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> Heartbroken At My Beautiful Fenix's Passing, From healthy to critical in 9 days
My beautiful Fen...
post Jun 16 2018, 06:38 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 16-June 18
Member No.: 9,177



Hi, my beautiful snowshoe died two days ago, he was just over a year old. Nine days before that he was boisterous, very vocal and playful and always greeted us when we came in the front door.

One evening I cleaned all the tiled floors and then used an insecticide spray. Fenix settled on our bed as he always did when I cleaned the floors, until they dried out. The next day, I noticed he was quieter than normal, I fed him, changed his litter tray, fresh water etc and me and my husband went out for a few hours. When we came back, I suddenly noticed Fenix hadn't moved from his spot. I was slightly confused, but didn't really think much more about it. The next day, the same ritual and when my husband and I left home and returned around four hours later, there was Fenix still on the bed, this time quite sleepy. Friday was the final day he did a pooh.

We decided that we would pop him to the vets the next day as I had a strange notion it was a hairball that he couldn't shift. The next day came and he seemed to have perked up so we didn't take him. Sunday went by, Fenix was quiet but not too bad, we put it down to him perhaps being depressed due to being indoors all the time, so we put a little harness on him and took him out, he seemed okay. Then Monday arrived, he was quiet, sleepy, still hadn't dirtied his litter tray, but he was drinking water and urinating, but he wasn't eating much at all so figured there was nothing to dirty the litter tray with. We made an appointment at the vets and upon getting there, after blood tests, it was found that instead of having a red blood cell count of between 35-40, it was just 6. Severely anaemic, they kept him at the vets for further tests and to see if they could find cat blood to give him a transfusion.

We got a phone call that afternoon at 4pm to say the only blood available was in another country and it would take 24 hours to arrive, but first they were going to try to find the underlying cause and hopefully he would respond to that, they told us to pick Fenix up at 8pm and return him the next morning for more tests and a saline drip.

Now during the time between the phone call and picking him up, I suddenly remembered the insecticide spray. I looked on the ingredients and it said "Permetrina" which is Permethrin - toxic to cats and can be lethal. I immediately phoned the vets and said I thought he had toxic poisoning, they said they would do something and then told me to come back at 8pm. When we got there, he seemed brighter, the vet said the spray was not an issue and that if he had toxic poisoning, although the symptoms were similar, they weren't the same and they believed it was due to parasites in his blood causing his own immune system to turn in on itself and destroy his red blood cells, so home we went. The next morning, he was, once again, quiet, hadn't eaten, hadn't poohed, we went off to the vets. The vets gave him some recovery liquid, we left him there all day and went back at 8pm to collect him.

He was due back at the vets on the Friday morning at 10am.

Friday, I got up, he was facing the wall laying down, he mewed three times, I gave him some recovery drink via a syringe and put him gently on his sofa. After having my cup of tea, I suddenly went into his room and couldn't see him, checking behind the sofa, I saw him over the back against the wall just laying there, I stroked his head and suddenly he fell to the left. Immediately I picked him up and in a complete panic took him into the living room, whereby he gave two terrible screams.

I knew, but couldn't accept it. The next 50 minutes were a pure nightmare as his breathing became more and more laboured and his screaming occurred every several minutes. Several seizures followed and then suddenly he went quiet, breathing once every 10-15 seconds. Then he was gone.

To say we are heartbroken is a complete and utter understatement, the pain is completely unbearable. We pick his ashes up in 7-10 days time. I can't believe he is gone. My massive regret was not taking him to the vets sooner. The insecticide spray did not warn about being toxic to cats, only to marine life... I have no idea if it really was the spray or not.

I do however, thank God I was able to cuddle him in his last hour, for that I will be eternally grateful. I will miss my little boy and was so glad I was able to say I loved him at the very end. There are no words for the pain and no words to describe how much he is missed.
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moon_beam
post Jun 17 2018, 09:29 AM
Post #2


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From: Virginia
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Hi, My beautiful Fenix, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Fenix. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. To lose a companion so very young is incredibly painful. Your beloved Fenix is so blessed to have transitioned from this earthly realm in the place he loves the most surrounded by the sights, sounds, smells, and enduring love of his home and Forever Family.

My beautiful Fenix, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Fenix a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart from what Fenix's veterinary provider shared with you that the insecticide was not the reason why your beloved Fenix became so ill, but rather it was from something that caused his immune system to attack his sweet physical body.

Even in the midst of all the horrendous pain you are feeling now there is good news for the love bond you and your beloved Fenix share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Fenix's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Fenix with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, My beautiful Fenix, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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My beautiful Fen...
post Jun 17 2018, 01:19 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 16-June 18
Member No.: 9,177



Thankyou Moon_Beam. I have just spoken with my daughter about Fenix and she said that after our previous cat Kit, died, the hardest thing she found was waking up in the morning and the first thing she realised, was that he was no longer there. That is precisely how I have felt regarding Fenix too.

Your words mean a lot and for that I thank you.

I also have two other little quirky events that occurred that may be of interest to you, but to me were very profound.

When I first found this site, I was reading many of the threads and decided I would like to register and then put into words my own experience. I clicked on "register" and typed in a screename that I thought I would use, however a thought in my head which was very insistent was "no, do not use that one, use "My beautiful Fenix" " . I, however, went ahead and tried to register in the previous name I had chosen, only to find the registration whirred and whirred. I clicked "esc" and changed the screename to "My beautiful Fenix" and found it went through with virtually no whirring whatsoever. I had a little trouble verifying off the email, but all was good after emailing the Admin of this site.

Now that was the first strange synchronicity, the second one however, is rather bizarre, because you see several years ago, I tried to start a business and the name of that business was "Lightning Stryke"... spelt differently from this site, but even so... rather unusual don't you think...

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moon_beam
post Jun 18 2018, 11:59 AM
Post #4


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,063
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, My beautiful Fenix, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. First please let me sincerely apologize for misspelling your beloved Fenix's name in my first reply - - I have corrected that error.

Indeed, I know so very, very well how you're feeling about waking up only to be instantly reminded that your beloved Fenix is no longer physically with you, and your heart breaks anew. Perhaps you have read my topic on my beloved Noah who joined the angels November 11, 2017. Because of my senior years and my now tenous health challenges he is my last fur child for the remainder of my earthly journey, and our year together last year was a very difficult one for him because of my serious health crisis. Just as I was beginning to feel better my beloved Noah could no longer disguise that he, too, was in serious trouble health-wise which led to the only thing I could do for him - - release him from his failing, painful physical body that was being ravaged by abdominal cancer. Even though it has been 7 months now since his transition from this earthly realm I still have moments of deep sorrow for what he went through, and missing his sweet cheerful presence. So, yes, I do sincerely understand what you are feeling.

I'm glad you were able to successfully get your registration established. I do believe there are "forces" beyond our understanding that sometimes guides us to making choices we would not otherwise do. I'm also smiling at your choice of a name for your business with the spelling variation of Strike to Stryke - - perhaps another "sign" that your beloved Fenix guided you to this wonderful forum.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey, but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. One of the many important things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey, My beautiful Fenix - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, My beautiful Fenix, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Fenix's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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My beautiful Fen...
post Jun 18 2018, 05:03 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 16-June 18
Member No.: 9,177



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jun 18 2018, 11:59 AM) *
Hi, My beautiful Fenix, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. First please let me sincerely apologize for misspelling your beloved Fenix's name in my first reply - - I have corrected that error.

Indeed, I know so very, very well how you're feeling about waking up only to be instantly reminded that your beloved Fenix is no longer physically with you, and your heart breaks anew. Perhaps you have read my topic on my beloved Noah who joined the angels November 11, 2017. Because of my senior years and my now tenous health challenges he is my last fur child for the remainder of my earthly journey, and our year together last year was a very difficult one for him because of my serious health crisis. Just as I was beginning to feel better my beloved Noah could no longer disguise that he, too, was in serious trouble health-wise which led to the only thing I could do for him - - release him from his failing, painful physical body that was being ravaged by abdominal cancer. Even though it has been 7 months now since his transition from this earthly realm I still have moments of deep sorrow for what he went through, and missing his sweet cheerful presence. So, yes, I do sincerely understand what you are feeling.

I'm glad you were able to successfully get your registration established. I do believe there are "forces" beyond our understanding that sometimes guides us to making choices we would not otherwise do. I'm also smiling at your choice of a name for your business with the spelling variation of Strike to Stryke - - perhaps another "sign" that your beloved Fenix guided you to this wonderful forum.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey, but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. One of the many important things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey, My beautiful Fenix - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, My beautiful Fenix, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Fenix's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam, my heart goes out to you regarding Noah. So pleased to have found this site, it is good to talk to others who have been through the same, or similar experiences, it does ease the agony that's for sure.
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moon_beam
post Jun 19 2018, 03:25 PM
Post #6


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,063
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, My beautiful Fenix, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. There are no strangers here on this wonderful Forum. Even though we will never meet in person in this earthly realm, we are already friends for we share the common bond of deeply loving our precious, beloved companions, and it is the eternal love we have for, and with, them that brings us together here.

I hope today is treating you kindly, My beautiful Fenix, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Fenix's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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My beautiful Fen...
post Jul 29 2018, 01:13 PM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 5
Joined: 16-June 18
Member No.: 9,177



Hello, I have some news. We had decided to take in a lovely white cat that was at a rescue centre, he was due to go to the vets for a checkup and vaccinations and then if all was good, the adoption could go forth. The blood tests were double negative so all was great, unfortunately for us the foster family who was looking after him at the time decided they wanted to adopt him. The second cat we were shown a picture of by the rescue centre was a lovely grey cat, we said we would love to have him, but 20 minutes before we were due to receive their phone call the next day, I got a message to say the cat was FelV positive. I just could not face going through a possible repeat of a sudden decline in health and then death that I refused.

Move forward about 10 days, I saw at another rescue centre a wonderful Siamese cat. Requesting adoption, it turned out the cat was a master of escape and because where we lived, it could be a nightmare, so that was out. However, this was where fate seemed to take a hand, because somebody was asking for someone to take on his two female cats. He was unable to keep them due to where he was moving. Many people were offering to take one cat, but he was loathe to separate them as they were sisters and had been together for all of their lives.

After the Siamese cat was no longer available for us, I immediately messaged him and said if he was still looking, we would take both. We went to collect them yesterday and they are treasures. Two years old, one black cat and one tabby cat. They are longer haired so it will be learning as we go along with these two, I have been brushing them and the black one loves it, the tabby girl is more reserved.

Anyway, I just thought I would give a little update and say that although the other cats we applied for did not work out, perhaps it was for the best, because now we have two little girls to care for and it means they didn't have to be split up to different homes.
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moon_beam
post Jul 29 2018, 04:54 PM
Post #8


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Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,063
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, my beautiful Fenix, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Congratulations on your new companions. May you and your precious new companions have a long and happy, healthy earthly journey together. I have no dobut that your beloved Fenix guided your path to these two beautiful girls who needed a loving home so that they could stay together. I know your beloved Fenix is smiling.

I hope today is treating you kindly, my beautiful Fenix, and that you will have peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Fenix's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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