Hello Everyone I'm new to this website and I recently lost my baby girl kitten princess on (June 16, 2014) due to a car hitting her. I still remember like it was yesterday that she was brought into my life princess was a street kitten I actually saved her from my neighbors dog when he was trying to attack her. This dog was attacking her bad so my heart was hurting that I decided to get her out. Well that very instant that princess was in my arms she brought a lot of joy into my whole life. I still remember that it was in winter time and since I live with my mother I didn't know if she wanted me to keep her in the house or not. So We had to leave the poor thing outside in the cold in order to ask permission. I did made sure that she was warm in a blanket before I left her outside. Then in the very morning without me telling my mother her heart completely melted as soon as she saw my baby princess out in the back porch. She immediately carry her into her arms and brought her inside an thats when the whole story started with my baby princess. We began to care for her because she was seriously hurt because of that dog biting her. Every day we feed her bath her and gave her all the love anyone could give a beautiful baby calico kitten like she was. before princess arrive into my life I never knew I was a pet lover an how much love a pet could bring to someone's life. Day by day my love began to grow for my princess and I was practically her mommy, her legal guardian because she was always by my side. She was a very cuddling kitty that also loved to play with all my kids. she was never a cruel animal like most of them are. She was always whiling to give all from her to my whole family. Until that horrible accident happen on June 16, 2014. That day I was not home an this happen at night when I return home I couldn't believe my eyes I still remember I didn't park my car right and immediately rush out of my car running because I saw a cat in the middle of the road not wanting to believe it was my princess. As soon as I approach her I immediately let out a huge scream it was my baby princess the one lying there with one of her eyes pop out sad.gif I immediately broke down into tears pick her up hold her in my arms wishing that she was not dead and still alive. I began to scream please princess please come back to me baby girl Please tell me that this is all a dream that you are still with me. But She was not moving or doing anything at that very moment I didn't want to leave her sight or have anyone take her from me.

But apparently my husband took her from me and I was screaming and saying noooo!!! you cannot be gone princess at that very moment I didn't know how to react I was in a complete shock just by looking at my baby girl with one of her eyes pop out. It was one of the most horrible things I could ever experience in my whole life not even a human being hurt me as much as my princess did. Now I blame myself how can I didn't do anything to save my girl by taking her to a vet to have her check. Maybe if I took her She would of still be alive by now, but at that very instant I didn't know what to do but break down into tears and until this day even though it been 3 months since I lost her. I can't find peace or comfort that she is no longer with me. My family doesn't care of what I'm feeling now not even my husband. I'm completely alone in my grief process I feel so lonely that ever since that happen to my girl I been trying to reach out for help but unfortunately I been unsuccessful. I don't know what to do or who to turn to in order to help me with this healing process this whole experience I'm facing right now is causing me a lot of stress in my personal life. I have no friends to even talk to or just to say hey how you are doing today. I'm just so depress I wish my family was able to understand how much I'm hurting right now. All they say is hurtful things and tell me you are over reacting she was just a cat sooner or later you will buy another one. How can they say that she was not just an animal she was my baby my best friend my everything and I can't seem to live without her. I'm going crazy right now I'm even seeing my girl everywhere I go her scratches in the door, meows, her little face in my room, I even feel a presence trying to get in top of my bed in the middle of the night. I'm so miserable right now that nothing seems the same I'm even losing desire of the things I just to enjoy before help!!! The reason I decided to join this website is because I saw the word pet loss and I immediately thought that maybe in this place I was able to receive some kind of guidance or support in helping me with this loss I'm going through right now. I'm not sure if others are experiencing the same loss like me, but if you guys are I'm so sorry my heart goes out to each and everyone of us who are going through a loss or had one before. I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post my story if not let me know where I'm able to post it so that people are able to read it and provide me with at least some feedback. I can't take this pressure pain anymore I need some help from anyone in here in how to feel better an what to do when this type of things happen. thanks for reading sad

I will like to share a picture of my princess so that everyone is able to meet her I hope I uploaded right and everyone is able to see it. if not let me know thanks everyone.

Sincerely,

Mayra

Oh My Goodness, my heart goes out to you and your precious little angel. I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. Know that on this site you will never be alone. We all have lost furred and/or feathered children, and they meant the world to us. I understand your pain. I hope that being on this forum will offer you the love and support you so desperately need right now to help you through your grief.

(((((((((Hugs)))))))))

Hi, Mayra, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Princess. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so tragically intensifies the grief.

Mayra, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way in your own time because you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Every time our companions touch / rub against us, kiss / lick us they are literally chemically imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us from the many other people on this planet. When our companions precede us to the angels we literally go through a chemical withdrawal from this imprinting, which is one of the many reasons why this grief adjustment journey is so very painful both emotionally and physically.

Although clinical professionals recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society in general, and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us emotionally and geographically, do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here for each of us to come to share what is in our hearts with people who truly do understand. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Mayra.

In the depth of your sorrow as you travel your grief adjustment journey to the physical absence of your beloved Princess there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Princess share. Love is eternal, Mayra, it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Mayra - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And one of the ways our beloved companions let us know they are still with us is through the many experiences you already have had as you share with us: "I'm even seeing my girl everywhere I go her scratches in the door, meows, her little face in my room, I even feel a presence trying to get in top of my bed in the middle of the night." Please let me try to reassure you that you are NOT losing your mind. Many of us here, including me, experience the same thing with our beloved companions as they reach across the Rainbow Bridge to let us know they are still forever with us even though we can no longer physically see or touch them.

Unfortunately there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. It is not a "straight line" journey from "A" to "Z" but rather a journey that has many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds - - particularly during the deep grief. But I assure you, Mayra, that it will not always be this way. One day when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Princess and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will feel the warmth of your and your beloved Princess' eternal love once again. But until this time comes for you, please know we are here for you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Princess with us, Mayra, and this wonderful picture of your sweet little girl. She is so adorable. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Mayra, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

When I visited this site today, as I do several times a day due my own losses, I saw your post and also that moon_beam was already reading your post. I just read her response to you. As always, loving, understanding, and full of words of wisdom. She will always be there for you, as she is for so, so many members daily. All of us are struggling with the loss of a beloved companion peep. I'm farely new; some members have been here for years and continue to return.

I recommend you read this blog post. The comments are comforting, too, as they will give you a sense of connection and that you are not alone, just as you are not alone here: http://christinekane.com/on-losing-a-beloved-pet/. It will help you through your journey.

Much love and light

What a beautiful baby she was.

My heart goes out to you. Many years ago my dog accidentally popped her eye and though it was resolved with a quick operation I remember how horrified and shocked I felt on seeing that.

I don't need to repeat what others have said. What I feel from reading your post is that your grief has been made so much harder by the lack of understanding and support from those around you.

I haven't posted my grief story yet but I felt compelled to comment to offer my support, understanding and hugs. I've been reading posts here for the last week and I believe you have found the right place to help and support you through your loss.

Thank you Monique. I really appreciate your kind words apparently that is the main reason I decided to research some type of support group because I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let it out or I was going to go crazy you can't imagine how I'm feeling now I don't know how to handle this grief princess was my first kitten and it feels horrible losing. I really don't want to go through another lost again may I ask what kind of pet did you loss and when did you lose yours?

Thank you Vanaja. I know its such horrible thing to even look at our pets in that type of condition, I'm so sorry to hear that your dog had that same experience as my little princess did. is your dog still alive? where they able to save one of hes eyes that was out? yes apparently my grief is hard because all I get from my family or even friends is negative comments about my baby girl. believe it hurts to know that even your own family members don't understand what you are going through and all they do is offend you. I'm not sure if you are whiling to share with me what happen or not but if you are you can always email me anytime that way I'm able to meet new people on here. I just register to this site last night and I'm still kind of lost in what we suppose to do here.

Thanks for the website that you offered me Monique. I did visit it and I thought that it was of a lot of help to me, because apparently everything that they are mention here is occurring to me now. I have a lot of anger, blame not only at me but also at my husband, my mom and kids because I thought that maybe if everyone could of care for her that night. nothing like this would of happen and she would of still be with me today. Tomorrow is going to be 3 months since I lost her I know that its already been months but ever since she passed away I haven't been feeling well and didn't have the desire of researching support like I did last night. Right now I still have anger and blame at my whole family including the driver that did this to my little girl. I'm not sure if I will ever be feeling well I just wish the worst to that driver that didn't think of causing me this pain. He/or she left me with a empty heart that it hurts more that a own human being. I'm just so sad right now I'm even thinking of taking my own life away just to be with my girl

Awww thank you so much for those kind words Moon beam I really appreciated your words gave me so much peace and comfort and I never thought that someone will care and say those wonderful words to me. I never thought that a pet could hurt so much that only a human being was able to hurt us but not a companion such as our pets. unfortunately yes I cant believe our closest family is able to hurt us the most instead of them being their for us in any sense of the word. But now I feel that how can someone understand what you are going through if they never own a pet before? only people that own pets are able to understand how it feels like to loss a best friend. My princess was my first kitten and what hurts me more is having her for such a short time. She was only with my 6 months I wish I was able to share more wonderful moments with her. But apparently one dumb driver took her from me, I'm just so upset and hurt right now that I wish the worst to that driver that cause me this horrible pain. I just don't get it how can someone have a bad heart and kill a small in defensive pet and just leave them in the middle of the road without helping her/him. My princess was just a baby that still needed her mommy to protect her but I feel awful because I was not able to protect her that night and now she is gone. I feel like I betrayed her in all the sense of the word. I feel so shame of myself I'm not sure if I will ever feel better of this loss I'm experiencing right now I cry day and night going back to were my princess grave is and just taking her out I really miss her

Thank you so much Monique, moon beam, and vanaja11. I'm so sorry about my unorganized replies to all of you as you can all of you see I'm berly new here and are still getting familiar with the features on here. But I thank each and everyone of you for your kind words and for taking the time to reply to my posting it means a lot to me knowing that people in here do care of how we are feeling. Hugs an God bless each of you

Mayra

That happened about 18 years ago. The dog (Mary) was in the garden and the vet was not sure how she could have popped her eye out. It was put back in place with a simple operation. Mary went on to die of old age/kidney disease 4 years after this incident.
I had adopted a semi feral barn kitten (Tommi) the same year as Mary's eye incident. Tommi was the runt of the litter and needed nursing back to health. Two years later she was deliberately run over and died at the vets the following day. I went through a severe reactive depression after that, which wasn't helped by the fact I was married to a very callous man.

I adopted another cat (Jerry) soon after, then a second (Angus) a few months later just after I moved away from my old home and husband (I took Mary with me through she was originally his). I believe I pushed down the horror of Tommi's death until Jerry died a couple of years ago of a sudden heart attack. I was with Jerry when she passed and handled her death quite well, but it brought back the loss of Tommi and 16 years after her death was the first time the word 'murder' came into my mind.

I haven't joined the forum due to the loss of any of these companions. I'll tell Horace's story when I'm ready.

I'm so glad that you are spending time here, among people who truly understand and feel your pain. Writing down my thoughts has always helped me and I'm glad to see you are also writing and trying your best to stay in touch and reach out. Regarding your question as to who I lost and when, if you click on my name, you can get to my profile and see all my posts. It may help you to spend some time reading there. I lost my MacKenzie, cat of almost 12 years, on 11 July, followed by my bunny, Tabitha, on 4 August. Losing MacKenzie was/is one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I searched for help, advice, anything to hold on to,... and found this forum.

I'm not creating a post for every loss. I have a large, complicated household of many species "left over" from my active rescue days. I have many more losses on my horizon. I lost heavily prior to MacKenzie as well. All different scenarios. One exactly like yours many years ago. It was heart-wrenching. With MacKenzie I had thoughts of not wanting to go on. I can't categorize these thoughts as truly suicidal, but I seriously did not want to go on. I had no idea how to take my next breath. My entire world was cloaked in darkness. I cannot recall what happened in the days after her death other than that I managed to get out of bed to care for the many I still have. With losing MacKenzie, I experienced some what I call emotionally violent feelings, like anger. Anger towards the vet for not guiding correctly. Mainly anger towards my so-called friends who have simply not been there for me. A wide range of responses, from no response, to "it's just a cat," to totally apathy, uncaring, and irritation. I have read the writing by Christine Kane many times since losing MacKenzie. The parts about judgment, anger, guilt. I understand explicitly what you are feeling. My best advice is to shut doors to these people. For me, for some, I have stopped all contact. For others, I just put up a virtual hand, put on a fake happy face and pretend everything is well. I have sought out and found people and places (like this forum) that offer understanding and comfort and no judgment. People who do not comfort or support you only add insult to your grief. You are in enough pain already and to then process these types of reactions is a virtually impossible undertaking.

It seems like such a trite and empty thing to say during this time when your pain is searing: You Will Be OK. I have come a long way since 11 July. Allow yourself to grieve and feel the pain. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Your grief is a way of celebrating this very precious little soul and how much she meant to you. You saved her life and filled her world with so much love for the short time she was on earth. I have lost peeps after having them for only a short time. In my grief, I eventually found comfort in knowing that God crossed our paths for me to provide while the little one was transitioning to His care, and to show that little soul that life on earth can be loving, caring, and free of pain. I lost a cat years ago I put outside. He had a building in my back yard that was all his own. A ladder to the window was his door to a room where he had food, water, litter box, play toys, warm bedding. He visited with me every day and lounged with my dogs. He loved his freedom. He would jump over the fence and explore the neighborhood every day. After he disappeared, neighbors who lived many streets over told me they would see him come by. One night, I heard a blood curdling scream. My heart stopped and I had chills from head to toe. In my gut, I knew that was Toby. I called out his name. I could not find where he was or really exactly in what direction the scream was coming from. I fell into instant denial, but I knew. I never saw Toby again. I put up posters, checked with animal control, talked to neighbors, searched, checked his living area for signs he had been there. For months. Nothing. I learned many years later he had been killed by a neighbor's dog. All the grief bubbled up again. Guilt, anger (esp. towards the neighbor who was too cowardly to come forward to tell me what happened- there were pictures of him everywhere!), sadness,... After much processing, I came to believe he lived all of his nine lives in the span of a few years. He had more fun and freedom running around the neighborhood and basking in the sun than he ever would have had inside my house, where he was seriously challenged with all the other felines and having me around, as he remained feral while in my house. Outside, he actually tamed towards me! He would even sit in my lap. His ending was horrible, but his short life was fabulous.

Hi, Mayra, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that everything you are feeling is very normal deep grief. I promise you the searing intense pain you are feeling now will eventually ease. Unitl this time comes for you, though, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Grieving is both physical and emotional. The stress of grieving causes real physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, lack of concentration, feelings of despair, disinterest in everything - - especially things that used to make us smile, lack of control over our emotions, etc.. It is vitally important that you give yourself the opportunities you need to openly grieve for your beloved Princess even if you must find a private place to do so. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grieving. Some people think that if they suppress their grief it will make their sorrow less painful. Clinical studies prove that suppressed grief is very unhealthy and can cause medical challenges later on that may need emergency medical intervention. So it is very important that you find healthy ways to release your grief and sorrow.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief journey but unfortunately the only way is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - with the reassurance you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Mayra, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh my goodness Vanaja 3 losses already how are you able to handle them? I'm so terribly sorry to hear that you have lost them the way you did if it would of been me I would of been going crazy already. Were these losses that you had were they close together or one part from the other? I hope I'm making you feel bad with these questions. I completely understand how you feel right now and that you don't want to talk about it. it does hurt and sometimes we have a hard time even expressing ourselves so don't worry when you have time to tell me about your other loss I will be here to listen. you will be in my thoughts and prayers take care.

I've had more than that over the years.

Dogs: my childhood pet Sheba died when I was 11. Then we had Raffles, who was adopted after being abandoned then killed by a car after we'd had him a couple of years. Next came Nikki from an animal shelter, then shortly after, Jess, who we literally picked up from the street (she was running down a dual carriageway; must have been thrown out of a car). They both died of old age long after I left home.
After I left home came Mary. After she died (and I had remarried) came Cole, who was from a friend's dog. The year after we got Cole when we were thinking of getting another dog, Leo followed Cole and I home from a nearby park.
Leo died in 2010 (don't know his age) and Cole followed in 2012 at age 11.

Cats: My cat story also started as a child. My parents used to feed the local strays and one (Carrots) became pregnant. My dad built her a shelter and she gave birth to three kittens. I can't remember what happened to Carrots. Of her kittens, one moved in with an elderly neighbour and the other two (Skittles and Scruff) came with us when we moved out. Scruff died in a road accident and Skittles died of old age after I left home. before I left home we had another, Sophie. She went out one night and never returned. Took me a long time to come to terms with that and my parents never have.
When I was living with my first ex husband, his ex wife's cat had kittens and one (Heather) went to my parents. She died a couple of years ago at age 16.

After leaving home there was Tommi who died in 1996, Jerry left me in 2012 of old age. Angus is still with me. Oni was a stray who lived in the garden from 2007-2010 as he is not a dog person. He packed his bags and moved in the same day we took Leo the vet to help him cross the bridge. Oni had a young cat friend. They got friendly enough to produce 3 kittens in late 2010. We brought them inside as it was about to snow. Mum Cleo stayed. I intended to adopt all the kittens out but Ellie decided she was staying too! Her brothers went to colleagues of mine and have marvellous lives.
My marriage broke down when Ellie was 7 months old. Cole moved with my husband. We both took him to the vet to cross the bridge.
Horace turned up in the back garden two years ago. I think he used to belong to an old man who lived behind me. He was unsure about moving in at first but allowed me to carry him inside during a heavy rainstorm. He just died suddenly from eating or drinking something toxic. I need to do a separate post about him.
Ed turned up in my kitchen last year as a very young kitten. I can only assume some 'kind person' threw him into my garden.
A neighbour's cat Bonnie moved in with me for a few months but ran off the day Horace died.

So now I am left with Angus, Oni, Cleo, Ellie, Ed and two strays I've been feeding for the last couple of years.

I cried for all of my angel pets last night.

Dear Mayra

My sincere sympathies to you and hugs and comfort for you in your grief. Your darling Princess is such a beautiful girl and she will always be that way.... the pain right now is unbearable, but given time you will be able to remember her and think of all the happy times you shared. She is forever a part of you, I do so believe that our darling pet companions never really leave us, physically yes, but not spiritually. Always watching over us and not wanting us to be sad.
This site has helped me so much over the last 5 years and I have made and kept many wonderful friends, who helped me through my grief. Please let us know how you are. Posting your pics and your lovely poems, are a wonderful tribute to sweet Princess.

Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels, Tasha, Noushka and now also my sweet Pixie (1 year at the rainbow Bridge) xx

Dear Mayra, your story is so much like mine and it broke my heart reading it, as I too lost my beautiful baby boy the same way as you lost your darling girl. Such a pretty little thing she was and such a lucky girl to have found someone kind to love her. I know all about the grief, the guilt, the if only's, the what if's, had them all.
The only thing that helped me was coming to this site, before that, I was on antidepressants and even they didn't take away the pain. it was like living in a fog day and night. If I hadn't found this site and all the wonderful people here who truly understood exactly how I felt, I don't think I would have coped. Everybody was telling me to get over it because it was only a cat, but to me he was my whole life, my soul mate.
People used to tell me it takes time and you know, it does, even though you don't see it at the time, because all you want to do is get over how you feel now without waiting, because it's so unbearable.
When you share your pain with people who truly understand, it is better than therapy, because all of us here have gone through this same devastating pain ourselves and we understand and don't judge.
It is five years since my loss and I only really started to heal after I adopted another cat after eleven months of unbearable grief. Now I love him so much, he is similar to my other boy, you know the right one for you when you see them, your souls click and you have an immediate bond.
Sending you my sincerest condolences Mayra and hugs xoxo

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Vanaja,

I'm so terribly sorry that you have experience all of those losses my heart hurts for you right now. Even-thought its been a while from your losses I bet it still hurts you and makes miss all of your babies. I wouldn't think I will be able to stand another loss the first one I'm going through now is hurting me so much that nobody is able to understand. Maybe the loss of my baby hurts me because she was not able to be with me for so long and this tragedy happen. I did save her once from that big dog and she was pretty much injured when I got her out of that yard. And now that this happen I was not able to saver her and she did die. I think I fail her as a mother because she was counting on me and I let her down. Maybe she was waiting for me to come and save her but this time I was not able to save her since I was not near her when she got hit. I Know it does take time before our grief gets better but day by day I'm feeling even worse that this happen to me. I don't understand how can anyone be able to stand such a loss I know that people are been saying that coming to this website is helpful but sometimes we just get support from one or two people not a whole lots of them care about our pain

Janika,

Thank you so much for your wonderful words. I don’t think my pain will ever get better my baby was the only one that was by my side when I was down or needed a comfort hug. I still remember she just to cuddle with me and I was the one that was always there when she needed something. It still breaks my heart to remember that same day before she passed away. How happy she was by moving her tail and was standing near me waiting for me to feed her. That day I gave her food a couple of hours before this happen she seem very happy. I also pick her up and told her I loved her and I cannot forget her eyes looking into mine. All my family right now blames me for letting her go outside because that moment she was with me I told her princess go outside. And I still remember she turn her whole body back inside because she didn’t want to go out. Maybe she had a feeling herself if she went outside she was never coming back. The reason I feel devastated now is because I was not able to share a lot of memories with my princess. I don’t even have pictures of her except one and that is the one I have share here.

It breaks my heart that she was only with me for 6 months or even less I still regret not wanting to take her in a car ride when my children told me mom princess is following us to the car she wants to go with us. An all I did was say no princess cannot go with us go back inside. Also that night she was hit I still remember she following me to the car wanting to go with us but I did that same thing reject her and send her back home. I also drove away that night and I did see her as I left that she was outside just looking at us as we drove away. If only I would return back and pick her up maybe she would of still been alive today. I’m so sorry but I just can’t help feeling this way. Nothing seems to comfort me right now I know that people from this website been trying to support me with their kind words but not even that is helping me. I know there’s a lot of member in here that are in pain in only like 1-3 of them respond to you and support you. Maybe in here just support those who they are know because us the new ones are just left alone without nobody caring

I'm so sorry to read about your last memories, and how overcome you are with guilt. It is an emotion we are all very familiar with. It does indeed lurk about and strike when you are most vulnerable.

Insofar as your last statement about only a few responding... I respond only to a few here and there. I have read many, many stories, and have found comfort in knowing I'm not alone. Mostly I don't write a response. The pain is too great depending on where I am in my grief journey. If you look at your post statistics, you will see that you have many visitors. You can also see how many people are on the site at any one time. People who come here read, they understand, they weep with you, they may well have had a very similar experience, they may find comfort knowing they are not alone with you here. For some, like me, I do best if I can get it out. Talk, write, talk, write some more. For others, silence works best for them. This is not an ordinary forum. People with extreme pain and discomfort are looking for help here. Many cannot talk about their pain, or need the right window or state of mind to reach out in words.

(((((((((((Hugs to you))))))))))))