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 Rocky My Precious Hero, i really need help |
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 Feb 24 2012, 07:28 PM
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#1
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Group: Banned Posts: 86 Joined: 21-February 12 Member No.: 7,493  |
Rocky, my MOST beloved and precious hero, guide, soulmate, master, and my everthing died 8 days ago.i have been tormented with regrets that i didn't bring him home from the vet so that he and i could spend the last few days together at home saying goodbye. Instead when the cancer showed in the xray to have spread throughout his stomach and spleen and the only option i was given was to euthanize i couldn't stand to see rocky struggle another minute so i agreed.
I miss Rocky so badly I feel so terrified and scared to not have him with me physically because he was not only my precious child he was my soulmate, partner and my everything. I rescued rocky. I won't go into that detail because i know he doesn't want to be remembered for what he was in but for what he blossomed into: a strong, courageous, wise, noble, handsome, gracious, regal, brilliant prince. His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I. It made my whole world to see him doing good and happy and thats what i lived for and to do I really need help. I feel like I'm not gonna make it Can someone or people respond to me with kind and healing words I really need help right now Hesista |
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Feb 24 2012, 11:11 PM
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#2
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 36 Joined: 1-January 12 From: NJ Member No.: 7,420 |
QUOTE (hesista @ Feb 24 2012, 07:28 PM)  Rocky, my MOST beloved and precious hero, guide, soulmate, master, and my everthing died 8 days ago.i have been tormented with regrets that i didn't bring him home from the vet so that he and i could spend the last few days together at home saying goodbye. Instead when the cancer showed in the xray to have spread throughout his stomach and spleen and the only option i was given was to euthanize i couldn't stand to see rocky struggle another minute so i agreed. I miss Rocky so badly I feel so terrified and scared to not have him with me physically because he was not only my precious child he was my soulmate, partner and my everything. I rescued rocky. I won't go into that detail because i know he doesn't want to be remembered for what he was in but for what he blossomed into: a strong, courageous, wise, noble, handsome, gracious, regal, brilliant prince. His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I. It made my whole world to see him doing good and happy and thats what i lived for and to do I really need help. I feel like I'm not gonna make it Can someone or people respond to me with kind and healing words I really need help right now Hesista Hesista, what you are feeling is very normal. By letting Rocky go and ending his suffering you showed the ultimate act of love that you could. My situation is very similar to yours so I know how you feel. You ARE going to make it. Guilt is a very common and overwhelming emotion that we feel when we have to make such a hard decision in letting our fur babies go. Please dont beat yourself up for doing what you had to do. Rocky knows how much you loved him and even though he is not there with you physically he will ALWAYS be with you in spirit and in your heart. You will see Rocky again someday at the Rainbow Bridge so keep the faith and GOD bless. |
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Feb 25 2012, 01:21 AM
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#3
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 49 Joined: 4-January 12 From: San Diego CA Member No.: 7,423 |
Hesista
You came to a great place. Everything you are feeling at this very minute is the same for all of us. I too made the very difficult decision to lay my baby Diego to rest just one and a half months ago. The veterinarians help to guide us when we are faced with such a horrible decision, they do this everyday, and they also watch pets suffer unnecessarily when they can be released from the pain and suffering. You made the right choice, given the facts and knowing Rocky would be suffering more than he could endure, the vet and you knew it was time, as did Rocky. This was the last gift you could give Rocky here on earth. He is now released from his pain and broken body to run free with all the angels up on the other side of the rainbow bridge. He is smiling and youthful again, waiting til one day far from now you will reunite. You gave him the best life a dog could want. You were beside him every step of the way, no one could've come close to having the relationship you had. You made his short life absolutely perfect. And I know he has done the same for you. But your job is not done, you need to keep his memory alive and go on as he would want you too. He is still with you in spirit, nothing can break that bond between you two , not even death. He is and always will be in your heart and soul. I know when it is calm again someday you will feel him around you. This grieving we have to go through takes many turns, but one day, as unbelievable as it may seem now, you will be able to think of him and smile. For now though, you must take it day by day, moment by moment. Cry, talk, smile, but go easy on yourself. You did the best for him and he knew it, and in the end that is all that matters. Please read the materials on this site about coping. They really do help. You are not alone, we all know how extremely difficult this is and we want to be here when you need us,please keep us updated and feel free to talk about anything you desire. You are in my thoughts tonight and I am keeping you in my prayers. God bless you and Rocky Cheri |
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Feb 25 2012, 02:34 AM
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#4
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 Group: Moderators Posts: 845 Joined: 24-March 04 From: Maine Member No.: 274 |
QUOTE (LittleGirl'sMommy @ Feb 25 2012, 03:30 AM) Oh {{{{{Hesista}}}}} my heart goes out to you during this nightmare you are living through!!!  I SO agree with Mario that "Guilt is a very common and overwhelming emotion that we feel when we have to make such a hard decision in letting our fur babies go." When you found out about Rocky's condition, you were so very desperate to prevent even 1 more minute of struggling for him that something in you, something very wise I feel, took over and made the right decision - the most compassionate decision for him, yet the most heart-breaking one for yourself. This follows the true definition of love: wanting the best for the other person or animal BECAUSE you love Rocky so much, the "wise" You took over and made a decision that he couldn't make for himself. Had you brought him back home for awhile, you might have felt that you had put him through too much. I really think you did the right thing. Not easy!!!!!!!!!!!!I honestly believe that had Rocky been in your shoes, and you had been the one with the cancer that had spread throughout your stomach and spleen, he would have made the same decision that you did. I believe that Rocky is thanking you for making the decision you did. But now you are alone (in the sense of not having his physical presence there with you) and you don't know how to go on. I know what it is like to have a precious animal as your Soul Mate (my cat Sunny is my Soul Mate). And now the seering pain of a world that changed in an instant, and life feels completely empty - as though you truly can't go on. As though there is no more life, because Rocky's visible self isn't there with you! I'm feeling pain in my chest and tears in my eyes as I write this, because to me it is the most nightmarish pain I can imagine. If this helps at all, please remember that you WILL see Rocky again (I believe his Spirit really is with you, but it's not the same when you can't look into his eyes and hold him! ). For him, the separation time will seem like an instant. For you, the time ahead seems impossible. But Rocky wants you to be ok and to be able to live with "just" his Spirit there - for now, until it is your time to join him in Spirit. Knowing he is there, but just not visible, would it help to tell him about any regrets you have? Regrets and guilt are a completely normal part of all grief. But you are feeling them, and maybe it would help to tell him (even though he already knows, and he is saying "Mom, it's ok. You did the right thing!"), or write a letter to him and pour your heart out. An exercise I thought of the other day is to cut out pictures of the pets I have lost (who I still have so much regret and guilt over that I'm stuck in pain), paste them on a page of paper (I'm thinking of doing one pet per page), and cut out a picture of myself and paste that near them. Then draw in some bubbles (don't know what you call them? the ones that appear in, say, newspaper cartoons to show who is talking) - some for the pet and some for me. In my bubbles, I would say all kinds of things that I want to tell them, explain to them, the love I want to express. In theirs, they would tell me the things I know in my heart they feel for me - the forgiveness, the love, the reassurance that I did the right thing, or that if I hadn't done the exact "right" thing, I did what seemed like the right thing at the time. I realize you may not be ready, or even want, to do such a project. I decided yesterday that after all these years, today was going to be Day One of facing this, of finally beginning the healing I need to do. There is a free " class" that I found the other day online called "Healing Through Grief" and I'm going to do that, plus the project I just described, plus spend time at LS, and some other things I would be glad to share. Maybe we can help each other. I realize that some are going through the acute pain of a recent grief, some like me are stuck in old grief, and some are experiencing both. Do you have strong support at home or nearby? (I say strong, because when I have lost a furbaby, I know I cannot speak about it to anyone who would not fully understand. When I lost my Little Girl in '04, I pretty much stayed in, kept this website up on my computer, watched movies, and had maybe 3 people I could talk to. Everyone else....... wouldn't have gotten it and would only have made my grief worse. I don't know which options you have, and which ones might help you. For instance, do you have a job you need to go to every day? Could you take some time off if you need it? Do you have a friend who "gets it" who could stay with you, or whose home you could stay at for awhile? Is there an in-person grief support group nearby? I hope this rather rambling note wasn't too all over the place. I will write more soon. Please keep in touch. I am so glad you found this site and I hope you keep sharing your feelings here. You are among people here who really understand. You WILL get through this, even though right now it seems like an impossible feat. With the right support, you will do it, and we will do it together. With heartfelt empathy for your pain, Kathy -------------------- Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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Feb 25 2012, 09:13 AM
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#5
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Group: Banned Posts: 86 Joined: 21-February 12 Member No.: 7,493 |
Thank you Mario, Cheri and Kathy. Your compassion and caring to reach out to me is a lifeline for me when i feel i going down. Thank you all for your letters. Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers
Kathy thank you so for your empathy. The way you helped me understand what truly happened helped me more than you will ever know because deep inside i know that's true. Rocky had the most beautiiful big brown eyes in the whole world. It terrified me to think of ever living without seeing those gorgeous eyes every morning when i first woke up. I loved stroking his face, head and ears and tell him he was my hero. I hugged him every chance i got and told him how loved he is I have no one close who understands. Yesterday, i got desperate and called someone and he just ended up talking politics and started yelling at me and got very mean and rude because i don't agree with him. That made my grieving so much worse because i feel so FRAGILE AND VULNERABLE AND I FEEL I COULD EASILY BREAK. So his meanness and yelling broke whatever little i was holding onto i was devastated and shattered me inside even worse. Then i called another friend and she curtly said "I'm busy, goodbye"i felt so rejected yesterday in my attemps to get a little support, it was not a good day So all your letters were a healing balm. i too cannot interface with this world anymore. I can't stand to go out, talk to anyone, i can't even stand to go for a short walk or even look at anyone. I just hide from the world. Unfortunately i have to go out to buy food and daily survival necessities and i come back from town completely shook up because i just can not endure the way people act towards me, i just feel too fragile Kathy i do completely understand what you are experiencing, its too painful for me to describe hoever i have and am experiencing all that you are. Yes lets help each other. I may not be in a good place right now to offer much to you because i feel so terrified without my Rocky but if we could hold each others hand through this it would help me greatly and i really hope it will help you too Sleeping and staying asleep is really hard so i spend most of the night on th is website... it gives me a little peace for the moment. Waking up from sleeping is the worst because the first thing i realize as i awake is that my Rocky has died and is not in theroom with me. That's got to be the worst time This is really the hardest thing to go through this side of eternity. Everyone please keep dialoguing with me, it will be the lifesaving lifeline to get me through to the next moment Very very grateful to all of you. Hesista |
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Feb 25 2012, 10:54 AM
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#6
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Group: Banned Posts: 86 Joined: 21-February 12 Member No.: 7,493 |
And Cheri thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayerrs last night. It means the world to me
Hesista |
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Feb 25 2012, 12:08 PM
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#7
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 Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, hesista, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Rocky. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthansasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions on this side of eternity - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Our wonderful correspondents Mario, Cheri, and Kathy, have shared with you what is in my heart, so please read their responses frequently. This grief journey is filled with so many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. As has already been shared, unfortunately guilt is one of the emotions that is part of the grief journey, and it is one of the emotions that is the hardest to reconcile. Our beloved companions know we are mere mortals. We do not possess the privilege of foreknowlege. We do not have x-ray eyes that can scan their bones and organs to make sure that there is no illness lurking in their physical bodies so that we can attempt prompt medical intervention at the first sight of problems. The decisions we make are based on the information that we have at any given moment in time, and if it helps - - I want to add my deepest and sincerest support that you made the absolute best decision for your beloved Rocky by releasing him from his very ill, painful, physical body when you did. There is no greater love than putting the needs of another living being before our heart's deepest wants and desires - - which are to always keep them with us. The good news is that even though we are temporarily physically separated from our loved ones, we always have their sweet Living Spirit with us in our hearts and memories. The love bond we share with our companions is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Rocky is forever with you, hesista - - he is forever a part of you - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you. This grief journey is one of adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Rocky, and it is a very painful journey both emotionally and physically that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss that is in your heart, but nonetheless I hope and pray that somehow you will find some level of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in the words I share with you. Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, hesista. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of him - - but only when / if you want to. I hope today is being kind to you, and please remember that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through. We are here for you for as long as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Feb 25 2012, 02:24 PM
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#8
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Group: Banned Posts: 86 Joined: 21-February 12 Member No.: 7,493 |
Thank you Moonbeam so much for your words. I have cried reading everybody's letters to me. Today is especially hard. I'm going to sit and just focus on taking a few deep breaths. It seems that might be all i can do, i really feel tired today, just worn out, i stayed up most of the night again reading this website. Its the only thing i have to get me through to the next moment
Thank you Mario, Cheri, Kathy and Moonbeam and everybody for being here, it means so much to me. Hesista |
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Feb 25 2012, 03:42 PM
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#9
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Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some reassurance that what you are going through is very normal. How very well I know the gut-wrenching sobbing - - uncontrollable most of the time during the very deep grief. Grieving takes a lot of energy, and the stress of grieving takes a toll on our physical bodies. So the tiredness, the lack of concentration, the apprehension that requires us to take deep breaths. It is very important that you take extra special care of yourself now. If you cannot eat, which is another symptom of stress during this deep grief, it is important that you drink plenty of fluids so that you do not become dehydrated. It is also important that you try to keep the stress levels as low as possible. Unless it is a life dependent decision, it is best not to make any major decisions or changes until you're better able to concentrate on what needs to be done. Right now you are in what I call the "automatic pilot" stage - - things get done, bills get paid, jobs get done, errands get done, etc., but only because these are part of an established routine. Just be kind to yourself.
I thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, hesista. I do hope that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Feb 25 2012, 06:39 PM
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#10
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Group: Moderators Posts: 845 Joined: 24-March 04 From: Maine Member No.: 274 |
Hesista, We will not let you go down! We will be your lifeline.
I cried reading Moonbeam's (and everyone's) posts, especially the line: . The love bond we share with our companions is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space I think I got so "stuck" in the pain aspect of grief that I have almost forgotten this - although I know in my heart that it is true !!! Please do let us know how you are doing with eating... (and don't feel guilty if/when you can eat!!! When you feel any sort of appetite, it is Rocky's way of reminding you that you need to go on. You are meant to go on. He is there with you! Just not with his recognizable beautiful physical presence. You are still a Spirit in a physical body, and Moonbeam's words of wisdom on caring for that body are so important. Do the best you can. If the roles were reversed and Rocky was the one still in physical form, you'd be cheering him on for every caring thing he did for himself. He's doing the same for you.  I am absolutely OUTRAGED about the 2 people you called for support !!!!!!! They were cruel cruel CRUEL. Someone with a compassionate, feeling heart like you deserves to have compassionate, feeling people as friends. i come back from town completely shook up because i just can not endure the way people act towards me, i just feel too fragile You sound so much like me. I'm sensitive and compassionate, and I don't seem to belong in this world. But we're here for some reason (and I suppose the biggest reason may be to provide love to animals who need us). I can't stand the cruel-hearted world and find so much solace in discovering others, like you, with a real heart.  Sleeping and waking up! Oh I know! Is there something you can take to help you sleep? I needed to take something. And waking up to the LS site is the best idea I can think of ! More soon. You're in my prayers. Hugs and Rocky Love, Kathy -------------------- Compassion for all animals. www.earthlings.com
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Feb 25 2012, 08:43 PM
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#11
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 2,020 Joined: 13-April 11 Member No.: 7,067 |
Dear Hesista
I'll be honored to be part of your lifeline. I lost my beautiful Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, last April 11. She crashed in one day. At 8 Am she could walk and we went around our usual block to do our business and catch up on the doggies news. By noon, all she could do was stand. It was a Saturday and luckily we have an excellent vet school open 24/7 at the U of MN so i took her there. After the exam, etc. I was too afraid to take her home - on what would be her last night on earth. Although I know it was the right decision and I know she's long since forgiven me, I'll feel guilty about that as long as I live ... until I see her again on the other side. Whatever anyone else believes, I KNOW our animals, like people, live on after they leave the earth. And that they can see and hear and love us just exactly the same as they did when we could see and hear them, too. Once (maybe twice, I don't know) in a lifetime, one's soul mate animal finds you. The being who holds half of your soul and whose sould you hold half of. These incredible beings search the universe over until they find us - imagine that - and put themselves into our paths so we will find them. And when we do meet, it's an instant rush of infinite love. We look into each other's eyes and KNOW. While we're together on this earth, it's heaven. For some reason, Whoever made this universe decided to make their lifetimes so much shorter than ours. And when they leave this side and go back to the Perfect World - where they came from - it's like we're going to die of sadness. But our spirit animal IS here with us - we just can't see him or her. But they can see us and they continue to watch over us and protect us and love us and feel our love - exactly the same as when they were on this side. Once in a while we get glimpses of them or hear tiny, quick sosunds from them to let us know they're still here. These spirit animals KNOW our hearts and minds. They KNOW we do and did the absolute best and then some for them. As someone above has already said, they're already saying "Mom, please don't feel so sad. You did the right thing for me. I understand now and I understood then. We spirit animals can understand things SO much better than humans. Good thing, too. It's OK to hide, to be on "autopilot" as Moonbeam says. After a while the pain isn't so much like being constantly shot in the heart. It's just a certain sadness that never goes away. And in troubled times, we again cry for them. I think we hurt in proportion as we loved. And we each carry around an "other-shaped" hole in our hearts, which will be wondrously filled when we meet again. And we WILL meet again. And, know what? We'll both speak the same language then - the language of absolute happiness. We're here for you, Hesista. Anytime. 24/7. We NEVER EVER think, get over it or it's just a dog/cat/bunny. No. It's our other half and we have every reason to grieve. You'll live, Hesista, with the help of your LS friends. Peace and blessings, Gretta's mom |
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Feb 26 2012, 12:03 AM
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#12
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 49 Joined: 4-January 12 From: San Diego CA Member No.: 7,423 |
Hi Hesista
I just wanted to check in to see how you are holding up. I know you've been reading this site today. We are all here wanting to lift you up above all this pain, but we know all we can do is be here for you and let you know we will see you through this journey, every step of the way. So, remember that window god leaves open whenever he closes a door? You found it here with us, we all are opening it together and where ever it leads Im sure Rocky has something to do with it! Please take care of you and i will keep you in my prayers. Cheri |
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Feb 26 2012, 01:32 AM
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#13
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 19-February 12 Member No.: 7,491 |
Hi Hesista,
I just wanted to offer my sincerest condolences over the loss of your beloved Rocky. Like you, I lost my beloved Percy a few days ago. I have found this site a godsend because there are so many other who can understand how we are feeling. I do believe with all of my heart that Rocky is still around you in spirit and that he is waiting patiently for you at the Bridge. Even though he is physically away from you, he still loves you and would like for you to carry on. I can also understand how you have lost your appetite and your wanting to be alone. That was true for me, too, but I think that your Rocky would like for you to take care of yourself--he doesn't want to see you hurt. With that, please take care of yourself and keep an open eye and heart for little signs from your furbaby. Since Percy's passing, I've seen so many signs that he is still around. Love transcends all dimensions. |
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Feb 26 2012, 08:37 AM
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#14
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Group: Banned Posts: 86 Joined: 21-February 12 Member No.: 7,493 |
Thank you so much Gracelysprocket percy's mom, Gretta's Mom, Kathy, Cheri, and Moonbeam for everything you say. You each offer healing truths in your own way and it all sooths and touches me so much and means so much to me i cannot tell you how much. This is the greatest kindness i have experienced in my life. Its so kind of you Percys mom to take time from your grieving to reach out to lift me up when your baby died so recently, a few days ago. I understand and feel everything you do.
I forgot to tell everyone that my beautiful Rocky was a light tan dog, lab/rhodesian ridgeback mix. He was regal and princely. Thank you all for reminding me over and over that He is still with me. That always helps me get to the next moment where i can take a breath and feel him, and then i plummet into grief again missing his wonderful physical presence. That's why it means so much everytime you all say "Rocky is still with you". Yesterday was so hard, i took some different kinds of herbal sedatives early in the day to zonk me out because i was just so tired and wanted to escape the day. And i woke up dreadfully missing my Rocky so i went onto this website and i read your letters and what they meant to me! Yes Kathy, i too know and have known all my life that i don't belong in this human world. The way I see and experience the way most people think and act horrifies me and i can't believe it. To me All life is sacred, precious and Beloved. And it too gives me solace that there are people like you, like all of us that really get that in the depths of our souls.. Everyone's words kept me from going under this morning and yes, i too have felt that Rocky brought me to this site to be here with all of you, to hold and comfort each other because i don't know how else I'm going to make it. Please keep dialoguing with me, its my only lifeline Thank you thank you thank you Hesista |
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Feb 26 2012, 09:36 AM
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#15
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 2,020 Joined: 13-April 11 Member No.: 7,067 |
Good morning Hesista
Here's a day's worth of love and support for you from me, all the people here in your lightning strike family AND ALL (ALL) the fur babies in the perfect World - who ruch to the aid of people and each other who are iin trouble (so unlike people on earth, eh?) Keep on exhaling after you inhale and when you inhale, know that Rocky is right there with you exhaling the breath you inhale and inhaling the breath you exhale. I know it SO doesn't seem like it, but it's true. I'll check in with you later. XOXOXO Gretta's mom |
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Feb 26 2012, 12:08 PM
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#16
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Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, hesista, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Your beloved Rocky is a regal and handsome prince with his lineage of Lab / Ridgeback.
I think part of the struggle that we deal with in our grief journey is training our minds to continue thinking of them in the present tense: "is" instead of "was". Their sweet Living Spirit continues to be with us, and their Spirit is ALIVE. So, therefore, they continue to be an ever-present part of us - - just differently. I, too, am the "black sheep" of my family when it comes to my beliefs of God's non-human creatures. When I share time with my human family members someone always finds a way to "put me in my place" about my beliefs. I, too, have always felt "estranged" from the human population. The only place I truly feel I can share what is in my heart is here among my friends who truly do understand the incredibly wonderful and beautiful gift God gives to us in our precious and beloved companions. So, hesista, please know YOU are the blessed one - - YOU are the privileged one. It is the people we meet in our lives - - who sometimes share our iives - - and criticize us for our beliefs who are sadly confused. Hesista, once again please let me add my reassurance along with our wonderful correspondents that you are never alone in your grief adjustment journey. I so do understand how unbearably painful it is to wake up to the new reality that your beloved Rocky is no longer physically present with you. I so do understand the seering stabbing pain that is in your heart, and how incredibly difficult it is to breathe. It is so important that you allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve for your beloved Rocky - - as you feel appropriate. The tears you cry are literally healing tears. They literally wash away the toxins that build up in your body from the stress of grief. And this is why during our deepest painful grief our tears are so uncontrollable - - because we are literally consumed with the deepest sorrow we will know on this side of eternity, and our bodies are trying to literally wash away the pain. I promise you, hesista, that someday probably when you least expect it you will begin to feel stronger again. You will find yourself thinking of your beloved Rocky and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and you will feel your heart fill with the warmth of your many treasured memories - - wrapped in the eternal love of your beloved Rocky. But this is just going to take time, hesista, one day at a time, one moment at a time. Each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Feb 26 2012, 01:55 PM
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#17
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 49 Joined: 4-January 12 From: San Diego CA Member No.: 7,423 |
Hi Hesista, Here we are together facing the day, not sure how it will play out. I hope today you will have one moment that is pain free, just a glimpse into how the future can be. Right now it feels as if nothing can ease the terrible pain in your heart, and although it will always ache for your baby Rocky, you will get to the other side of it, I promise. But for today, you only need to take care of yourself, for Rocky would wish it so. You have so much love left inside to give, maybe even a chance to share your courage and strength with another on this site who is also facing this daunting struggle to keep above water. We all struggle, we all second guess ourselves, but when we lean on each other our united stenghth can get us through anything. Nothing is more powerful than love and we have enough to go around, we'll see it through together.
Cheri |
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 Feb 26 2012, 02:31 PM
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#18
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Group: Moderators Posts: 776 Joined: 26-February 04 From: Massachusetts, USA Member No.: 245 |
Dear (((((((Hesista)))))))
I received your PM yesterday and sent you a PM last evening. I'm not sure if you received it or not, so I'll post it here for you. Sending you many healing prayers today. Peace & Love, Denise ************************** Dear (((((((Hesista))))))) I'm so very sorry to hear about your precious & beloved boy, Rocky Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this extremely difficult time.I checked your post on the forum and see that you have received some wonderful & helpful replies from Mario8, Cheri, Kathy & Moon_Beam. I want you to know that I can truly feel your pain and heartbreak Losing someone you love soooooo much, like your beautiful Rocky, is horribly painful. In fact, in my experience, losing a furbaby is the worst pain of all.QUOTE i have been tormented with regrets that i didn't bring him home from the vet so that he and i could spend the last few days together at home saying goodbye. Instead when the cancer showed in the xray to have spread throughout his stomach and spleen and the only option i was given was to euthanize i couldn't stand to see rocky struggle another minute so i agreed. Because you LOVED your Rocky so very, very much and because his needs came before yours, it was with that deep love in your heart that you made the decision that you did. And, as difficult as it was, I believe in my heart that you made the right decision for Rocky. Being able to relieve their suffering is truly the last gift of love that we can give them. You loved your Rocky so much that you gave him "the gift of peace". When I first came here to LS a long time ago, after having our precious little furkid put to sleep, a caring member said to me, "Denise, you took on Ernie-Bird's pain so that she could finally be without pain". What she said made sense to me. You stated in your post last night, QUOTE His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I That sounds exactly like how I felt. When my little man was happy, then all was right with the world. Just 30 days ago, on January 25th, we made the decision to have our beloved & handsome furcat put to sleep. Like you, I miss my precious man more than words can say. Hesista, I know that your beautiful Rocky is right inside your heart at this very minute. He will ALWAYS BE WITH YOU. Please, don't ever forget that. And, Rocky will ALWAYS LOVE YOU! You will find a lot of love & caring here at Lightning-Strike. Please write whenever you feel like it. Some replies don't come right away, but they will. This website is for people all over the world, and we're all in different time zones. I will close for now. Much love, comfort & peace to you, my friend. Denise -------------------- Our Beloved Girl, Ernestine (AKA) "Ernie-Bird"
April, 1984 - February 7, 2004 ***AFFA*** Forever, you will ALWAYS live on in our hearts! DEPARTED FROM EARTH, NEVER FORGOTTEN.... Love, Mom & Dad xoxoxoxoxo ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." Immanuel Kant "Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight" Albert Schweitzer |
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Feb 26 2012, 06:24 PM
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#19
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 1,193 Joined: 17-April 11 From: Kentucky Member No.: 7,071 |
Dear hesista.....I can't add much to what all these wonderful ladies have said, but I want you to know I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Rocky. This grief journey is very hard, but we are all here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can feel better soon and remember your sweet Rocky with smiles.....God Bless....((((HUGS))))
LoveMyMickey -------------------- "Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." |
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Feb 26 2012, 09:08 PM
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#20
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Group: Banned Posts: 86 Joined: 21-February 12 Member No.: 7,493 |
Thank you so much Denise, LoveMy Mickey, Gretta's Mom, Cheri and Moonbeam! I cry and cry reading all your letters. Again it was your letters that have gotten from one minute to the next and helped me get through this day. I ask you to please forgive me at this time if i'm not in a place to write you all the beautiful letters of comfort that you write me because this grieving is so painful for me and most of the time just putting one foot in front of the other is too much to handle and most of the time simple thought processes are again daunting. In time i would be so honored and grateful to reciprocate all the healing and kindness you give me, i may need time though, a lot of time to get to that place
I want to tell you ALL that Your words, thoughts, prayers, kindness and caring are the most healing balm to this pain, a pain i can't even describe properly Please keep dialoguing with me, it keeps me remembering to breathe So grateful. Hesista |
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