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Anna
38 years old
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Born June-19-1981
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Last Seen: 16th October 2016 - 07:46 AM
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Anna

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2 Aug 2005
(I originally wrote this as a response to the message that Helena posted about Pumpkin's passing)

Hi Helena, I feel terrible about your loss. I can relate.
I was just browsing through some sites on the loss of a pet, and came accross this one. I cried so much reading through all the messages posted in response to this sad.gif I feel like I need to tell what has happened, though its very, very difficult.
I was in absolute shock when I heard on the phone, just last Saturday (3 days ago), that one of my 2 cats, my beloved 5 year old kitty Angel, (brown w/black stripes) MAY have been run over right next to my mom's apartment building. My mother called me back 10-15 minutes later and confirmed. Yes. It was him. I was walking on a side-walk, and just, collapsed, right then and there, unable to get up, or say anything, I just cried. He wasn't an outdoor cat, he had gotten out of the window and was found in the play-ground area right next to the buliding. I burried him yesterday, (My mother and boyfriend were there too) and was in so much pain I couldn't even stand next to his grave even for 1 minute, I felt like I HAD to go, pain was unbearable.
What made things even worse, was that my mom said that it could have been a predator, fox or something, because of the nature of the wounds, and that he was not right next to the road. I am having absolutely nightmarish images af what COULD have happened. And feeling guilty for not telling my mom to NOT let him out at all (She occasionally had let him out a few times to relax in a bushy area, where he just enjoyed being for a couple of hours.)
I've had cats basically all my life, but NONE, of them, were as dear to me as Angel. He was (Have so much trouble saying "was"), my constant bed companion, he comforted me so much, lightly carressed my face with his claws (ouch), and gazed into my eyes, as if to tell me that he loved me dearly. I'm going to miss him terribly!! I often think he was/is an actual angel. I am still in shock. I still can't believe that he won't be coming home to my place with his sister Buffy. (yes, was in a "buffy the vampire phase" when they were born. Actually watched them being born, as the mother cat belongs to my mom)
I also feel very bad for her, Buffy, because she lost her brother and only companion. I 'm also feeling unable to physically go to my place, because everything reminds me of him. Everything. There's one thing that I can't forgive myself over. I've read many, many books about cats, and in several it has the listing of the top three killers of cats in the wild, 2 of which are the most likely causes of Angel's death: Traffic, and predators. I should have remembered (!) and never let it happen:( Feeling guilty. I just want him back. But I know thats not an option... and it tears me up inside.

I want to express my pain for everyone out there that is suffering the loss of a pet, I'm glad I found this place, its so good to talk about this.

Much sympathy to you all,
Anna
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19 Jun 2008 - 11:24

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