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> Getting Angry - Why Can't I Have My Happy Ending?, what if somebody else has him?
Mink&WillowsMom
post Jul 24 2007, 01:35 AM
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From: Western Washington
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Twitchit has been missing 23 days. Every so often I read that somebody kept a stray they found. "Maybe I have somebody else's Shadow" someone posted. That thought strikes horror in me. A nearby garden center found a Maine Coon, and after doing absolutely NOTHING to find her owner, I heard one of the staff is preparing to adopt her and take her home. That makes me so angry! Somebody's heart may be breaking at their lost lovely, and any adoptive parent needs to post flyers, take out ads, contact vets, have the animal scanned for a chip before considering keeping it. (Zookeeper: yes, thank you for trying to your adopted pet's parents.) I am horrified to think that somebody might have Twitchit, but isn't looking to find me. I have flyers out, ads, all the local vets and shelters have his photo, I've posted online at Craigslist, and the local radio station's website. I'm trying to make myself visible if somebody's trying to find Twitchit's mama. BUT WHAT IF SOMEBODY HAS HIM AND ISN'T TRYING? God help me, I'd rather think he'd died than to think he dumped me and is with somebody else just because their lap and food bowl is close at hand. That's a wretched statement. I feel awful for saying it. I should be happy if he were alive *anywhere.* But if he's dead, then I understand why he can't come home. If he's alive, I WANT HIM HERE.

This was so much easier when I was resigned to his death. But after Shadow's and Bennett's return, hope has blossomed, and that beast HURTS. I'm so distracted. I can't move forward. A friend wants me to plan a trip, and I can't imagine leaving. With Shadow gone nearly 6 weeks, and Bennett gone 8, maybe I just have to wait, maybe my happy ending is coming too??? What if I wait, what if I do my part, and I still don't get my happy ending? This is SO UNFAIR!! The whole thing. If I'd found his body, at least I'd know what happened. But the not knowing is just EATING at me. My concentration is shot. Aside from y'all, I'm struggling with this alone. I WANT WANT WANT WANT MY HAPPY ENDING TOO!!! ohmy.gif ~kimberhurting


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...You precious children, of four feet, whiskers, and mischief...
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toonie
post Jul 24 2007, 06:18 AM
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I totally understand how you are feeling. And I do agree, it just isn't fair, after your losses and all that you were doing to accomodate your Twitchit. I would try to consider planning for the trip, just because we have to believe that fate will be good to us, despite the hardships that have come our way. If you left for a vacation you would need someone to look after your kitties so could you arrange things so that Twitchit could come home and find his bowl of food there for him if he does? You could tell that person about Twitchit and that if he is back he should be placed with your kitties and not allowed to go back outside, wub.gif or at least, until you're back? Do go ahead for the vacation, I would not think that fate would be so unkind as to expect you to wait non- stop. Just make his coming back possible and leave the rest to fate. Get yourself a bit of fun, enjoy because it is too short and we do have a responsibility towards bringing a certain amount of satisfaction in ourselves as well.

P.S. and if someone is holding him, I am sure that Twitchit will eventually find a way to escape and get back in your arms. wink.gif for sure!
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paris
post Jul 24 2007, 06:24 AM
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Kimberly,

Your post could have been written by me. I understand 100% what you are going through.

First of all, I just posted a reply on the "72 hour missing" thread about widening your radius.

My mind could not settle on any one scenario. The "what if's" were driving me crazy. At first I was horrified to think he was taken by a predator, but at times I preferred to think that he had been killed quickly and painlessly, story ending there. Other times I was sure as someone said (Barb or Toonie..?), some "befuddled" but well meaning person had Bennett. This was frustrating to me but also provided some comfort.

I think one of the problems with a missing cat is that cats blend into the scenery, unlike a lost dog. Many cats look alike, and after speaking to a lot of people while looking for Bennett, some of them would tell stories of how a cat showed up and they assumed the cat was dumped or just some "stray" (in the sense of belongs to no one.) I think, like the person at the garden center, that people also think cats are out there for the taking (not stealing), that it is normal to adopt a cat that shows up. Part of this is probably because people hear all the time about over population of cats. Bennett is a tabby and looks like a thousand other tabbies. A Maine Coone looks more like a domesticated cat and should make people more liekly to think he belongs to someone. On the other hand, I also got a lot of phone calls from people who saw a cat and thought it might be mine.

I understand, Kim, the feeling of looking for a needle in haystack, and the frustration of not being able to control what other people do, or don't do.

Kim, I'm sorry if I'm repeating, but didn't Twitchet have a collar? If he was microchipped, you are covered if he shows up at a shelter.
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5catsmom
post Jul 24 2007, 11:39 AM
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Kimberly,
I had fantasies too, of someone taking Shadow in - mostly because so many people said oh, probably someone just took her in - and me finding out about it and taking someone to court or showing up on their doorstep or hanging around their yard and stealing her back - oh, it went on and on. And Maine Coons are such gorgeous cats and friendly that I can see some ignorant or immature person doing that. I think your best defense against that is to post signs and pictures with local vets, talking with their staff personally and saying you suspect Twitch may have actually been stolen or taken in by someone who's made no effort to find an owner. Because I think eventually Twitch would have to go to a vet at some point, or someone would have to see him - and actually I just noticed that you wrote that you have notified vets. Do you have a local cable channel you could run his picture on, or a local paper you could contact as a human interest story - you know, daughter tries to carry on father's legacy and is searching for his cat to do so? Publicity seems to be the weapon here against this. I hurt for you, cause I know those thoughts, and I actually found all the papers that showed what I'd done for Shadow over the years in case I did have to take someone to court for her. That's how intensely I felt about it. You do seem to be doing all the things most people do, but when you're dealing with a beautiful and somewhat rare cat like Twitch you may need to be more aggressive, like going to the paper or TV or someone who can notify the community in a big way. People love beautiful animals, and unfortunately seem to think of them almost as status symbols.

Do take care, and I send my best thoughts and if I can help, please let me know - Barb (I'm in Maryland, but if I can do something, I'm willing.)
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AlleysMama
post Jul 24 2007, 01:44 PM
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This is just one of the many reasons why I will never allow another cat outdoors. There are just too many things that can happen to them.

I will keep Twitchett in my thoughts and hope he finds his way home soon.


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Read Alley's Story

May 1, 1997 to December 9, 2006 - Always in My Heart
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5catsmom
post Jul 24 2007, 06:52 PM
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Or, maybe a letter to the editor of your local paper, or a letter writing campaign, maybe getting several of your friends - I'll contribute, if you like - to your local paper(s) laying out the whole story of your dad's passing and Twitch's possible abduction, etc. I don't see how that could be ignored by your community, but then I don't know your community. Even here in the DC area, though, I think that would get attention. Run up all the flags you can, and again, let me know if I can do anything for you and Twitch. I want your miracle almost as bad as you do! Take care - Barb
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Mink&WillowsMom
post Jul 24 2007, 11:30 PM
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I hadn't thought about an article in the paper, though I do have an ad placed for the next four weeks. I live in a small town, there's only one weekly paper. The radio station website posted his pic and blurb. There are three vets within 20 miles, all have his photo. There is no Humane Society for cats in my county, but both privately run feline shelters have his photo. His flyer is posted on the restaurant a mile away and the local store 5 miles away. He left home with a collar and ID tag, and he is chipped. (Oh how I wish he had 'kitty lojack'.) With regard to the paper, at the very least I could submit a Letter to the Editor, I suspect they'd be more than happy to print something other than the usual same ten people whining about whatever.

In the end, despite my earlier protestations, I really can't imagine someone else has taken him in. Dad and I were the only two who could get near him. He doesn't like to be held, and when he wants DOWN, there's no arguing with him, strongest cat I've ever met. When he had to stay indoors because of antibiotics, he made it quite challenging to get in and out without him zipping past. When he's locked in where he doesn't want to be, he gets loud and demanding. If he gets cornered, he paces, wary and restless. (He is aptly named, an overly alert, twitchy cat.) I just can't envision him settled down comfy in somebody's lap.

I'm trying so hard to get back to that place of resigned, "it is what it is." Ultimately, if he makes it back, it will be on his own, just showing up one day like Bennett did. It'll be up to him, and not because of any action I do or don't take. That frees me (a little) from wondering what stone I'm leaving unturned, but the flipside is that it leaves me helpless. I just wish I knew, one way or the other... ~kimberlimbo


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5catsmom
post Jul 25 2007, 12:18 AM
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Then, if that's his nature, and someone's taken him in, it's probably fairly unlikely that he'd stay with that person. I know you're worried sick, and I would be too, but you could also look at it this way - it's summer, there's plenty of small game around, he's a big cat who's smart in the ways of the woods, he's been gone for 24 days, he's got a heavy coat to protect him, and it's fairly unlikely he doesn't know his way back if he's been out before. Shadow was an indoor cat, so she had none of those advantages. I really do believe there's hope, especially if he's headstrong enough not to put up with staying with someone who he doesn't want to be with - he'd find a way out, bolt out the door or something. We're all pulling for you, Kimberly, we want your miracle and Twitch's too, and the odds are good for him. I know that unsettled feeling, I gave up my family vacation too, to stay home and look for Shadow (it was Iowa, I only missed cows and fencing, anyway), and I'll never regret that. Take care of yourself, and know that we think of you both often - Barb
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Mink&WillowsMom
post Jul 25 2007, 12:33 AM
Post #9





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From: Western Washington
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QUOTE (5catsmom @ Jul 24 2007, 10:18 PM)
(it was Iowa, I only missed cows and fencing, anyway)

*snort* Thanks for the giggle. biggrin.gif


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...You precious children, of four feet, whiskers, and mischief...
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paris
post Jul 25 2007, 01:28 PM
Post #10





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QUOTE (Mink&WillowsMom @ Jul 24 2007, 11:30 PM)
He left home with a collar and ID tag, and he is chipped. 

I'm trying so hard to get back to that place of resigned, "it is what it is."  Ultimately, if he makes it back, it will be on his own, just showing up one day like Bennett did.  It'll be up to him, and not because of any action I do or don't take.  That frees me (a little) from wondering what stone I'm leaving unturned, but the flipside is that it leaves me helpless.  I just wish I knew, one way or the other...  ~kimberlimbo

Kim,

I am glad that T. was chipped, and hopefully the collar is still on. The chip will cover ground for you if he ends up in some shelter or vet farther out. Phew.

You have flyers and ads out as well, so you are covered. In the meantime, I agree that thinking that somehow "it is what it is" and hope that Twitchet could come back on his own, as cats like this do. It may be easier to cope to have your feelers out, and forget about it (as best you can). The day before Bennett came back, my husband and I decided to comb our woods to look for a dead body. I was dreading finding one, but at the same time hoping for resolution. This is how horrible the not knowing is.

If you have the energy to do so, I think Barb's idea of the public interest story would be extremely powerful, and everyone would know about it.

A few weeks ago, some raggedy dog in a shelter was actually stolen (I know, sounds ridiculous...shelters are dying to give away their animals and some idiot steals one.) That dog was supposed to be adopted by a family after the weekend, and they were upset that this dog was stolen, even though they hardly had the dog. Anywho, yes, it made the front page of the newspaper, picture and all, and the dog was found and returned in 48 hours. Everyone was talking about "the dog Ralph". If you want, Barb or I could put our energy into the writing of the article...
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5catsmom
post Jul 25 2007, 08:53 PM
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Kimberly,
Long story short, you really have done all you can, no one can fault you on that. I did research the GPS system for the cat - there are several rather heavy collars, running about $250 - $350 for various weights, and different sensitivities. I had thought it was more like a chip, which would make more sense, maybe as time goes on some brilliant cat lover will come up with one - if I ever come into a million or so (Hah) I'll be happy to do a prototype and we'll try it out, there have to be dozens of people out there who would love to keep track of their kitties this way.

I was wondering, and this may have been asked before but my feeble brain loses track rapidly, is there a way you can find out if Twitch has been around your Dad's house anytime? I probably mentioned at one point in Shadow's thread about a Washington Post story about a local woman who's been looking for her cat since 2003 and has used video recording with infrared to tape her yard to see if her cat has been visiting her yard at night. I don't know if that's practical in your area or not, or how you even go about getting something like an infrared video monitor or how much it would cost, or cost to rent. But it might be useful to know if Twitch occasionally visits for a time - does he have a way in the house, or someplace you can find out if he's disturbed anything by being there? I'm just throwing out ideas here, but it makes sense that Twitch would occasionally check back to see if your Dad is around.

Someone on craigslist told me that occasionally dogs are specially trained to look for cats - one in this area is, anyway. I don't know about your area, but if it's a brushy rural area, there's probably search and rescue units around somewhere. I don't know how practical that is - I never called the one I was told about cause I think Shadow would have absolutely freaked if she saw a dog hunting for her.

Again, anyway, anyhow, let me know if you need anything. I know that empty feeling. I had people and animals in the house but I felt completely alone and cried so often it hurt just to blow my nose. One thing I think you should know though - I really do believe that your Dad would never hold you responsible, he sounds like a very understanding and caring man and would know you're trying your best. As a mom and a kid myself, I think we kids too often think we disappoint our parents so much more than we really do, and I really doubt that your Dad is disappointed in your efforts at all.

It may not be a shared belief by all, but I truly believe that a higher power, along with your Dad, is watching over Twitch, wherever he is. I think you're very wise and mature to accept "it is what it is." In the end, that's what life is all about, after all. I wish I could be that accepting - and some way, some day, you'll know. Again, let me know, and I'll do whatever I can to help. Take care and bless you - Barb
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5catsmom
post Jul 28 2007, 02:08 AM
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M&W's Mom,
I was just checking to see if you're okay and how your day went. I know how the days drag and you can so easily lose yourself in sadness and depression when a part of your life goes missing, Just letting you know, you and Twitch are in my thoughts and prayers and I think about you both a lot. Take care - Barb
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