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63 years old
Ithaca, NY
Born Jan-18-1956
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Joined: 27-March 04
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Last Seen: 28th August 2016 - 07:00 PM
Local Time: Sep 15 2019, 02:50 PM
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Pet Lovers

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31 Dec 2015
I have 3 sweet Chihuahuas spending the evening with me. But I feel lonely missing Pumpkin, Babbs, Bubbles, & Pooh Bear who were dearly loved and are sorely missed. I'm sure Christmas is magical at Rainbow bridge, but I wonder what New Years eve is like. I lost Pumpkin 11 years ago, but I can't help crying as I write this
6 Aug 2013
My sweet pug/chihuahua mix died last
Friday. He was 15 years old. I know that he is at Rainbow Bridge and that he isn't suffering anymore, but I miss him so much. I am numb with grief.
Sometimes I arrive home, and I still expect to see him. My other 3 chihuahuas are mourning him, also. the house seems so empty without him!
16 Jul 2004
My little chihuahua Pumpkin died 4 months ago today and the grief is overwhelming me tonite. I still miss her so much and there is a hole in my life... I try picturing her happy at the rainbow bridge running and playing. She hadn't been able to run for several years due to a collapsing trachea condition common to tiny dogs. I sometimes feel selfish because I still wish she was here...
It's funny how safe Pumpkin made me feel and how much she comforted me. I really think that I depended more on her that she did on me. The world seems like a scary place without her. I sometimes still have thoughts that I know are NOT logical. We moved to a new home in Sept 2003, and I sometimes think that she would be alive if we had not moved. I avoid driving by our old home, because it makes me so sad... It still bothers me that I had gone shopping for 2 hours on the afternoon before she died that evening. I could have had those hours with her and I would give everything I own to get them back.
I still hope that she will visit me or even come back to me somehow. We adopted another chihuahua that was about to be put to sleep. I am starting to love him, despite the fact that he has many irritating behaviors - he barks excessively, goes around the house marking it with urine, and I can't let my birds out of their cage anymore, because he will go after them.
I love to read the posts here since it reminds me that I am not alone... Time is helping the grief to lessen, but slowly...
17 May 2004
I still miss my little Pumpkin so much that I still can't look at her pictures. It has been 9 weeks and the grief is less intense the majority of the time, but other times something reminds me of her and the intense sadness comes back.
My biggest guilt was that I hadn't taken her to the vet the day she died - I had called the vet who said not to worry. I was consumed with guilt over the fact that I hadn't somehow known how sick she was.
An interesting thing happened recently that made me feel better. Both of my sons were ill and I took them to the same doctor within a few days of each other. On one visit, I was lectured for 'waiting so long' to bring him in. Not only did I not think he was that sick, my son didn't think he needed to go to the doctor. On the other visit, my son seemed extremely ill and weak. This time, the doctor implied that I was a 'major over-reacter' and that my son only needed rest.
Not only can I never tell if my sons are sick enough for the doctor ( and they can actually tell me how they feel), I never can decide even if I am sick enough for the doctor, and I always seem to make the wrong decision...
How can we then expect ourselves to somehow know how sick our beloved pets are??? We can only do the best we can, and should not beat ourselves up over decisions we have made.
11 Apr 2004
It has been 4 weeks since my little girl, Pumpkin, left this world. The grief, though still overwhelming at times, has abated enough for me to gaze at her pictures and remember all the happy times. She taught me so much in our too short 5 years together about love, loyalty, forgiveness. She was my support during times when I was so discouraged I didn't want to go on...
Not surprisingly then, she has taught me so much by her death. She was only 7 when she suddenly died, and my biggest despair was that I had thought we would have at least another 5 years together. I struggled to accept that her life was so fragile and that it ended so unexpectedly. I had finally come to peace with this fact - then a lightening bolt hit me...
I was driving when suddenly I realized that my life is just as fragile as hers was!!!
I have been living as if another 40 or 50 years of life were almost guaranteed to me.
The sudden understanding that my life or the life of my sons could end just as unexpectedly has been a turning point for me. I have had a tendency to take for granted time with loved ones as if I could control its length...
I am striving to fully live and enjoy each day that I am given on this earth, accepting the fact that I have little knowledge of how much time is left. I no longer sit thru TV shows that really don't interest me, except Survivor of course!!
I am calling friends and family who I have neglected and spend time enjoying the sunshine and other pleasures that I used to take for granted.
I have been taught these things by the wisest, most loving creature I have ever known and I look forward to holding her in my arms forever when my life here is completed....
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