Hi to All,
This is my first post to this site. My name is Larry, and I am the owner of a beautiful Husky by the name of Sera. About a year ago she was diagnosed with inoperable cancer which manifested itself with a tumor on her left hind leg.
I have watched this thing grow and slowly take away all the pleasurable things we did together.

We used to walk between 4 and 5 miles a day, and when the weather was right she would go for a swim in the pond, trying to catch the ducks that shared the pond with her. Needless to say that was an impossible task, but it did not stop her from trying. The ducks would just "honk" and easily swim away.

Now, all those great days are gone, and she has trouble just standing up. She is very stoic, so she does not give into pain. I have some pain meds for her, but they just seem to take all the life out of her, to the point where she would not even eat. I thought the time had come to put her down, and we were broken hearted. As the day went on she seemed to perk up and began eating again and regained some of her attentiveness. This happened the last two days, so tonight I am not going to give her the pain meds. She does take multiple other pills for her liver and her thyroid.

I know I am going to have to put Sera down soon, I will not let her suffer. But at the same time I do not want to take away any day that she might be able to enjoy. Right now she seems to want to be with us. whatever part of the house I am in she wants to lay down and be with me. More later, thanks for listening.

P.S. As foolish as it may seem, I am writing this with tears in my eyes, as I relive these memories

Sera is and has been a GREAT dog both in beauty and disposition.

I am so sorry about Sera, enjoy your days together. It is awful watching your soulmate decline...and making the decision to euthanize is so painful....you don't want to do it too soon, yet you don't want to wait too long....a delima all of us have faced. Your story is very much like Margi's (Ladywolf)...you and her seem to be experiencing the exact same thing. I hope you can find comfort here, I know I have.

I will be praying for good days ahead for you and Sera.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom

Larry, my name is Donna. I'm sorry you've had to come to this forum but it is a very comforting place to be. I'm sorry about your sweet Sera. Your relationship sounds like the kind that some people never have the joy of knowing. I desperately know how hard it is to watch your baby decline and begin to leave you. And it's not foolish at all to write with tears in your eyes. Anticipatory grief is just as hard, if not harder, than the actual grief itself.
Please keep us posted. My heart goes out to you as you possibly face her last hours. I've lost 2 babies in the last 7 months and will most likely lose our lab, Buck, within the next year so I understand how hard this is for you.
-Donna

Dear Larry--

My heart truly goes out to you--and tears are NEVER foolish!

Yes, your story and mine are almost the same. See my threads on "Ladywolf" and "How to Savor the time with a dying pet." Same medical problem too--inoperable cancer in one of Lady's hind legs, that is slowly growing and taking over her ability to get around. Perhaps we might talk one of these days--I'll send you a Private Message later.

I am so, so sorry for your plight with Sera. Like you, I am determined not to let Ladywolf suffer--but I don't want to lose a single cherished moment with her, either. I don't know how I will make the decision--I just think that I will KNOW, and she's not at that point yet. If Sera is still alert and eating, then she may not be ready to leave either.

My heart is with you, and I'll write more later...

Big Hugs--and cry all you need to!

Margi and the Wolf

Larry, we all understand and sympathize with the pain you are suffering. My Charlie died of renal failure and his demise was shockingly fast, but the dog I had before him declined slowly, of the same disease, over many months. Like you I agonized over the decision to end his suffering. I went through the same torment of not wanting Kris to suffer yet not wanting to deny him a single enjoyable day either and tortured myself up until the very end, and for several months afterward. I prayed so many times in those awful weeks leading up to Kris's death that he would die in his sleep to spare me the choice I knew I would have to make eventually, but when Charlie died of a sudden, massive stroke as I sat beside him on the sofa, the shock was so horrible that I still have no memory of the initial hour or so after his death. There is no easy way to get through something like this and as others have said, tears are a blessing because they help release some of the pain. Cry all you need to and come back to this site often. It has provided immense comfort for me and so many others, and hopefully it will do the same for you.

Barbara

Hello Larry,
Sorry to hear that Sera hasn`t been too good, its horrible to see your beloved pooch suffering and its even harder when you know they aren`t going to get better, we have all been there so really can understand your feelings.
As for tears there is nothing at all wrong with them. I had to make the decision to have my beloved Rufus PTS 5wks ago and its one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life and I still have lots of regret, also I still cry everyday.
I have found this site a fantastic help as I think only people who are going and have been through the same thing can really understand.
My thoughts are with you
Debbie xx

You know, Larry, based on my experience with Ladywolf and her open bleeding tumor (that one is gone now, see my P.M.), Sera may still have a lot longer life left in her. Don't act prematurely--

Hugs--Margi and the Wolf

P.S. I can't access my P.M.'s for some reason right now....

Dear Larry and Sera

I can't really add much to what others have said but I know that you are going through a very hard time right now, watching for every change in your darling Sera and wondering what to do that will be the best for her. It sounds to me that she is still enjoying being around you, so I would make the most of that and just carry on with your loving and caring. Every moment is precious with our darlings and she will let you know when it's time for her to move on. You sound to be a great 'dad' to her, and she sounds like a great girl. I love the nordic breeds as you can see from my postings, my Angels are Samoyeds and our newly aquired rescued 'Pixie' is a Samoyed crossed with Husky or Malamute.
I am thinking of you both and sending prayers and hugs.
Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

I don't think Larry will mind that I reveal to you that I just got a call from him, and that he is taking Sera in today to assist her in crossing the rainbow bridge. It is so sad--just like Ladywolf, Sera looks like she's in good health, except for her horribly debilitating tumor. I feel so much pain for him and for Sera, but now she will be out of pain.

Please send your prayers and good wishes towards Larry and Sera and her friends, especially today.

Margi and Ladywolf

I'm so sorry to read your post Larry, my thought and prayers are with you and Sera today.

Thanks for updating Margi.

Hugs to you Larry and your precious Sera.

Larry, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear Sera.

Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

Larry
You and Sera are in all of our Prayers, we are all here for you.

Hugs
Annas

I am so sorry Larry. We are all here for you and will help you deal with your grief. Just remember that you made your decision out of love, Sera would have just kept declining and would have been in pain, she is now healthy and happy again.

My love to you and Sera,
Rhapsedy

Hi, Larry, please permit me to add my belated sympathies in your journey with Sera. I do so know what you have been going through. It has only been 40 days since I had to send my precious baby kitty daughter, Abbygayle, to the angels due to end stage III Fibrosarcoma. She had stopped eating and had begun limping on her bad leg. Although increasing her pain meds may have helped with the discomfort in her leg, I could not let her starve to death. It was obvious she had lost joy in her quality of life, she was very uncomfortable in her physical body, so even though it broke my heart, and her sibling brother's heart as well, it was time to let her go home to the angels.

I am so glad you have found this forum, Larry, for each of us here does know what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. I wish there was an easy way through the grief journey, but it's a one day at a time journey with emotions that seem to fly all over the place, particularly in the beginning. But one of the most important things to remember, Larry, is that you are not alone in this journey. Even though each of us may not be able to immediately respond to the posts, for whatever reason, we are with you in spirit each and every step of the way. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Larry, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Larry--

Even though I've been p.m.'ing you, I wanted to add my support here too. I know that you're in a lot of pain, and wish that there was some way to wave a magic wand and make it all go away, for you and me and everyone here. But, obviously, there is no such thing, and so we have to just keep on truckin' through our grieving processes, agonizingly slow as they are.

Sera was a splendid dog and it seems so unfair, as it does with Ladywolf, that she should be cut down by a tumor when she was otherwise in good health. But sarcomas and other cancers seem to be a common means of our loves ones leaving us. Many, many pets on this Forum have died from Sarcomas.

I don't have anything particularly original to say to help with your healing--just that a lot of people, obviously, are thinking of you and caring, and that I am among them. Please be gentle with yourself during this difficult, difficult time. Sera wouldn't want you to suffer TOO much on her account--instead, to be happy for her life.

Big, big hugs to you--Margi and Ladywolf