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I want to discover knowledge & truth with regard to the end my own life through the thoughts and feelings expressed here. People here come with their gaurd down and completely vunerable. I believe it is this vunerability that binds us altogether. We are injured and being so we talk openly about
Personal Info
xrayspex
67 years old
Male
London, Ontario, Canada
Born July-4-1956
Interests
I want to discover knowledge & truth with regard to the end my own life through the thoughts and feelings expressed here. People here come with their gaurd down and completely vunerable. I believe it is this vunerability that binds us altogether. We are injured and being so we talk openly about our pain. It is insight I have found nowhwere else and wish to understand more about. Untill I came here I ran from this kind of pain. Now with the help of this place I will embrace it when it attempts to dominate my life. When the Spectre of Doom comes to steal the things I love from my life, I want to gain strength & understanding from the lessons that it teaches me about living in its horrid wake and its always lurking shadow. I want to have the insight within me so that when Death comes to my door for me I may say.....

Welcome old friend.....I am ready for YOU!
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xrayspex

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12 May 2010
Now I know what you are thinking......another furbaby ferret has died, but this is not the case......

I came here 2 days ago. In the post "Guilt For Life" you will see why I returned to this place of woe. But it is not woe I bring today!
A couple I barely know heard through the "friend of a friend grapevine" that I had put my furbaby down because of a cancer she had. My first ferret Abigail contacted this very late in her life (thank God) and one of the symptoms is the little tyke falls over or just loses balance. When Angel did this a couple of weeks ago I drew a hard breath. You know the outcome.....
.....when the couple heard about that sympton they were shaken because one of their furbabies had recently manifested this horror. Upon a vet visit the grim news was confirmed and another small creature met its maker. I cried very hard. I felt somehow responsible in a strange sort of way.
This couple contacted me through the same grapevine and gave me their 4 year old male ferret!

HE IS HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

You still my be wondering why I called the post "Twice in a Row".
It is because this is exactly how we recieved Angel. After Abigails death we went to Windsor on Christmas eve a couple of years ago and when we arrived.......THERE SHE WAS! A gift from someone who just could not spend the time they wanted to with her and heard about our passion for this small and often maligned creature.

SO THAT MAKES TWO!!!!!

I guess I am a good ferret gaurdian smile.gif

Thank You God
10 May 2010
Hello all. I am John. It took me about a week to get here. It was not because of fear or anything like that, it is because I was ashamed......because of guilt I would have to publically admit if I did. I let my little furbaby Angel suffer for 5 days when I should have let her go much sooner. It will be clear to see once I spin the yarn.

On the day before my wife`s birthday my little albino fert (short for ferret...it`s easier to type...honestly) was put down by our vet after a terrible 5 day struggle with a cancer that was not detected until far too late. Angel was a furbaby that came into our lives after our 8 year old fert Abigail died of old age. Abigails picture is on my avatar and is the silver fert. The other fert is Chase who at the tender age of 4 died mysteriously in her cage. Angel should have never been allowed to suffer those 5 days but she did and here is how I did it.

After being diagnosed with the cancer the options were dismal. We tried a conventional treatment (prednisone) that is recommended for this type of cancer and also they gave us a morphine based medication for her pain and medication to settle her tummy. The whole medication thing was a disaster. The prednisone made her so sick that she stopped eating almost completely. She would only take food in little tiny bits and only if you hand fed her. This was the beginning of the end (in my flawed human opinion) for you see it really should have been the end but I could not see it......could not admit it. If ferrets or any animal this small misses a couple of meals it is pretty much a death sentence for the creature. Angel missed a little more than a couple of meals after the medication fiasco and began to slowly fade away.

This is where I should have let her go. I know how this works. I am on fert #5 now. How much exposure to the cycle of life in these small frail animals must I endure before I "get it" We took Angel off her prednisone and began to hand feed her little by little while giving her the prescribed morphine doses. The food just wasn't enough but we hung on to her. She got thinner and thinner, could hardly walk but each morning we awoke she was there to greet us. The little tyke could hardly lift her head. The life light had gone out in her eyes. It was only then after 5 days of torture I realized what I had to do.

I cried my eyes out all the way to the vet. The vet was swift in relieving Angel of the burden of life. We took her home and she is now buried in that special place in our backyard when not so long ago there was only one fert there.....and now Angel makes 3. I knew even after 1 day.....the first day, I should have taken her to the vet. I prolonged that creatures suffering in an ill conceived attempt to lengthen her life when I KNEW THAT CREATURE WAS GOING TO DIE.

It is because of this act that I now feel guilt. My selfishness caused her more pain in her life than if I had just let the Creator run the show. My payment is the guilt I will feel every time I think of those 5 days. I do not wish to "get over it" or "forgive myself" or any other crazy notion and will want or even "need" to feel that guilt when I revisit that time through the mind’s eye. If you think that I am a martyr or enjoy tormenting myself I assure you this is not the case.

I have experienced that I learn much better from dismal mistakes than easy success. I believe we are tasked by a Higher Authority to take care of that which cannot take care of itself. In the realm of the domestic creatures don't you indeed find it odd there are people that announce themselves as "cat people or "dog people" or some kind of person who claims a favourite domestic pet? I just happen to be chosen to be a "ferret guardian" by higher but I won't be a good one if I don't stop playing God and persist in using "frail human knowledge" to hang onto some poor creature whose time has simply come to pass on this earth

I dream of being a ferret foster or ferret rescue. I need that guilt to remind me that I am just the guardian of these creatures, NOT THE KEEPER, and I never have been or shall be the Keeper. There is only one Keeper. In a rescue or foster situation love must be tempered with spirituality in order to best serve the little creature. I want my Creator to know that I have learned through this experience. That I deserve to be the guardian of such a fine (and really friggin cute!) animal like my beloved ferrets.

Remember there is such a thing as good guilt
Guilt is pain and pain is the great teacher
I will not let this little creature down again....but knowing my human frailties and my intense love for the ferret I`m sure my Creator will no doubt have to pick me up and put me back together again when I lose another fert. It can be difficult emotionally when dealing with frail creatures that have a short life cycle. I see more losses than in the cat and dog world. Death comes knocking at the door more frequently. My Higher Authority must know however that I am trying my very best to "let go". I have been gifted with many incredibly bright and lovable ferrets. He must know for certain that I am worthy of being a ferret guardian or I would not have been picked to be one!
20 Mar 2008
Today is the one year marker of my oldest & cuddliest ferret Abigail who left this world one year ago on March 20th 2007. I have been moping around all day so I decided to to something to "switch gears". I worked on this little project today and it made me laugh...I hope it will make you laugh too...


19 Mar 2008
On March 20th 1 year ago I returned you to the arms of the Creator. My wife is out of town for a spell so I am alone with my thoughts. I cry for you Miss....I love you so much! Daddy misses you terribly still. I hope you are with Chase & getting along better with each other than you did in this world. I have been well but as your marker draws near I am slipping into despairity. I have wept much today. I held your urn this morning. I watched videos of you yesterday.....and I cry harder everytime that little voice whispers in my ear "I want you back...."

I LOVE YOU ABIGAIL wub.gif

Abigail & Chase are survived by their sisters, Angel & Rocket
12 Jan 2008
The CAT User's Manual
User Installation and Maintenance Instruction
CAT v. 7.0: Completely Autonomous Tester

Manufactured by MOMCAT

System Design Specifications:

User Friendly
Mouse Driven
Self Cleaning
Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
Self Portable Operation
Dual Video
Bi-directional Audio Input/Output
Primary and secondary output ports: high-speed serial port for streaming data and standard parallel port for data blocks.
Auto search Routines for Input Data
Autocracy for Output Bin
Instant Transition (<2 nanoseconds) Between Standby and Full Power Mode

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Production Details: After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of onside ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers, there may be variations between units. MOMCAT's quality assurance may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected units.

Beware of Far East clones. These may violate import restrictions.

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Transportation: A suitable transportation case should be used for transportation to the operating site. Failure to properly ship a CAT unit may result in loss or damage to the unit and serious injury to the user.

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Installation Procedures: Upon receiving the CAT unit, the user should examine the unit to verify that all I/O channels are operational. Look for minor bugs in or on the system. Bugs are indicative of the MOMCAT production environment. The user may manually remove any bugs.

Bring the CAT to operation in an environment temperature at 20º C (± 3 º tolerance). Use a quiet room with the primary user(s) present. Open the transportation case and let the CAT unit auto exit. Initialize the self learning program catfind() by displaying the input bins. These should contain H2O (liquid state, room temperature, 99% purity) and dry energy pellets. Immediately afterwards, display the output bin.

If the user already has a CAT unit successfully installed, it may be possible to download BASIC routines to the new CAT. For the first day or two, the CAT will stay in self learning mode. When the learn buffer overflows, the CAT will auto switch to sleep() mode. This is normal. The MMU system will store the new information to permanent memory. After 72 hours, the CAT will be interacting with the operating environment.

The unit may be placed in direct sunlight. CAT units are operational in all axis: standing, sitting, or laying down. If all basic environment requirements are satisfied, the CAT system will produce a slight hum. This is normal.

A new CAT should not exit the primary site facility. Full portability comes after extensive burn in. Some users never let the CAT unit auto exit the site. The advantages are longer unit life and fewer bugs. Contact with pirate CAT units may lead to unplanned BATCH iteration. Contact with untested CATs may lead to virus infection. If allowed to exit, some CAT units may try to port across a street. Fatal errors may happen. If you decide to let your CAT out, it should have a READ_ME.TXT file with a system address and URL which identifies the host site.

Your CAT should have a system name. The name may need to be reinitialized repeatedly until the system can read it correctly. This lets you issue voice commands to bring the unit to an online state. Many owners give their CATs a secret password as well. You can also get the CAT's attention by booting the system. While this is effective, it is discouraged. Too much booting will abuse the system. Such units will sit across the room with its back to you.

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Applications: At present, there are few productivity applications for CAT.

MOUSE is a killer app. This is pre-installed.

Many owners use their system for game playing. CATs play best when they are young. Older units suffer a system timing decay which leads to reduced response and flexibility. Some CAT games are:

CACHE The CAT will CACHE a data string. Similar to the K9 unit game, but the object must be smaller.
JUMP Move the data string through the air. The CAT unit will reach new heights of operation.
MIRROR Place the unit in front of a mirror and watch it attempt to parse itself. Some units may ESCape. Reboot the system by calling its name.
CHASE Played between two CAT units or a CAT and a K9 unit. Units take turns as one is the data and the other attempts to parse it.
SING Offer fishy data code to elicit a range of audio output.
BUGHUNT Some CAT units are very efficient bug hunters.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maintenance: CATs will self-recharge. This takes 20 hours in a 24 hour cycle.

CATs are self cleaning and require little user maintenance. Do not clean the unit with alcohol or benzene-based solvents. This may lead to a violent explosion.

A CAT unit should be taken once a year to a VET (Very Expensive Technician) for a system checkup.

Do not attempt to open a CAT. There are no user serviceable parts inside. If a unit emits strange smells or sounds, it should be serviced immediately by a VET.

You may examine the rear of the CAT unit to determine if it has a male or female scuzzy port. CATs with a male port may emit a non-toxic aerosol. The VET can remove this component. CATs with female ports are plagued by periodic heating problems. The VET can fix this permanently by removing an internal part. Such systems run unix.

In senior CAT units, male scuzzy ports can become blocked, leading to extensive VET visits and serious performance limitations.

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Warning Notices: CAT systems are user-friendly. However, in certain known situations, a CAT may pose a danger to the user. Repeated jamming or obstruction of I/O ports may lead to deployment of auto-defense systems. Never attempt a first strike on a CAT system. Its CPU clock rate made to milspecs and thus classified, but JANE'S FIGHTING FELINES notes that a unit was seen by ham radio operators to be apparently moving at 500 mhz. Twin D-shaped five-pin spike connectors have an average seek rate of 3 nanoseconds. The manufacturer is not responsible for injuries to the user. These spike connectors require monthly maintenance to avoid damage to site furniture.

Do not poke anything into the CAT's I/O ports. CAT may BYTE.

In dry, cold weather, a surface electrostatic charge may build up. To avoid electric shock, stand on an insulated surface.

Do not operate the CAT above water. This may lead to end-user damage.

Carry a CAT firmly. Do not swing it by its "tail".

The self-programming feature of the CAT unit may introduce functions that are not user-friendly. For example, the CAT will quickly associate display of the transportation case with a trip to the VET or the offsite storage facility. In such instances, the CAT will self-initiate the ESCAPE mode. This requires the user to employ SEEK and CAPTURE programs to reestablish control of the CAT in order to place it in the transportation case.

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Service Life: As CATs become older, the learn program will recognize every situation. The CAT may become too smart for its own good.

CATs like to have their own toys. They often have hobbies, such as bird watching or studying tropical fish.

If you properly care for your CAT, it will give you years of loyal service. Many users get a second unit. Most users don't need the extra capacity, but they enjoy the ability to run complex simulation games.

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If the user will be absent from the host site for an extended period, provision for CAT maintenance must be provided. Options are:

Offsite storage. This may cause errors in user-associated CAT programs. Some reprogramming may be required.
Onsite maintenance by contractors. Contractors must have full access to the host site. They should provide full I/O service to the CAT and not boot the system.

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User Groups: CAT users can find other users and the faq on the Usenet newsgroups & other news type groups

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lifetime Warranty: The CAT unit is guaranteed against catastrophic failure. Nine coupons are included.

If the unit operates in networks that experience heavy traffic, some units may use all nine coupons in one confrontation. This can lead to system failure.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Known Problems: The Ctrl key on most CAT units is defective. This may lead to serious performance problems.

Do not install a BIRD unit at a site which has an operational CAT unit. These systems are not compatible. The BIRD unit may be erased permanently.

The self-cleaning feature that comes standard with CAT units has a capacity limitation. The unit's recycle bin eventually fills and then empties without warning.

CAT units have an internal clock. These normally initialize automatic programs (CLEAN, etc.) These cannot be reset by the user. The internal alarm clock often goes off 30 minutes before the user's alarm clock.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

System Features:

Models = Main frame, desktop and laptop models (smallest footprint in the industry). Available in 15 inch, 17 inch, and 19 inch sizes.
Interface = Touch sensitive interface for maximum user friendliness.
Memory = Not much. Upgrades available real soon now.
Expected Lifetime = 15 years with ± 72 months (although 20 years are common).
Weight = 3-6 kilograms without optional cables.
Speed = 3 nanoseconds search/find with self-uprighting supertwist technology.
Color Graphics = Either paper white, monochrome (black/white), 64 grey shades, or maximum of 16 million colors with 40 terabits of high resolution floating point pixels.
Sound Chip = 16 octaves, digital MIDI output (MI/OU).
Power Consumption = 250 grams protein daily (2 micrograms per second.)
Operating Range = -30º to +45º C (-22º to 105º)
Vibration = 5-500 Hz, one octave/min, dwell at all resonance points.

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Contacting CAT Technical Support
Our highly trained technicians are ready to help you. As soon as they wake up from their nap.

Submit your CAT bug report. Requests for enhancement (rfe), etc. Remember: it's not a bug, it's a flea. Don't bother sending in your complaints: just like your CAT unit, our technicians won't pay attention either.

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I hoped all you cat lovers out there liked it....it made me look at my two cats and laugh!!!!
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Comments
katzen11
i am also sending
my very best
birthsdayswishes
4 Jul 2008 - 5:34
toonie
Happy birthday dear XRAYSPEX!
4 Jul 2008 - 4:56

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