Allie Has A Possible Tumor

This post is about my best friend Allie Cat who has been a constant companion for nearly 16 years. I took her to the vet on Thursday due to a cough and "horse" breathing. They took an x-ray and found a possible tumor in her chest. They said they could do further testing to determine what it might be but that cancer was a good possibility. They also sent me home with some anti-biotics. Although the results of the blood work were good, it also led to more questions and more decisions. After much consideration, I have decided to forgo any further testing/action (biopsy, possibly chemo and radiation). Allie did not fare well after the vet visit. She wasn't herself after I brought her home. It was like she was asking me...."Why did you do that to me?" She was very listless and distant. She slept all the time and didn't eat. I actually envisioned waking up in the morning to find her dead in her bed. Giving her the anti-biotics have been a real challenge and Allie seems to hate me for it and I have stopped. The vet said to give the medicine after a meal but she's not eatting now. (she was eatting before I took her to the vet) I think she equated eating with the administration of meds. Given her age, I honestly can't bear to put her through any more testing and pain. I would pay any amount of money if I would have the assurance that she would not bear any pain and that she would return to normal. But, I know that is not the case. Although I suspect her days are numbered, I have decided to try and make her as comfortable as possible and continue to show her my love as I always have done. That's easier said than done. I sometimes question my decision and now I am depressed and have eatan little myself and I have my crying bouts. I dred the day when I have to make that fatefull decision and bear it alone as a single person. For that reason, I am turning to this board for support. I ran across this the other day, and it is apparent to me that you will understand my pain. Please keep Allie in your thoughts and prayers.