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Joined: 23-July 06
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PuppyMom

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25 Oct 2011
I took Lil'Dog in this morning and now she's gone. She was between 17 and 22 and had a huge growth that was bleeding and infected. I had her put down so that she wouldn't suffer. Now I feel that I should have gone to more lengths to see if I could save her even though the vet said that she was in pain. I should have put her on antibiotics to see. She was still eating. The vet said she was in pain. Now I'm in pain. I can barely breathe. I'm devastated. sad.gif
7 Aug 2006
I laid my beloved Dixie to rest today. The pain is unbearable, although her's was probably worse during the night last night. I didn't sleep at all. I laid on the kitchen floor with her. I knew by the morning that the time had come. The time I was dreading. I know she is out of pain now and that makes me feel better. The pain of not having her here with me is horrible.

She was a beautiful golden retriever with a smile that could melt your heart. I can't even believe she's gone. She has such a sweet soul. There is no replacing her. My three others will never take away the pain I feel from losing her. I will never be able to replace my others when they are gone either. (Please read more about her under the topic "tomorrow's the day.")

I wish you could all know Dixie. One of my big fears is that I won't remember every tiny little thing that Dixie did. Her sweet smile, the way she walked down the hall scratching her back on the wall all the way down, the way she always had to have something in her mouth when she greeted you, the way she tried to get well just for me, etc. She was an individual and I don't want to forget a single thing. Right now I want to mourn. I want to feel the pain. I miss her so much. Tomorrow morning when I get up I'm going to be horrified.

I sang a song while I was burying her in a very special place. Although I'm feeling horrible pain right now, I wouldn't trade those beautiful 10 years I had with her. It's all worth it. I would do it all again even if it hurt twice as bad. She was wonderful and I want to tell the whole world.

The song I sang as I laid her to rest went like this:

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world,
Wouldn't have missed loving you girl,
You made my whole life worth while,
With your smile.

I wouldn't trade one memory,
Cause you mean too much to me,
Even though I lost you girl,
I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

The joy I had with Dixie far outweighs the pain of her loss. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love you Dixie and may God bless you.
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7 Aug 2006
I had to take my Dixie to the vet today after a short battle with bone cancer and congestive heart failure. She was the sweetest thing in the whole world and I miss her terribly already. I buried her at my boyfriend's house by the pond and under an apple tree. She loved it there and she loved him. On this very day, she taught him that dogs really do have souls and I think his life will be a lot richer for that. I saw emotions in him today that were as new to him as they were to me seeing them in him. She gave alot during her short 10 years here on the earth. I hope I never forget a single thing about her. (Please go to "tomorrow's the day" to read more about Sweet Dixie). As we were saying our last good byes, this is the song I sang for her:

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world
Wouldn't have missed loving you girl
You made my whole life worthwhile
With your smile.

I wouldn't changed one memory
For you mean too much to me
Even though I lost you girl
I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

I love you Dixie Dog. You were the best! wub.gif
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23 Jul 2006
[FONT=Times][COLOR=blue]Some people know me as the dog lady. I have 4 beautiful dogs (I call them puppies even though they are all 10 years plus) and some people just don't understand. They are all my children. I love them so intensely and the people on this site can probably all empathize.

My Dixie Dog first started limping the beginning of March and then blew up like a balloon a few days later. The fluid around her sweet heart was so thick that the vet couldn't even see her heart. After 4 days of lasik and a loss of 15 pounds of fluid, she had x-rays that showed her heart very enlarged and bone cancer.

Since then, I've seen her quickly go downhill and today, she finally lost that beautiful light in her eyes. I sit here barely being able to look through mine, because I have made the decision to help her leave this world and go to Sammi and Lexi (the original Alfa when all 5 were here and my first kitty). I can't even believe that I'll be able to do it. I love her soooo much. I'm already doing the guilt thing like that I didn't give her enough attention, etc. The truth is that the amount of attention I've given these beautiful beings is like what most people do for their human kids.

How am I going to play God tomorrow and make this decision? How can I live without her?
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