needed help and that had to come before anything. I grabbed her and drove straight to my emergency vet. Basically every organ was failing at that point, but they saw a glimmer of hope and thought it was worth at least trying to save her.

She was hospitalized and put on IV fluids and I was sent home with fluids, as well. Every day I did fluids and two other medications. But even though I got her up to five pounds, we didn't win this battle. Star passed away in my arms. She was looking up at me and didn't even flinch during the procedure.

I never thought anything could break my spirit, but this did. I take comfort in the fact that she was MY cat when she passed away and she will be waiting for ME at the Rainbow Bridge and not those who neglected her. When I picked up her remains, the death certificate also helped some. It had the name I gave her and not the name they gave her, and my family name was listed after "beloved pet of...".

Another bad part is...I don't want to foster anymore. I keep thinking about what became of all the other cats I cared for. I don't know how to get past this point.

Thanks for listening. People here understand, and I always appreciate that.

Walk alone,
Don't beat yourself up. You have been doing a great thiing for kitties. Who knows what would happen to them if you didn't take them in. This is a very unfortunate thing. You didn't live with them, so how do you know. You went with your heart and thought they would be a good match for this kitty. I know this might not help much, but at least you had Star in your arms when passed away. It was your friendly face that she saw. I am sure she was delighted with joy to be with you again. Her last moments were with someone she really loved.
There is not enough people that have it in their hearts to care for kitties like you do. I hope one day you can find the strengh to get passed this and continue on with the great thing you are doing. Just know there are alot of people who love kitties and think you are really special for what you are doing. There needs to be more people like you.

Cass

Hi, Walk Alone, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Star. I hope in time you will be able to find peace in your heart that you did the very best for this precious little life with the information that you had at the time. The blessing is that you were reunited with her and it is YOU have the blessing of being the human to give her love and compassion during her final days and moments of her earthly journey. I can so understand how this experience would have you second-guess your trust in assisting with other adoptions, and I am so sorry that your precious Star had to endure cruelty of neglect at the hands of people you thought you could trust.

Some States and local humane shelters have the authority to legally prevent people from adopting other companion animals through the prosecution process - - particularly in cases where the neglect causes the death - - including the need for euthanasia - - of a companion animal that has been in their care. Only you can determine if this is a route that is available to you - - either personally or as a member of the shelter that processed the adoption. While this will not reverse what happened with Star, it perhaps would prevent the people from ever endangering the life of another companion animal - - including any companion animal that might be in their care now.

Walk Alone, it's okay if you do not foster again. And it's okay if you change your mind to foster again after your grief eases a bit of what happened to your beloved Star. It is obvious that you have a loving heart, and any precious homeless waif who needs a loving human touch is truly blessed to know it with you. It would be truly a tragedy if what happened with Star deprived you of offering your love to those who will eternally cherish your love and compassion. Please give yourself some time to consider other options, if possible.

Walk Alone, thank you so very much for sharing with us your beloved Star and how you're doing. I truly am very, very sorry that you and your beloved Star have suffered such a despicable experience. I do understand how betrayed you must be feeling. Please know your beloved Star is eternally grateful to you for rescuing her from those people. You did NOT betray her by entrusting her to their care. THEY betrayed the trust of both Star and you.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Walk Alone, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Walk Alone, Adding my condolences and echoing the thoughts of Cass and moon_beam - I completely understand your anger with the family who fostered Star, but am so glad you were in Star's life at all - at least she saw the true kindness of the human heart and passed away in the arms of the one person who showed her this, wrapped up tight in your love. Sending you some huge hugs, Leejaye

The emergency vet that I use actually did ask if I would be willing to provide the contact information for the people who had her. I gave them the names, address and phone number. They were going to pass the information on to local authorities. I told them that I would gladly talk to anyone that needed to speak to me, too.

Thank you Cass, moon_beam and leejaye for the kind words. Cass, I burst into tears when I read your statement: You should have seen her. When she was on the vet's exam table just an hour after I had her, she couldn't stop staring at me. She was so happy.

I hope she didn't think that I didn't want her and gave her away to those people. If I would have known this was going to happen, I would have kept her. She would still be alive.

Oh Walk Alone,

What an awful thing to happen to an innocent animal. Like the others have said, Star IS your cat and she will be waiting for YOU at the Rainbow Bridge. You are the one with the generous heart. You are the one who enveloped Star with the most precious gift of all - a mother's love. Despite physical suffering, this marvelous cocoon prevents all fear, sadness, loneliness. And that's why your baby Start didn't flinch during the procedure. "I'm back with my mom. Everything is sure to be all right." And in the next instant, Start found herself in the Perfect World.

Yours is a unique loss. Not only do you get to second guess things about your our baby, now you're thinking about all those babies you've helpd find their forever homes. Yes, this one turned out horribly. But in my heart I know that most, if not ALL, of the others you helped go home are loved and cared for and happy. All these animals have spiritual power and all of them know EXACTLY what has happened. They're all sending love and care and encouragement your way, Walk Alone.

Like Moonbeam said, it's OK if you foster again and it's OK if you don't. There are no expectations or demands on you. All you need to do now is rest in the love that all the fur-babies you have helped. And, if you're a hardnose like me (not always the best choice!), the option to do as Moonbeam suggests and check into prosecution might help you. If it doesn't, it's NOT another "failure". You're nothing but a roaring success, Walk Alone. It's your heart that makes it so. And your beautiful, loving heeart shows through every word you write.

Breathe deeply today. Take everything very slowly and easily. Cry if you have to. Don't if you don't. Just rest in the love of all your "adoptees" and all of your Lighnting Strike family.


Gretta's mom

Walk Alone,
I am sure Star didn't think you didn't want her. You could have only went with what you knew at the moment, I am sure it made her day to see you again. In her eyes probably nothing else mattered. She was reunited with someone who really loved her. That was all she cared about. I hope your day is a good one.
Cass

Walk alone,

Sending some spare strength your way - I'm further along on this roller coaster of horrors that if grief so I have a little to spare. Lean on it ... and remember that here at Lightning Strike .... no matter how sad and lonely you may feel .... you're never alone.

Gretta's mom