Five Months Without Moustache, I still miss you buddy Options

[Moose Mom]

Today is five months since my Moustache kitty left this earth. How can it have been that long since I have seen that cute little face? Or found just the right thing to feed him? I still worry about how you are, where you are, who is flossing with you and rubbing your tummy. I'm just gald you don't have to be sick anymore baby.

I wish I could see you again, have you demand things from me, get a hug and a kitty kiss. I still say 'good morning Buddy' every morning, but to a box, not to a warm furry. I hate that. You were so alive, so vital, how could it change so fast? One half hour and my life changed forever.

It's a hard day, made harder because my Autumn kitty scared us to death last night. We got her two months before we got Moose, she has been our rock to cling to, our bridge between our new realities. When she goes outside we always go with her. Lately we have let her off her leash and just follow her. She is usually such a good girl. Last night she went walkabout. We got distracted for a few minutes, I had to go inside to check on dinner and my husband was watching Majik. Majik is just learning how to go outside on a leash. He was born outside, just learning to be social with people and doing well, but we worry. When I came back outside Autumn was nowhere to be found.

We checked all her usual places, and called, that usually works. Not last night. We waited a while but she is generally quick to come back. We got in the car and drove around the neighborhood. Didn't see her. We went door to door in the area we know she goes, couldn't find her. One of our neighbors was helping us look, he is a sweet man. All we could think of was that she was inside somewhere, but we couldn't find her.

I came in and got the phone number and address of the closest shelter, I was going there today, and printed a map to it. Then I designed and printed up a 'lost' poster. I wanted to get them up asap. As I was taking the poster to show my husband I walked past the front door and there she was, asking to come in. OMG I couldn't get the dang door open fast enough. In the end she was only really gone about two and a half hours but it felt like that many days!

Waiting for her and not knowing...it was so hard. It put me right back where I was five months ago. I couldn't eat dinner, wanted to vomit, didn't feel like I could breathe, felt like I was having a heart attack...even after she came home I couldn't sleep. I didn't know I was still so fragile.

Oof this is a long post, I’m sorry. I guess I just had to get that out. All is okay, Autumn is home safe and we will be more vigilant. I guess this was a lesson in getting complacent and not taking for granted what is so important in your life. I keep getting that lesson, you’d think I’d have learned it.

I will love you forever buddy