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Posted by: Vikki Sep 15 2016, 01:20 PM

Hi, my name is Vikki. I am new. 2 weeks ago, I lost my beloved 7 year old cavalier king charles spaniel , George to congestive heart failure . We got George for my son, Ryan when he was 10. Ryan had always wanted a dog, but my cat was afraid. When my cat died, I searched for the perfect dog and found him. George was spoiled rotten, he ate with a fork, he had severe separation anxiety and went everywhere with us. We got a kitten as well, Major Anthony Nelson and they were best friends . We took George in for his check up and he was diagnosed with a stage 3 heart murmur. He had been to the vet a month earlier . I had multiple condults, multiple meds tried. My son left for the seminary as George was diagnosed. He lasted 2 weeks and was in stage 6. The Dr. Said he was dying, he could not breathe, and we put him to sleep. I have lost many cats , this is my first dog. I believe in some ways, George was sent to my son as an angel. My son was home schooled and did not have many friends. It just seems strange he died when my son left. I miss my baby George so much. I pray he is free of pain.
Thank you for listening .

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Sep 15 2016, 08:51 PM

Hi Vikki,

I'm so very sorry to hear about the physical loss of precious, sweet George !! What a LOVED dog. And it could very well be the case that he was sent to your son as an angel !

George is free of any pain and will never have to experience ANY pain---physical or emotional. He is a blissful, free spirit---able to be with you and wherever else he wants, at the same time, since there are no time-space limitations in the blissful realm he is in.

How is Ryan handling the news?

George knew, and knows, how much he's loved. He may be an angel to Ryan, but you and Ryan are HIS angels as well.

Please share some more here if you feel up to it.

Sending heartfelt prayers your way,

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 16 2016, 12:38 PM

Hi, Vikki, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved George. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Vikki, this grief journey is one of the most difficult experiences you will know on this side of eternity. Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend. Unfortunately our society in general does not and this is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where we can come to find the comfort, support, encouragement, and hope we need as we travel the painful adjustment journey to the physical absence of our beloved companion. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

As our forum friend Kathy has already so comfortingly reassured you, please permit to affirm her words of encouragement: Your beloved George is now in heaven's perfect garden where there is no grief or pain. He is now restored to his former youthfulness and is in the company of each of our beloved companions sharing his story of how you diligently and lovingly took care of him during his earthly journey, and all our beloved companions are nodding their heads in agreement as he shares his love for you and your son Ryan - - his forever Mom and brother - - his forever family.

Although this grief journey is filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved George share, for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Vikki - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved George with us, Vikki. Perhaps sometime you will want to share a picture of him with us - - but only if / when you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 16 2016, 01:44 PM

QUOTE (LittleGirl'sMommy @ Sep 15 2016, 09:51 PM)

Hi Vikki,

I'm so very sorry to hear about the physical loss of precious, sweet George !! What a LOVED dog. And it could very well be the case that he was sent to your son as an angel !

George is free of any pain and will never have to experience ANY pain---physical or emotional. He is a blissful, free spirit---able to be with you and wherever else he wants, at the same time, since there are no time-space limitations in the blissful realm he is in.

How is Ryan handling the news?

George knew, and knows, how much he's loved. He may be an angel to Ryan, but you and Ryan are HIS angels as well.

Please share some more here if you feel up to it.

Sending heartfelt prayers your way,

Kathy

Posted by: Vikki Sep 16 2016, 01:55 PM

Thank you both so much for your heartfelt words. Ryan is dealing alright with it. He does not talk much aboutit. I hope he is with his friends at the seminary. I know what it is to lose a pet, I have lost 5 cats in my life. My first cat, I found in college and she lived for 13 years. I had no children then. When she died, I had her buried in a pet cemetery in NJ with a casket, full funeral, and played the Carol King song, Way over Yonder. She is buried on a beautiful hilltop in the country. People would decorate their pets grave sites for holidays better than human graves. I will get through this, but I know it takes time. I have lost my mother, my father and my sister, so, the grief is even harder. Bless you all for your kindness.
Vikki

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Sep 18 2016, 08:28 AM

Hi Vikki, just wanted to check in on you. There are no words to really describe the depth of grief and the journey through it. Do you have supportive people in your life? How is Major Anthony Nelson handling this? And any more news on how Ryan is dealing with this huge loss?

Please write any time!

Hugs your way,

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 18 2016, 10:13 AM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It doesn't matter if our grief journey is our first experience or our thousandth - - each grief journey is uniquely painful because the relationship we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. And when we experience a loss this can "trigger" memories of previous losses which can resurrect feelings of deep sorrow that we thought we had already reconciled, and can intensify the current grief journey. So please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - but still very normal. Even so it is important that you know you are not alone in your grief adjustment journey. Please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief adjustment journey for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 18 2016, 11:48 AM

QUOTE (LittleGirl'sMommy @ Sep 18 2016, 09:28 AM)

Posted by: Vikki Sep 18 2016, 11:51 AM

Hi Kathy,
I am doing ok. No, I have not spoken to Ryan. I think he blames me. He is mad at me for a lot of reasons and my husband enables him. It makes me feel alone. I am grateful for your support.
Vikki

Posted by: Vikki Sep 18 2016, 11:52 AM

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Sep 18 2016, 11:13 AM)

Posted by: Vikki Sep 18 2016, 11:56 AM

Hi moon beam,
Thanks for checking up on me. You are very kind. I know about the triggers. I saw a cavalier yesterday and just started crying. Have you ever done the Monday night candle ceremony ? I was reading about it online, but don't know much about it.
Vikki

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Sep 18 2016, 06:16 PM

Aww I am sorry things are so difficult right now in many ways.

In time, things might be looking up. Please take good care of yourself. You have a big heart !

And write as often as you wish. We're here for you.

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 19 2016, 11:54 AM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I personally have not participated in the candlelight ceremonies, but understand from others who have that they are very meaningful for them. There are some websites that offer virtual candle memorials which you may want to check out as well.

I can so understand how you felt when you saw the cavalier as you share with us "I saw a cavalier yesterday and just started crying." It's hard seeing other precious souls in any situation when your heart is shattered with grief in the physical loss of your beloved companion. And all the "rationalizing" that your mind provides in an attempt to comfort you doesn't change the fact that your heart and arms ache to hold your beloved George "just one more time." This grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved George, and it is a painful journey particularly during the deep grief.

I'm so sorry that your son and husband are not being supportive of you when you need them. I'm so glad you found this forum and hope you are finding the comfort, support, and encouragement you need as you travel your grief adjustment journey. I know I have mentioned this already, but it is important for you to know you are not alone - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 19 2016, 12:36 PM

Thank you again. Today is a hard day. My son is acting irrational, trying to convince my husband to give him money to go to England when we just sent him to Russia. He won't come home for Thanksgiving and my husband says it is all my fault. I can't take it. I want my parents and my George.

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 20 2016, 12:28 PM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I know so very well from first hand experience how difficult family dynamics can be. And I can most certainly imagine from seeing what my mom went through with my siblings and our biological father how heartbreaking enduring through this turmoil is for you - - in addition to enduring the grief adjustment journey in the physical loss of your beloved George. Unfortunately I cannot change your circumstances but I hope in some way you will know you are not alone in your journey, Vikki - - and sometimes knowing that can be of some encouragement and comfort. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that hopefully in time - - and hopefully before it's too late - - your son will come to realize how valuable you are to him.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 20 2016, 02:05 PM

Hi, moon beam.
Doing a little better today . I went on the rainbow bridge candelight service last night. It was nice , but confusing. The leader was trying to do the service and people kept posting when you were supposed to remain silent. I could not keep up. Too confusing. Before, during the chat, they kept asking me what signs I have had from George. I have had no signs. I had a cardinal appear when my mom died and he still shows up, but I do not really know what they were asking.
Vikki

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Sep 20 2016, 04:07 PM

Hi Vikki,

I'm glad you are a little better. As moon_beam has described, the grief journey is so much like a roller coaster!

The candlelight service does sound hectic ! I find it odd (on similar things I've been to online) when people don't stop "chatting/typing."

About the signs, not all people may get, or notice, them. When I've felt really "in tune" I have gotten signs from a lost pet but for me, it's rare. I rarely feel that in tune. Maybe the ones asking you have experienced signs themselves? And maybe you will get some from your sweet George. If you don't, that is not odd at all !!

I'm sorry things have been so difficult at home! Are you and your cat sticking close together?

Stay in touch!

Kathy

Posted by: Vikki Sep 20 2016, 08:30 PM

Hi, Kathy
Yes,Major Nelson and I are best buddies. George loved me, but he loved my husband and Ryan the most. Major was my birthday present 7 years ago. He loves to travel, goes everywhere with us on vacations, and is the biggest talker I have ever had in all my cats combined. He is my baby.

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Sep 20 2016, 09:04 PM

I am SO glad to hear that, Vikki.

QUOTE (Vikki @ Sep 20 2016, 09:30 PM)

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 21 2016, 06:21 PM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm sorry the candelight ceremony did not go well. Like you and our forum friend Kathy I also had tried live chat forums but found them very confusing. So what you experienced is not unusual.

Our forum friend Kathy has so comfortingly addressed the topic of "signs" from your beloved George. Please do not be concerned if you don't receive some form of "communication" from your beloved George. Not getting a "sign" from him is no indication of how close a bond you had with him.

I'm so glad you have your precious Major Nelson to comfort you and keep you company. He sounds like a real sweetie.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Major Nelson kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Major Nelson are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 21 2016, 09:19 PM

Hi Kathy and moonbeam ,
Major Nelson is a sweetie, but a big baby. I live on the coast of Georgia and I hate lizards . They freak me out. Major likes to sit in the garage, ge is an indoor cat. Today, he was staring at something and it was a huge lizard. I was trying to get it out of the garage and my big baby was hiding in the corner. I lost the lizard, opened the door to get inside the house and Major ran in like his feet were on fire. He is a strange one. He hides from bugs in the house as well. Thank goodness he is an indoor cat. My first cat, Toni would find mice and drop them on my head. She was a street cat . That was in NJ and led me to run out of the house screaming at the top of my lungs. Cats and dogs come with completely different personalities. I love them all.
Vikki.

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 22 2016, 02:28 PM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so smiling at your memories of your beloved Toni as she reminds me so much of my beloved feline companion Eli. Eli was a "street" kitten before I adopted him, so he was very "efficient" with his hunting prowess. He was allowed outside on a long tether to enjoy his woodsy yard, and many a time he would bring in various creatures to let loose in the house and then "hunt" - - some of them being Black Snakes still very much alive. So I started keeping an old broom at the door and when he would bring in one of his "prizes" I would sweep it back out the door and then quickly close the door so that he couldn't go out and retrieve it - - much to his dismay. It was my beloved Eli who helped me get over my dire fear of snakes - - at least Black Snakes, but my preference is still "live and let live".

I hope today is treating you and your precious Major Nelson kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Major Nelson are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 22 2016, 05:09 PM

Hi,
Eli sounds like Toni. Major refuses to go in the garage which I am happy about. I do not like snakes either. I think my baby misses his brother George. It is Major ' s birtday on October 1st and I am having a party for him . I will be taking him in his stroller to the beach where George loved to play and let him watch the seagulls from his enclosed stroller.
God bless
Vikki

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 24 2016, 11:55 AM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Major are doing. How nice you are having a birthday party for your sweet Major, and I know he will enjoy his trip to the beach. I will look forward to sharing your news how things go, if you would like to share that with us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Major Nelson kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Major Nelson are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Vikki Sep 24 2016, 12:23 PM

Thank you moon beam
We always had big parties for George. He loved the birthday song, so I will do it in his honor. How are you doing?
I had another lizard scare . He is alive and well in the garage. I barricaded my kitchen door and taped the edges with packing tape. I am a lunatic. And yes, the Major ran like the wind again😨😨.

Posted by: moon_beam Sep 25 2016, 11:31 AM

Hi, Vikki, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Major Nelson are doing. I know your precious Major Nelson will enjoy his birthday party, and I know your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit will be there to observe the festivities as well, even if you may not "feel" his presence.

Your Major is blessed to have you for his Forever Mom protecting him from the lizards that invade his home. It sounds to me like you did the right thing in barricading the kitchen door to keep the lizard from coming inside the house. We have small lizards here in south central Virginia that my beloved Eli used to hunt and enjoy as a snack. I understand from what I read once on the internet that they taste a bit like chicken - - I will take the author's word for it.

My precious feline companion Noah and I are doing well, thank you for asking. It is a cloudy very humid day here. Even though the temperature is only in the 60's so far today, the humidity makes it feel very stifling.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Major Nelson kindly, Vikki, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved George's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Major Nelson are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam