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Chloe Love
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Joined: 21-May 05
Profile Views: 1,422*
Last Seen: 9th June 2005 - 04:15 AM
Local Time: Mar 28 2024, 06:55 AM
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Chloe Love

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9 Jun 2005
My love Chloe died exactly three weeks ago, I had her put to rest.... it hurts so badly, it just hurts so badly still. I can't believe I did that, I can't believe I could do that. I'm not God, I don't know how I had any right but I just didn't want her to suffer... what right do we have to decide something like that. I love her so much it hurts so bad and I can never get her back. But I want to always always be her home, I am determined to be. I visited her in the cemetery today and gave her roses, I hope she likes the smell, they looked so pure and innocent and lovely, just like her. I love her so much. I want her back, I would give anything to give her a happy life again, to make her happy. I'm not worth her love I know, but I love her so much.
21 May 2005
My rattie named Chloe passed away yesterday. I had to 'put her to sleep". She was suffering from a heart failure, her heart was so large, and I kept upping her Lasix dosage. Her heart was pushing up on her trechia, and her breathing kept getting worse. When we went to the dostor just two days ago he said we can up the dosage of Lasix more, that she has another month or two. But then yesterday her breathing got harder again. I gave her more Lasix but it didn't help. She kept trying to find an open space for air, and just laying there, panting. She wouldn't even eat grapes and they were her favorite. And then blood started oozing out of her left eye, and I though, "ok, this is enough". And so I took her to the vet. I wanted her to feel better, and I hope that she is happier now. Guilt is eating me up inside, I keep thinking I should have taken her back home, given her more Lasix. She was still breathing badly but the blood had stopped. I keep thinking I should have done something more, talked to the doctor instead of a nurse when I brought her in, or anything else. I wasn't with her in her last moments, I didn't even think of that, they just took her away. That's killing me now. I love her so much. I said goodbye and gave her a kiss and they just took her away, and she was looking at me from her cage. And then she was gone. I don't understand how it can be. I keep thinking I did something wrong. That I didn't give her enough of a chance. Someone, please help. This hurts so much.
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