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29 years old
Riverside, CA
Born Oct-3-1990
Animals, music, culture, the outdoors, activism.
Joined: 19-January 10
Profile Views: 684*
Last Seen: 28th January 2010 - 01:51 PM
Local Time: Sep 30 2020, 04:34 PM
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My Content
20 Jan 2010
Hi all, I am new here smile.gif My name is Molly, I'm 19 years old.
Last Thursday (1/14) we could not find my cat, Pompom, when it was time for him to come inside. I had a feeling that something bad had happened, since this was not like him. I woke up early, unable to sleep, and went outside to try to look for him. I asked a woman who was outside if she had seen a cat. She looks at me and says "Oh, honey, a cat was mauled yesterday."
My heart sank. I have relived this moment countless time in my head trying to remember how I felt at that exact moment. I felt shocked, sad, angry, wondered why I didn't know until now and somehow.
We got Pompom when I was about 5. He was a kitten.
There is a house two houses down with 2 Boxer dogs. They have gotten out of their yard at least 3 times that I remember and apparently have had problems with cats in the past. They got out and mauled him to death. It was in the yard next to me, I guess. I figured Pompom was sitting in the leaves under our bush, as he always does, and was ran out by the two dogs and then brutally killed. The owners never exercise them, so I assume that is why they got so aggressive towards my Pompom.
I volunteer at a humane society and always hear staff talk about how you should not let your cat outside. Well, I have had this cat since he was a kitten. He was 14 and spent everyday outside. He loved to sit in the leaves in the bushes in our front lawn or on the porch on his chair. He was happy there, smelling the air and feeling the soft leaves under his bush. I was angry hearing people say this, thinking they were calling me stupid, irresponsible, and to blame for my cat's death.
Animal control was called and some people say that they took his body. I went to animal control to try to find out what happened and they had no record of anything at all. Someone said AC thought my cat was a stray, even though he had a collar. I don't know where the collar is either... The owners of the dogs claim they didn't do anything with the body and don't know where it is either. They were not even sorry about their dogs killing my cat, just angry they had to pay to get them out from AC.
So here I am, without a body, collar, or any peace of mind. I am having the worst time getting over his death because it was so awful and painful and scary. I cry everyday and have lost my appetite completely. I have never felt so depressed before in my life. I don't have many friends, I felt like Pompom was my best little buddy. I loved to go outside and just sit with him.
I miss him so much, it hurts. I go back and blame myself for not being home or not putting him inside. I get angry, very angry, and I can't even figure out why.
Mostly, I wish that he didn't die such a painful, scary death and that we had his body and could know that it was respected and loved.
I want so much to be able to bury him and have a place to visit and feel like he is there, but I have lost hope for anything like that. He is gone. Forever. He died afraid and in pain...I hurt so much, I just want it to go away. Talking has helped me. I wrote a letter to him, that helped too... I just want to feel at peace with his death... I need to be able to accept the way that he died and accept that I do not have his body. I need to get over my anger towards people involved and the anger directed towards myself that I have. I'm just so sad and lonely without him. I literally feel like I lost a sibling, a family member. I hope that talking to many of you will help me. I hope to be here for anyone else to help too.
I love you Pompom, I miss you so much. I wish you were here, curled up in a ball on my bed again.
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